Thread for women who will not be defeated by menopause/ peri

[Marmaladegin]

I'm 42 and have recently been diagnosed with peri. To be clear, I'm comfortable with my age. But I need to find a style that I find both comfortable and hip, and not feel that everything is sliding downhill into being someone I don't recognise. I do not love the term "princessing" but I suppose this thread is about "queening", and also clothes stuff. Here are the challenges I'm experiencing, that I'm intending to battle and would love company.

I was in a London art gallery yesterday and there were numerous 50 plus women who looked very very cool.

I am 50, and struggling with finding clothes for my newly apple shaped body. I am a small busted, size 12 apple. I am also bored of black, florals, and black florals.

Facial hair. And actually increased body hair in general. Wtf. I suddenly need to wax my chin fortnightly.

Hair. It is suddenly dull, course and frizzy. A bob used to look excellent on me but I don't think would suit my jaw any longer. And when I sweep it up in a messy bun I now look like a headmistress.

Weight gain. Dear god it makes looking stylish so much harder.

I sound a peach don't I! Added to this I have somehow got my dream job starting September and I am determined to go into it looking and feeling stylish. Anyone with me?

Marking place. Also struggling with the peri thicker middle.

I am IN! Love this thread idea.
I am not yet perimenopausal, according to my doctor, but I should be- I am 50.

so I’m preparing anyway.

one recommendation I’ll pass along that has helped me and other women a lot, and it sounds insane: wool pajamas.

there’s a company called wool& , and their EU store is a bit smaller, but they still do ship over there.

the merino wool blend has stopped my night sweating & overheated feeling completely. It’s the natural fibers, but somehow, I still sweat a lot even in cotton! Not the wool, though.

Oh good!! Other people! I know what you mean about body shape @TheaBrandt - I used to be an hour-glass, now I'm a large 12 but really not sure what shape.

Wool pajamas do sound insane! I get very overheated, especially as I live in London and on the tube.

For frizzy hair, I swear by Garnier Banana Hair Food. V cheap too, so if it doesn't suit you, bin it.

I hate the changed shape menopause has given me. Weight gain was exacerbated by a high dose of tablets that slowed my metabolism.
I have stopped those now and am determined to reverse the look 😖
Clothes I struggle with.

There was a very useful You tube video some time ago on how to dress your apple shaped body, but for the life of me, I can't find it now.

However, trial and error has shown me that wearing oversize baggy clothes to disguise my belly only makes me look larger. I now attempt to find something with a waist, though not super fitted. I am also wearing a lot of open shirts- suit me better than tees- with a vest underneath.

Well today I'm going to start planning in diary for chin/tache waxing (strips from boots) and lumea sessions. A couple of years ago I had negligible body hair!
And I'm going to make breakfast smoothies for the week ahead and freeze.

@Fuctifin0 what tablets please? I'm wondering if my HRT is exacerbating weight gain

@Marmaladegin I am Asian so I have enough facial hair for 10 people. I used to get it threaded but now costs have gone up, so I dermablade with a dermablading pack from Superdry.

@Marmaladegin I was on Propranalol for migraine. Sadly, peri made them worse and I was put on a higher dose.
The neurologist said it would make me hungry, it didnt but it did cause my weight to increase 😭
The only good thing to come out of the menopause is no more migraine, after 44 years. Every cloud 🙄

Ah ok. I've actually been getting migraines for about 3 years, I guess related to peri. I started taking magnesium supplement and it solved it.

The menopause is why you never see a post on here that begins: 'I'm 50 now and I know what suits me.' It was a totally discombobulating time. I grew boobs and didn't even notice, but couldn't work out why my favourite stripey top looked shit all of a sudden. Anyway I went to Bravissimo wearing a 32B and came out in a 28F so that's my number 1 tip - it was a gamechanger.

I spent hours pouring over books and magazines and blogs trying to figure out what my new body shape was. Complete waste of time. So that's tip number 2.

Tip number 3 - just try on loads and loads of clothes including - in fact especially - things you've never tried before. Admittedly this was back in the day when there were still real shops with real changing rooms so it was much easier to impulse try, but do it if you can. Take photos because you might not see the 'new you' properly in the mirror. I discovered tube skirts and lived in them for 5 or 6 years. I'd have probably never given them a go previously.

It was also a very strange time emotionally, and even though I'm not spiritual. I used to spend hours standing at the window at 3am, wide awake, watching the sky and thinking about the universe. It made me think a lot about being a woman too and what that means. This is s&b so I'll stick to clothes but don't forget to look after yourself in other ways too.

My new year's resolution is to only buy clothes I have tried on, but finding it hard to stick to, as so many changing rooms are crap these days, and shops have zero stock! But I have too many mistakes in my cupboard.

Stuff that normal apples look good in doesn't suit me because I am small busted and reasonably slim everywhere else, just a massive tum.

I need to get remeasured for bras and buy some new ones. Is M and S still ok for this? I am a 34 B, so I don;t need Bravissimo, I think.

@barmycatmum if you're having night sweats you will be menopausal. Many Gp's will state after a single blood test that you're not. But hormone levels vary so widely even over the course of one day that these tests are virtually useless.
Doctors are so badly trained on hrt & the moneopause with less than one afternoons training. The menopause board here is very helpful & informative if you need help.

@TheaBrandt
Can you describe what the cool 50 somethings were wearing?

Joining this thread and giving it a little bump.

Think I'm possibly post meno (had hysterectomy while ago) and am 55.

Need to lose a stone in weight as well. Have to be determined.

Ready to cull my wardrobe of all the crap.

Joining 🫠

I’m joining you.

I bought a couple of pieces from Massimo Dutti linen collection : wide leg trousers and a linen 3/4 sleeves top. It looks quite stylish, got a slight sheen to it and the trousers have the elastic at the back, not all the way around.

I also got a pair of flat silver sandals with a slightly chunky sole to go with it.

The wardrobe I used to swear by looks awful on me.

I always wear diamond studs, but I think I should try and find other funky, interesting earrings.

I have a chunky silver necklace I always wear, hence the studs. And silver bangles.

I need a handbag, preferably a cross body.

I might be wrong, but I’m thinking it’s the shoes and the accessories that need to do the talking these days :)

Well this week I did reasonably well at eating low carb, exercising and teeth whitening. I've decided to concentrate on the things that are not related to clothes size for the moment (and see if I can switch HRT to see if weight gain is reduced) - teeth, nails, jewellery, shoes.

So I've decided to search for a pair of gold hoops and a bucket bag. And some good under eye coverage. Eborian under eye cc is good... but I think occasionally I'd like some heavy coverage...or something to erase fine lines... 🦄!

Buddhaatsea I agree on the accessories comment.
Shoes too, my current favourites are some snakeskin espadrilles.

I like to wear plain clothes, very simple shapes, my expanding belly throws out my old silhouette.
I've taken to wearing a loose black vest with black 7/8 slim harem pants with a kimono.
It hopefully draws the eye to the kimono pattern and not my gut.

@Floisme i don’t want to derail the thread as it’s a good one! But interested in what your said re thinking about what it means to be a woman.

I’m mid 40s and very strongly appreciating my female friends and how amazing they are. Really cherishing time and laughter with them.

I’d like to join the fray too. Lost the way a little on the fashion front and with a new job feeling the need to sort it out!!!