I am hideous and it's making me miserable

[GoldSwan48]

Hello,

Something really awful has happened to my face - I am guessing hormones. I am 38 and I look about 20 years older. My face has sagged, I have loads of deep wrinkles in my forehead and under my eyes as well as huge eye bags. It seems to have happened in a few weeks. I eat well, drink lots of water, take a multivitamin, use retinal (can't handle tret) and ceramides and peptides, moisturiser and factor 50 every day. Everything I use is from the high street, I can't afford expensive stuff and definitely can't afford going for facial treatments or botox. Thing is, its killing my confidence. I feel like I deserve to only walk around in huge baggy jumpers and stuff because my face is too ugly to wear my nice clothes. My teeth have also yellowed which is weird, my dentist said he wasn't sure why it had happened recently (don't drink coffee, tea, smoke or drink alcohol etc). I have no glow, I look terrible.

Is there anything that has boosted you? Given your skin a glow? Helped to whiten your teeth? I have tried to get those crest whitening strips from America but can't find anywhere as they're not legal here I don't think. I feel dirty and gross, even when I am clean and fresh. I feel like giving up on myself and I don't want to be in this position. I don't understand.

Have you had a full health investigation by your GP? They can test for hormones, blood markers etc? It feels unusual that this has all happened so quickly and might be indicative of another issue that can be resolved

I've lost a lot of weight over the last 18 months, I noticed around 6 months ago my skin was getting loose and saggy, including on my face. I started taking a collagen supplement off amazon, it didn't seem to do much so I tried the nutrition geeks collagen powder. Honestly 3 months in and I can see an improvement, my skin is "glowing" and firmer, my hair and nails are healthier too. I take it mixed in my morning coffee. Sorry if I sound like an advertisement for it but it's really worked for me 🤣

Also, I agree with others, ask the GP for a full set of bloods to look for deficiencies/illness markers as a drastic change in a short period of time is concerning

I'm using the Marvis toothpaste now and find it absolutely made a big difference . I get it online

This line of thought backs up what the PP said about this being a mental thing rather than anything else. You can't possibly have aged so dramatically within a couple of weeks unless you have been seriously ill. Get some bloods done to rule anything out.

Not sure if it's been said, but how does this compare to your mum at your age, and your dad's mum, or sisters if you have them? You can do so much with diet and treatments, but so much is genetic. I don't look after myself half as well as you and although I'm no beauty, I've stayed looking a good 5-10 years younger than my age just thanks to genetics. Which isn't to gloat but just to say that if your mum or other related women had similar issues then there's less to worry about in a way (as in it's natural and not a health issue) and it'll be a balance of expectations and acceptance, self love and all that.

Yep this sounds like you need therapy, OP, not some dodgy tooth whitening treatment.

This.

Sorry you're feeling like this OP.

Lots of good suggestions above re going back to doctor, stress levels and sleep levels. Have you also considered that you may be exercising too much? Exercise puts your body in temporary distress which is good in short bouts but if you're exercising excessively while also having a job that has you on your feet all day, that may be draining you too much.

I'm 56. My experience is that during the aging process we encounter a few age spurts along the way, where all of a sudden we notice there have been some changes. Given that we only spend a quarter of our adult lives officially 'young' and this is reflected in our faces and bodies, it's essential we get to grips with it so we don't ruin all the other amazing things life has to offer that are nothing to do with how we look.
My advice is to make any changes you realistically can. However, other than in your case saving up for teeth whitening, making sure your hair looks the way you like it, and wearing clothes you like, you're probably doing everything possible. So after that it's down to training your mind away from these thoughts.
My first step would be to dramatically reduce your mirror time. If you find yourself gazing critically then go and do something else. Turn your focus out to things that bring you joy and pleasure. Distract yourself as hard as you can. The best experiences in life are completely irrelevant to your looks. Food tastes as good, friends are as fun to be with, nature is as beautiful and activities are as exciting or enriching with a less than youthful face as with a young one. So go live your life, because you've probably got another 50 years of not looking as young as you'd prefer. And if those years are full, it shouldn't matter.

@hetookthecorkscrewtoodo you have a link to these please?

I second this, mine all came back “normal” but when I actually read them a lot were borderline and so I started taking supplements for everything borderline and felt 1000x better. I think they often don’t actually read the results, it just flags up if you’re deficient and they don’t look at anything on the cusp

You can get teeth whitening strips from Amazon for about £15. They aren't Crest but they genuinely do work, made quite a difference to my teeth

Didn't want to post a link just incase it's not allowed but it's this one. The firms and tones one.

OP, are you 100% sure you don't have facial dysphoria or an ED or another mental health problem, rather than being 'hideous'?

If you can hand on heart say you don't, then I'd say, be patient. Sudden aging often levels off and the person looks significantly better after a while. I've seen this on several friends (I'm 55).

In the meantime, follow some of the good advice on here.

And I'm 100% certain you aren't hideous!

This is really strong, you will need a very clean face but they blend in really well with a light foundation. You will need to hide them in your hairline

I sort of agree. I'm sure OP is absolutely not hideous, and it's more self perceived. However, doing little things to take control and feel better about yourself can improve your confidence and mental health.

Start with the clothes though OP! I've just read the comment about thinking others are wondering why you're dressing up. Nobody is thinking that about you, I promise. They will more likely be thinking, oh, I like that outfit, I wonder where it's from 🤣

You’ve been on the coil 8 months, this has happened quickly over the last few months and you think it’s hormonal … have you not therefore considered that this may be due to the coil?

As mentioned by a PP, I would relax with the factor 50 suncream for a bit and see what happens. Vitamin D is essential for good dental health as it helps your body absorb calcium, which strengthens bones and, importantly, tooth enamel. In the UK we are a bit obsessed with sunscreen at a unnecessarily high level. Even if you decide to keep factor 50 on your face, you can get your arms out in the autumn sun when, as you mention, you are working outside.

Look at teethwhitestripsuk on instagram - life changing

What a beautiful post. You've really lifted my spirits - I felt exactly like the OP until I had some therapy and learned to appreciate all those things like you said that don't depend on how you look.

My face dropped like a stone at 38. It was hormonal (I was on a major dose of steroids that messed up my cycle, basically put me in a kind of chemical meno). I did and do a ton of gua aha which helps me, also the things you’re already doing: good food and lots of water. One thing that truly helped apart from dropping my dose was vagus nerve/nervous system regulation. The more stressed I was the worse I looked.

Please don’t put yourself down soo much . I’m sure none of what you see in the mirror is as bad as you’re thinking. I don’t know if you can afford it but my daughter got one of the electric face masks and uses it every day for a few minutes . It’s really helped with her skin and the bags under her eyes . They are expensive but maybe something you can save up for or ask family to pay towards it for your Christmas present. You may also feel better if you wear your nicer clothes instead of hiding in baggy old stuff . People probably don’t see your Face/skin as you do but will notice if you’re wearing a nice outfit . Take care x

MayaPinion · Today 09:50

You’re putting too much shit on your face. Your skin is exhausted and suffocated. Leave it alone and get out into the autumn sun without your factor 50 on for a few weeks. I guarantee you’ll notice a difference. Whoever made us believe we need to slather 7 or 8 different products on our faces every day in the hope of creating marginal temporary improvements needs a slap on the head.

I agree with all of this but not the spf. Spf is the most important thing you can wear, it prevents harmful rays (not just from the summer sun) damaging your skin and also skin cancer. I’d agree take vitamin d and stop putting so many products on your face. I also agree with the people who say we have certain points where we notice more than we did

It took me ages to get a doctor that understood that normal did not equal optimal when I was having some deficiencies investigated. There might be a normal range but if it's not normal for you then it's not normal.

Wish more doctors understood this, but yes to the OP check your results and see if you can supplement them yourself you will feel so much better.