Please help! Warm weather (city break) dressing with a voluminous perimenopausal middle.

[LabraDabraDoo]

I'm 44, and have in the past couple of years developed a perimenopausal middle, which now leaves me at the larger end of size 12, at least around the middle. The rest of me is in pretty good shape, but the clothes that worked for my last city break (2019, those were the days!) look terrible. In fitted Breton T-shirts or vest tops, I'm just all middle and feel so self conscious.

We are off to Sorrento for a few days soon, and will be doing lots of walking and active visits. Dresses with a waist work well, and I've packed a couple for sunny days. I have two pairs of cropped jeans which look nice, but what can I wear on top to flatter my middle? All the shops seems to have fitted or tucked in tops, which look lovely, but aren't an option. I guess I'll also need to be able to layer whatever I choose, as it can get chilly in the evenings.

Any ideas of styles/ shops I can try would be really helpful as I'm at a bit of a loss and really want to feel like I can look nice again!

@chocolatesaltyballs22its 2 sizes of the same one (not sure if need 14 or 12) - its this one

www.hush-uk.com/v-neck-jersey-jumpsuit-black/002446-2809-18.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwrqqSBhBbEiwAlQeqGscTfAkzxLwQUX4AqdcCva5lxRYgceAuvLch5StcjizHW2L5ZNnt9RoC94QQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#fo_c=1586&fo_k=850148ec6106280be7fc0f053910cad6&fo_s=gplauk

@missfliss lovely - I'm tempted by this one. I have the sleeveless one in two colours.

Hush jumpsuit - size 14

Size 12 also fits but less flattering

Loving this thread. I'm short and solid with big boobs and really struggle in the summer. I'm also ghost white and hate my arms. I love the pip dress but sold out except in a 10. I'd like to find some jumpsuits, I dislike anything tight around my waist these days. A couple of the hush ones look like they have potential but I'm worried they'll look a bit sack like on me.

I recently got some denim dungarees which I know are very marmite on here. I've bought a white linen shirt to go under them and will also go with just plain t shirts, probably v neck. I totally understand why people dislike them but I'm getting to my point eventually, which is that I've really started to recognise how feeling good and comfortable in something goes a long way to making me look good. I suppose it's to do with confidence and moving freely. I feel happy and comfortable wearing them and wasn't constantly tugging something up or down.

The Me+Em dress someone linked to looks fab. I can't pull off white but might try the black, I'd love if there were other colours but beggars and all that...

That's lovely on @missfliss I might order that myself. I agree that the 14 looks much better on you, its actually slimming whereas the 12 makes you look bigger. I often fall foul to ordering in my 'pre menopausal' size!! (I'm 48 and definintely experiencing the expanding middle) It looks very comfy too and could be dressed up or down with footwear & jewellery.

Thanks @LifeInAHamsterWheel - I'm still a bit unsure - going to try again tomorrow with trainers and a jacket too - agree that the more generous fit on the 14 is better - it's a little gaping around the neckline but jo hum. Going to try abs find a funky set of long beads to zhoosh it up a bit too.

What's the calf width like on that, @missfliss? I liked it online but was worried the bottom half would be a bit jodhpur-esque with my chunky lower legs.

@FolornLawn calf width is fine ( I think?) my calves are quite average

I have the Bay dress in a 14 and it's much better than the 12 was

Also - tried jumpsuit with jackets and kimono today - happy !

[quote missfliss]@FolornLawn calf width is fine ( I think?) my calves are quite average

I have the Bay dress in a 14 and it's much better than the 12 was [/quote]
I'm wearing mine tonight in Tenerife. Tis v comfy

Coming back to this thread to say you look great in that jumpsuit @missfliss, especially with the kimono.

I went to a professional event yesterday and thought I looked ok in a dark printed dress similar to that Hush dress. But in the photos I look huge, and frumpy:(

I think I should copy a friend who has a uniform for events. She wears a black top, black trousers, a colourful jacket or stole and a large piece of statement jewellery to distract from her middle. Never varies this uniform . I just think I would get bored wearing black all the time though, plus jackets make me overheated.

I bet you looked much nicer than you feel you did @JanisMoplin.

I can recommend these kimonos actually as they are not hot at all - very lightweight viscose / cotton

https://onehundredstars.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2v6s0f79gIVBuvtCh2nzgB8EAAYASAAEgLlRPDD_BwE

Oh those look lovely and just my style. I love a bit of colour over black. Thank you!

Welcome - I love mine - it's one of the 'kew gardens' ones

To those of you who bought the Clarice dress from hush- what’s the print like? There’s a pretty damning review saying it looks nothing like the photo

mine looks exactly like the photo -what an odd comment from someone

@JustforToast yes it does. Maybe a bit more red than the first Hush photo indicates. But it’s a lovely print and colour. I actually decided to keep mine in the end!

If it's going to be really hot, I'd go for tummy skimming linen dresses. In hot weather I find elastic around the waist uncomfortable. Seasalt and Woolovers have some simple shapes that are flattering. Otherwise, loose trousers, there are plenty of linen ones with drawstring waist around and loose linen or cotton shirts. White Stuff have some pretty ones or, if you want to push the boat out, Poetry or Wrap.

@LBFseBrom

I've never heard of a perimenopausal middle - is that the same as 'middle aged spread'? It is possible to lose it, you know. A little change in diet and exercise could make the world of difference to how you feel and look. You are still quite young too! I never even thought about perimenopause at 44 and when I did reach it, I was slim and fit.

It's easy to be stuck in a rut, entrenched in a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Make up your mind to be well and fit, there are plenty of exercises you can do at home; walk instead of getting a 'bus, cut down on unhealthy foods (you don't have to give everything up). Take some vitamin and mineral supplements - Osteocare is very good. You'll be amazed at the difference in just a few weeks and you'll feel so much more confident.

How I laughed

eat 800 calories a day
exercice regularly
active job

underweight for most of my life but since menopause overweight

What do you (sanctimonious self defined expert) suggest?

@IDontHaveAnOutingHobby hear hear. 5/6 gym visits a week here (and no, I don't just sit in the jacuzzi). Still can't shift the bastard weight.

@chocolatesaltyballs22 @IDontHaveAnOutingHobby Me too. Pilates x 3-4 per week, careful with diet, weights and walking but still look like a teletubby. Thanks for a great thread - I used to love Bravissimo clothes for this but sadly quality went down hill over the last few years before they stopped selling them

[quote rookiemere]@missfliss I have to say that either you haven't got much of a peri menopausal middle, or that dress and those jeans are doing a fantastic job ![/quote]
@rookiemere that's exactly what I thought. They look really great on you @missfliss
Also love the bonus cat photo

@Magnificentbeast very kind of you to say. I can promise that whilst no means enormous the right clothes make a big old difference. What I have learned is that hiding the tum by covering flat cloth over is actually less flattering than creating a waist !

Totally agree @missfliss, also creating a waist is just uncomfortable. Skimming over is definitely the way forwards, especially if it's a drapey almost springy fabric. Jackets that may not do up but fit shoulders, arms etc look far better and give you a shape.