Please help! Warm weather (city break) dressing with a voluminous perimenopausal middle.

[LabraDabraDoo]

I'm 44, and have in the past couple of years developed a perimenopausal middle, which now leaves me at the larger end of size 12, at least around the middle. The rest of me is in pretty good shape, but the clothes that worked for my last city break (2019, those were the days!) look terrible. In fitted Breton T-shirts or vest tops, I'm just all middle and feel so self conscious.

We are off to Sorrento for a few days soon, and will be doing lots of walking and active visits. Dresses with a waist work well, and I've packed a couple for sunny days. I have two pairs of cropped jeans which look nice, but what can I wear on top to flatter my middle? All the shops seems to have fitted or tucked in tops, which look lovely, but aren't an option. I guess I'll also need to be able to layer whatever I choose, as it can get chilly in the evenings.

Any ideas of styles/ shops I can try would be really helpful as I'm at a bit of a loss and really want to feel like I can look nice again!

Would something like this work with your jeans?

I have some nice blouses from new look with a sort of peplum bottom and short sleeves - they look super smart and also summery.

They cover the bulge I have nicely!

Blouson style t shirts work well on me- apple shaped. So elastic around the hem.

www.next.co.uk/style/st778554/216145#216145
Like this

I have these t-shirts in white navy, khaki, stone and black. They have a flattering v neck, skim over everything but still manage to not make me look boxy. They look great with jeans as they're long enough to cover my tummy. I also wear them with magic trousers and shorts, which are great for travelling.

https://manamou.co.uk/products/basic-v-neck-t-shirt-white-1?pos=19&&sid=dd05c8603&ss=r

This M & S dress is great too, elasticated waist, very flattering, can be worn on or off the shoulder, comes in khaki too but I think the blue and white is great with a denim jacket and trainers.

Ooh Sorrento is beautiful, enjoy! How about loose maxi dresses? Hush have some lovely ones.

Thank you so much. There are some lovely ideas in here.

It’s my birthday today so I’m going to treat myself to a couple of nice tops suggested here, for more active days. Also, a couple of tops and dresses from Hush, which will work with trainers. I think dresses might be the way forward!

Will a casual cotton shirt work? I find something with a collar usually draws thr eye upwards and you can leave a few buttons open at the top to create a flattering v shape neck.

Can layer over one of your old fitted tshirts for layering purposes too if it's a bit chilly

I'm a firm leggings, trainers and oversized t shirt for city breaks now! Always take a blazer too if going for food.

Zara have some bright coloured linen shirts in at the moment
I have an orange one and a blue one
Long sleeved but they roll up and have pres studs to hold them up.

As you mentioned Hush…. I’ve just bought this www.hush-uk.com/bay-jersey-dress-animal-abstract-khaki/005421-3810.html#list=Dresses%23list=Dresses. Not my usual thing, but very flattering. The culottes in same print are nice too. I’m expecting a few more things from Hush today, will update if they’re any good

One more question about peri tums….

Can a jumpsuit ever work? I love this but am I too spherical nowadays?

www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-lyla-tile-print-wide-leg-jumpsuit-pink-multi/p6136107

I have a voluminous tummy, and thanks to the kind tips from S and B posters, have found that this style of batwing top works. Oversize shirts just make me look larger. Everything needs to have a defined waist. www.phase-eight.com/product/cristine-batwing-fine-knit-jumper-403527153.html

Totally agree @JanisMoplin
Phase Eight Cristine and Becca jumpers, Becca dress, Mint Velvet batwing blouson jumpers are all great. Especially if like a lot of apples you have good legs.

I have a couple of flattering jumpsuits. They need a V neck and wide legs to work for me.

@MsDastardley

As you mentioned Hush…. I’ve just bought this www.hush-uk.com/bay-jersey-dress-animal-abstract-khaki/005421-3810.html#list=Dresses%23list=Dresses. Not my usual thing, but very flattering. The culottes in same print are nice too. I’m expecting a few more things from Hush today, will update if they’re any good

I've just bought that too! Just waiting for it to arrive. Glad to hear it's flattering.

On the subject of jumpsuits I got two jersey ones from Hush last year. V necked, wide leg, super flattering and soooo comfortable!

After living in jeans all my life, these days I find jeans very uncomfortable. I am now buying shirred or elasticated waist cotton dresses to stay cool. Next is good for these. Something like this, though not this particular one because puff sleeves make me look like an American football player. www.next.co.uk/style/st851676/a19733?dp=a&gclid=CjwKCAjwiuuRBhBvEiwAFXKaNDeFk9fa_r4_awG-KOJc9E44eK-Jcy5ZSjHkUo5fL-vIgG4rHZfpdRoCLw0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#a19733

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

@LBFseBrom

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

I walk over 12 k steps a day- no car-and eat very healthy. Still developed a large tummy aged 50. I was a size 8 before menopause. It is a thing- esp for certain ethnic groups- and not always easy to lose.

JanisMoplin This is me too. I am generally active (could be more active, but I work full time and have primary aged kids). I swim, do dog agility twice a week, do yoga and walk. I eat pretty well, again within the constraints of normal family life and a busy professional role.

But there's no denying my middle has changed shape (I'm not much heavier than before so it's not just weight gain). It's just come out of nowhere, and has coincided with mood changes and sleep troubles and so I'm pretty sure it's related to hormonal changes.

You are right that this affects some ethnic groups more than others. MIL is 76, is a tall, lithe South African and looks better than me in a bathing costume. She is active and eats well, but no differently to me. I, on the other hand am descended from Baltic Ashkenazi Jews (dad) and Anglo Saxon (mum) peasant stock. I have always tended to put weight on around my middle, which I know isn't a good thing. I've seen generations come and go and them wobbly middles ain't just beigels!

@LBFseBrom

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

Of course it is a thing! I am reasonably slim but my stomach is much larger than it used to be at the same weight. I walk over 10,000 steps a day and work out with weights/ cardio for 1 - 1 1/2 hours most days. I also eat a healthy diet.

Fat redistributes due to a change in hormones. So whilst it is possible to avoid gaining weight due to a good diet and exercise, your shape will still change to a more body shape.

OP I am the same age as you and find jumpsuits really flattering and comfy whilst looking smart. I would pack several jumpsuits for a city break as I love them. Always thought they would be unflattering for those of us with a bit of a tummy but I found the opposite to be true. I get loads of compliments whenever I wear a jumpsuit. Patterned ones seem to be more flattering than plain ones, I find

I'm finding this thread very useful.
I've just bought this top in both the white and blue from M&S https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-linen-puff-sleeve-blouse/p/clp60525246?color=WHITE&prevPage=srp#intid=prodColourId-60525246.
I'm planning to wear it with the sleeves pulled up rather than down so I can wear a bra with it.
Thought it would be perfect for city breaks teamed with these Foil 7/8 trousers which I have in a few colour ways and are comfortable but fashionable ( I think) https://www.gemini-woman.co.uk/item/Foil/Trapeze-7-8-Pull-on-Trouser/F2SY?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=base&utmcampaign=base&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI86GV2pHc9gIVB-7tCh34yw-bEAQYBSABEgIeooD_BwE#.YjsFyy-nyhA

Or I have a few dresses from Brakeburn - anything skimming with a high waist looks good, and they have pockets which is handy.

rookiemere that top is lovely, just the sort of thing I like. The blue looks good too. I love blue linen.

@LabraDabraDoo the blue is a gorgeous colour IRL.Not sure how it washes as I haven't worn it yet.