Please help! Warm weather (city break) dressing with a voluminous perimenopausal middle.

[LabraDabraDoo]

I'm 44, and have in the past couple of years developed a perimenopausal middle, which now leaves me at the larger end of size 12, at least around the middle. The rest of me is in pretty good shape, but the clothes that worked for my last city break (2019, those were the days!) look terrible. In fitted Breton T-shirts or vest tops, I'm just all middle and feel so self conscious.

We are off to Sorrento for a few days soon, and will be doing lots of walking and active visits. Dresses with a waist work well, and I've packed a couple for sunny days. I have two pairs of cropped jeans which look nice, but what can I wear on top to flatter my middle? All the shops seems to have fitted or tucked in tops, which look lovely, but aren't an option. I guess I'll also need to be able to layer whatever I choose, as it can get chilly in the evenings.

Any ideas of styles/ shops I can try would be really helpful as I'm at a bit of a loss and really want to feel like I can look nice again!

Happy Birthday @LabraDabraDoo !!!!
Save some of that birthday money for shoes in Sorrento, I had some gorgeous leather sandals made whilst I waited - you pick your heel style and height, then pick your design, then pick a colour, all for about €40. I loved Sorrento, popped over to Capri for the day too, you'll have the best time.

I have several cotton tops from Monsoon in this style. They're thin cotton so cool and comfortable. They do not cling to the stomach. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/313920239178?hash=item49171ab64a:g:OZUAAOSwmtJhcYkV

@rookiemere I tried that top on in m&s but on me it looked very boxy, I think it didn't help that I'm petite 5ft2 so it was to long as well.

Menopause-Middle is most definitely a thing. Your body starts to store fat very differently, and is much harder to shift.

I spent years battling with it. My figure was a size 12, but my abdomen was a very generous size 14. I looked permanently 5 months pregnant. I got so fed up of dressing to disguise it.

So last year I had it all cut off with an extended tummy tuck and liposuction. I went into theatre with a bloated 35-36" waist - woke up with a neat 28 inch waist. Best thing I ever did. Abdomen now flat and taut, and I'm a small size 12 all over, at last. I can easily tuck tops in, or do that casual French tuck thing. Slightly cropped tops are easy too.

@peaceanddove

Menopause-Middle is most definitely a thing. Your body starts to store fat very differently, and is much harder to shift.

I spent years battling with it. My figure was a size 12, but my abdomen was a very generous size 14. I looked permanently 5 months pregnant. I got so fed up of dressing to disguise it.

So last year I had it all cut off with an extended tummy tuck and liposuction. I went into theatre with a bloated 35-36" waist - woke up with a neat 28 inch waist. Best thing I ever did. Abdomen now flat and taut, and I'm a small size 12 all over, at last. I can easily tuck tops in, or do that casual French tuck thing. Slightly cropped tops are easy too.

Sigh. I wish I had the nerve for surgery but I do not. But never say never.

How come not everyone has it? I don't. I have had a 'large middle' from bad eating habits when I was younger and when young but nothing different from the menopause, on the contrary have been quite trim. I weigh more, am heavier than I look, but don't care about that.

JanisMoplin there's far more risk attached to having a routine C-section than there is to a tummy tuck. Honestly.

Following for ideas as i’m the same

@peaceanddove I didn't have Csecs either:) But I have diverted the thread.

@LBFseBrom

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

How about thinking about clothes, as the OP asked, instead of preaching?

Jumpsuits can be quite flattering, but might need to try a lot on to find the 'right' one.

Fatface sometimes have nice cotton blouses that can work well with shorts or jeans. This looks pretty but it would depend on how you feel about print/colour.

I quite like this from M&S - might work with rolled up jeans?

I like that Phase Eight batwing jumper. Think I can feel a shopping trip coming on!

@LBFseBrom not everyone has it because everyone is different! Simple.

Everyone's hormonal profile is slightly different and it is a thing - a thickening of the waist even if you are slim.

I think I'm basically moving to dresses now.
I'm tempted by that hush dress actually too - I bought this one already

I had to start taking steroids everyday. Went from an 8 to a 14. But judge away @LBFseBrom

Personally I'd rather be rounder and still have a sense of humour/be able to rabbit on about clothes than sneer and assume I'm better than others.

Have a look at what Andi Oliver wears (she links the shops on IG). I think she is utterly fabulous and body confident.

For longer term, I’ve been following Dr Jason Fung doing low carb ( not keto) with intermittent fasting. It’s not only got rid of my type 2 diabetes, but it’s made a lot of difference to my apple shape.
Have a great weekend away .

So, on the original topic, so posters think that a top/dress in a woven material is more flattering to a large middle than jersey? I have always been in favour of jersey but have noticed recently it clinging in the wrong places .

I know what you mean about Jersey - the thin clingy type definitely not that flattering - but weighty Jersey with a slight stiffness and good drape can be really good

Same issues re belly.
I almost only wear swing dresses now, mostly ones that are just above knee and have arms up to elbow covered as upper expanding arms seem to go with belly.
Never wear man made fabrics and tend to
love white or coloured linen shift dresses too. Many are much easier to buy in Italy / Spain / France so rather than buy here, try and get them abroad in any department store. Much better choice and colours.
Combine with sneakers or sandals = comfy and chic.
Love me and em, just bought a few dresses for summer, some short , some long
www.meandem.com/cheesecloth-pleat-detail-swing-dress-white
www.meandem.com/cheesecloth-pleat-detail-swing-dress-white
They can all be washed and their quality is great.

@LabraDabraDoo I got a jumpsuit from Next last year - like this , wide legs and bardot top - and it is very flattering. I carry all my weight in my middle too.

www.next.co.uk/g64558s9/t28988#t28988

@Rina66 I have just ordered lots from that website you recommend - everything looks good!

[quote missfliss]@LBFseBrom not everyone has it because everyone is different! Simple.

Everyone's hormonal profile is slightly different and it is a thing - a thickening of the waist even if you are slim.

I think I'm basically moving to dresses now.
I'm tempted by that hush dress actually too - I bought this one already [/quote]
I love that dress! Is it Hush? I don’t suppose you know the name of the style?

I’m feeling encouraged to give jumpsuits another go too.

I think woven fabric works better. It does not seem to ‘sit’ on bulges in the same way, especially when sitting down. I’ve bought the Fat Face ones in the past but lots of the colours won’t work for me this year. It’s really frustrating! I like blouses with sleeves, as my arms get cold even in warm weather. It’s a shame because I swim a lot and they are the trimmest bit of me.

www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/embroidered-top-white/sty-t0899-wht?gclid=CjwKCAjwrfCRBhAXEiwAnkmKmfmX8o-V-sQpwKGMKxxEnudp7ItOIP7N9fyYcyq_z7SUjRQH5k0ejBoCFZgQAvD_BwE&code=J7T7&cm_mmc=pmax--Google--16273714553----&gclsrc=aw.ds&ef_id=YjzqMwAABWGduQO7:20220324220302:s

Just treated myself to this with my birthday money. I’m imagining it working with cropped jeans and loafers. The me that dues the ironing is already cursing the me that loves pretty things!

Have you looked at COS? The website is appalling but they have some lovely jumpsuits at the moment. I'm the same shape and find their clothes flattering.

That's a pretty top @LabraDabraDoo let us know if it works out but yes looks like hell to iron.