Please help! Warm weather (city break) dressing with a voluminous perimenopausal middle.

[LabraDabraDoo]

I'm 44, and have in the past couple of years developed a perimenopausal middle, which now leaves me at the larger end of size 12, at least around the middle. The rest of me is in pretty good shape, but the clothes that worked for my last city break (2019, those were the days!) look terrible. In fitted Breton T-shirts or vest tops, I'm just all middle and feel so self conscious.

We are off to Sorrento for a few days soon, and will be doing lots of walking and active visits. Dresses with a waist work well, and I've packed a couple for sunny days. I have two pairs of cropped jeans which look nice, but what can I wear on top to flatter my middle? All the shops seems to have fitted or tucked in tops, which look lovely, but aren't an option. I guess I'll also need to be able to layer whatever I choose, as it can get chilly in the evenings.

Any ideas of styles/ shops I can try would be really helpful as I'm at a bit of a loss and really want to feel like I can look nice again!

[quote missfliss]@LBFseBrom not everyone has it because everyone is different! Simple.

Everyone's hormonal profile is slightly different and it is a thing - a thickening of the waist even if you are slim.

I think I'm basically moving to dresses now.
I'm tempted by that hush dress actually too - I bought this one already [/quote]
Oh that's lovely. Which one is it?

I hate ironing so I bought one of these hand held steamers - it's a life saver on holidays, it's so good, I use it at home too - was about £20 from Amazon

@Rina66 that looks amazing. I am getting one !

@LabraDabraDoo@ChickenStripper - its called Clarice Mid Dress
I'm in a size 12 - but I am a big size 12 (14) and its roomy still

www.hush-uk.com/clarice-midi-dress-leopard-floral-navy-ecru/005252-3925.html

@missfliss i love that dress but I’m only 5’3” so would it swamp me - how tall are you?

I'm 5'6"

It'd be very easy to take up at TBH

Dry cleaners can usually do basic alterations

I just got the white top from M&S rookimere posted - it works really well. I'm about 5ft 6 and a 12 but looks good with jeans and also baggy linen trousers. (it hides my post menopausal tum very well )

@NameChangeNameShange

I just got the white top from M&S rookimere posted - it works really well. I'm about 5ft 6 and a 12 but looks good with jeans and also baggy linen trousers. (it hides my post menopausal tum very well )

I am almost exactly the same size as you but I have chubby arms as well. Love that top but fear the sleeves may be too puffy for any but the slimmest of arms?

The current milkmaid trend is not kind to me.

I don't really want jeans any more as a mainstay but would like a pair of boyfriend style ones to wear occasionally to wear with shirts

I'm a large size 12 with a size 14 middle - and at 5'6" my legs are proportionally a little short ( long torso).

Can anyone recommend any?

I'll be sadly accepting that it's time to say goodbye and sell my hush size 12 ones, the middle is just too tight now. I can do them up ok but feels all uncomfortable and creates bulges

@JanisMoplin I found it hide my upper arms, which was actually one of the reasons I like it! Because it was plain white I felt it wasn't as fusst as similar patterned one. May be worth a shot.

@LBFseBrom

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

I wonder what age you are? Do you really think any of this is ground breaking info? The whole world has been thoroughly indoctrinated with this diet culture bull, no one needs any more of it. OP asked for help with dressing her body. Read the room.

Thanks for starting this thread OP, I like lots of the suggestions. I've been wearing casual linen or cotton button up shirts with the ends knotted & half tucked. It celebrates your nice shoulders and hips/thighs and just blurs the tummy a little. It's an easy one to try because everyone has a shirt or two in their wardrobe to play around with.

Enjoy your break!!

@JanisMoplin oh god what is it with the milkmaid look? It’s everywhere! I am also struggling with my changing shape and am actually despairing trying to find anything to look nice in. It’s all puffy sleeves, frilly fronts. fussy prints - it does nothing for me. I just do not know which shops to buy any more as I don’t want cheap throw away stuff but I don’t want to look my mum either (no offence to my mum!)😩 Can anyone recommend some shops that work for our age/shape. I’m 5’3” so thats also a problem as all the nice dresses and a lot of trousers just swamp me!

@JanisMoplin inspired by this thread and the nice weather I'm wearing the M&S blue linen top today. I wouldn't say the sleeves are particularly voluminous when the top is pulled up at the shoulders.

Following!

Just ordered that Next jumpsuit thanks @ChickenStripper
I picked this dress up today and it’s lovely and flattering too.
www.next.co.uk/g641027s9/824008#824008

I have a huge bust but find off the shoulder looks ok with a normal bra if you match it, so a black bra with that dress and a navy one with that jumpsuit. Just matching straps showing.

I should stay off this thread - that dress is lovely @Bickles .

Can maybe justify it as having a big clear out of all the fitted tops that don't sit right any more.

[quote Bickles]Just ordered that Next jumpsuit thanks @ChickenStripper
I picked this dress up today and it’s lovely and flattering too.
www.next.co.uk/g641027s9/824008#824008[/quote]
Love this. Can it be worn on shoulder?

I too am having a big clear out. All the unflattering clingy thin jersey and Breton tops are going.

Also find that simple button down cotton or linen shirts hang better than tshirts. I have a couple from Esprit. Its so hot in London today that I am wearing a button down linen shirt with widelegged trousers. DH commented that it was much better than my usual Breton tops though it needed more ironing.

I would go for cotton or broderie or linen shirts/tops/blouses and dresses rather than Jersey as it will drape rather than cling.
I have some old nice sleeveless ones from seasalt but can't see anything similar on there at the minute. Thought clothing seems to do lots of nice stuff too.

It wouldn’t go on shoulder for me, it wasn’t cut right. But as I say I can make my peace with the tops of plain black bra straps showing.
It’s nice material and the elastic at the waist made it very flattering. It’s around knee length on me which is nice as a lot of dresses come up very long and it doesn’t suit me.

I have a perimenopausal middle too - I do find you can get away with some t-shirts and high waisted mom jeans/jeggings etc.

Running I found was really helping me to tone up/lose the middle plus some workouts from The Body Project (online).

I have ordered a new bikini from fantasie which is cup sized and a fold brief so plenty of coverage. A few new cotton skirts with pockets and elastic at the back of the waistband from Thought and White Stuff. Some deep V t shirts to go with from Gap.
I am nearly ready for my holidays!

www.johnlewis.com/white-stuff-fern-embroidered-skirt-multi/p5612069?size=16#product

www.johnlewis.com/hush-paisley-print-hanky-hem-mini-skirt-pink/p5616090

www.gap.co.uk/gap/100pct-organic-cotton-vintage-v-neck-t-shirt/000740140002.html?ap=7&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8skjO9e3914o666uu2VQ_pK9&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIo6zs8tHh9gIV0t_tCh05NwefEAQYASABEgIX1PD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&kwid=1&tid=gupl000238

You were after jumpsuits OP - I got this about a year ago - size down though as it's huge, the waist is elasticated and very flattering:-

www.amazon.co.uk/Peopletree-Womens-Oliana-Jumpsuit-Black/dp/B07SVZD2LV/ref=sr_1_3?hvlocphy=4923&hvnetw=o&keywords=people+tree+jumpsuit&hvadid=73873697280359&hvbmt=bp&qid=1648224330&hydadcr=22587_2171576&hvdev=c&hvqmt=p&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=kwd-73873628049184%3Aloc-188&adgrpid=1181975898287689&sr=8-3