How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

It’s been said on an earlier post but since lockdown I’ve loved watching Trinny’s Instagram and YouTube posts. She gives great advice on beauty products to suit all budgets ( including Boots, Body Shop and my new favourite Beauty Pie which sells at much reduced prices) and fashion ideas to flatter different body shapes and budgets. I bought a few Zara sale Items she recommended - expected big returns parcel but for first time ever I’m keeping the lot. Start following a few older beauty and fashion bloggers on Instagram like Kat Farmer and you’ll get lots of ideas but don’t get hung up on your changing shape. Most women put on weight around the middle as they hit 40-50 so work to highlight your best features instead. You don’t need to resort to Botox - have a go at Trinny’s facial exercises instead (they’ll make you laugh if nothing else) and get into a good skincare routine, there are loads of super products out there to make your skin glow and feel happier with yourself.

If you're on FB or YouTube look up Trinny's Closet Confessions.

She's brilliant and has totally changed my outlook on fashion is my 40's.

She talks about shopping for your height, body shape and colouring (hair/eyes) and I'm just inspired watching her. Not everything will apply to you but her the jist then clear out your wardrobes and cupboards, keep what's worth having but you need a fresh perspective and she will give you that.

@cherish123 no I’m naturally curly! The wave is all natural so I was trying to embrace them and get my hair in better condition.

@Remainanonymous2 sorry you think I’m attention seeking, I’ve never said I’m overweight I’ve said I have a tummy pouch- not the same thing at all! It’s just that my clothes feel a bit staid and this thread has got me thinking of how to change that! I’m very lucky that I’m naturally this shape but I don’t really have a waist and that can give me what I feel is a slightly dated look. I need to find clothes that flatter me!

@terralee Clara A is very young - 20s I think. FWIW I love GANNI and theres lots on sale now - the ganni site and especially coggles and Net-a-Porter and Liberty . I've bought one or two things at half price as full price IS too much for me.

Actually - I'm wrong about that - she's 36. I assumed given she does quite youth orientated programmes.

Great advice here ladies. I'm 49 and feel the best ever. Decent haircut and highlights.
Manicures and some expensive boden wear. Good skincare. Daily yoga and pilates. Running whenever I can.
No way I look or feel on the edge of 50.
New lover loads of shagging which if helps

Don't try too hard, is my advice!! Approaching my 50's I've started wearing more simple clothes, better quality - e.g.skinny jeans, white t shirt, grey linen cardigan....ok, sounds boring, but then jazzed up with a pair of cool trainers in a bright colour. Alternatively, a colourful scarf. I don't have a lot of money but buy from Fat Face, Boden etc, often on eBay. Definitely look after skin, hair etc too!

Brilliant!!!!😁

Totally disagree about botox, fillers (or any other work) and expensive clothes. Good fitting clothes that flatter your shape is more important than how much more you spend.

You are literally me - but I’m two stone heavier. Argh!

Well, what an intriguing thread! There are some interesting opinions here. After reading it last night, I wondered if I should get rid of most of my wardrobe, but on opening it this morning have come to the conclusion that I’m definitely not going to that.

I’m sure that many would be horrified at my favoured style: there’s more than a hint of Lucy Worsley in there (for the record, I think she’s fabulous); as much pattern as Anna Wintour’s wardrobe (though at a much cheaper cost); lots of small floral print - the list goes on and on...!

I feel wonderful in my vintage frocks and carefully selected charity shop buys, and I feel great in dungarees. I’m trying, too, to support slow fashion. I’m aware that I know what shapes suit my body and accentuate my best bits. I have a few fashionable bits but really am not hugely interested in being of the moment, fashion-wise.

I am lucky that lots of people seem to love what I wear. However, if people don’t like it, I don’t think I’m terribly bothered. Each to their own. I know people who look incredible in things that would look terrible on me. I’d be much more upset if someone were to challenge my integrity or values.

Just in case it’s of any interest, I’ve been dance trained and think that it affects the way I stand and move. I’m in my mid-thirties and am a Mum of two very little people. I have long hair which has always been a feature but am going to go short soon - for me and for a change. 😊

OP - you have a great figure and I think your hair suits being curly.

Happy weekend all - will continue to follow this thread with interest! x

@IsolatedIzzy

Weight I think is a big player, I've put a lot of weight on and I think that makes me look more middle aged!

And hair - I've always had a lot of quite messy, longish rock chic hair, fine when you're 30!

All of a sudden rock chic has gone and fat middle aged woman with messy hair appeared!! I had it cut into a medium choppy bob, at least it has some shape to it! I wish the fat bit was so easy to fix! ☹️

Yes, this is exactly me! I used to be rather cool and rock chick-esque. Now I’m just a fat version of my former self. But not cool. And very frumpy. It’s hard to change my mindset around to sorting myself out!

@cherish123 that's not me in the photos!

@dkl55 I did wonder if Clara Amfo was quite young given her job, but I like the clothes she's wearing in the feature despite our difference in ages. I'm actually rubbish at guessing ages anyway.
Thanks for the ideas for getting Ganni at cheaper prices.

Sunnydays - if you are still around. Last night was the introduction to weights - it went quite well. Today felt as expected but then I walked the dog and found my buttocks had tightened so much I could barely throw the ball. The indirect consequence of my new regime appears to be that I look like a person whose age or weight means they can no longer reach their own feet. This better be a short term consequence.

Fantastic thread. I’m 43 and definitely feel so so frumpy - I’ve got 2 young children so a lot of mine is sheer exhaustion at the moment!

But I’ve really thrown myself in to my skincare - been following Caroline Hirons and I absolutely love Sali Hughes - so actually feeling better about my skincare and getting there with my make up. So much advice on their respective Facebook groups

For me, it’s my clothes. I’m only 5 ft and a size 14, so really bloody struggle with clothes. Lots of recommendations for & other stories as well so may look at them. I had my colours done by Styled By Susie which has really helped. Unfortunately SBS tends to only recommend shops like New Look, Dorothy Perkins and Next and as mentioned re supermarket clothes, cheaper clothes when you are a bit heavier and a bit older do look cheap and a bit nasty.

I also need to shift my arse and start getting some more exercise, if even only just walking and drinking more water. And I can’t wait for the hairdressers to open!

But really really useful thread - thank you to everyone who is contributing. I agree S&B threads don’t tend to go that far and this one really has

Is that you MaryST7? Love that look.

Helen Ozark looks good but it's not an everyday look, for me anyway. The website and IG recommendations are great.

I had a green peel and lost over 5 years from my face. Wrinkles that went have still not come back over 10 years later.

I'm torn between jotting down all the tips and wanting to wear a Gudrun Sjoden outfit complete with floor length smock.

Its such a load of effort, isn't it? Why bother? The feminist in me wants to scream out at the injustice of "invisible" middle aged/old women.

I am tempted to just go with it and dress 20 years older than I am. Get it over with.

The feminist in me wants to scream out at the injustice of "invisible" middle aged/old women.

Why? Are Middle aged men less invisible?

It’s a very, very rare middle aged man you’d look at twice.

Clockonmantlepiece Would appreciate advice on cool shops, I am rubbish at finding the right places to shop. Thanks

Once lockdown is over go to a really good salon and get yourself an appointment with consultation for a new look.

If you dont want to wait you can find virtual websites where you can add your picture too and try different styles virtually so you know what you want when you go to the hairdressers

Make up wise I would have said go to somewhere like Boots, John Lewis etc and get a make up makeover which is free if you buy some of their products.

Though I am sure you can get a virtual makeup overview by uploading a recent picture

You need a good cleanser, toner, day, night and eye moisturisers. I also do a weekly face mask/peelMy favourite skin products are Dermalogica.

Have a good look at your wardrobe to, get rid of what you dont wear using the 1 year rule. Start using Google to look at the changes you can make. Many websites have virtual changing rooms you can try on pictures with clothes of on yourself

Its exciting time for you so use it. Your worth it

I religiously put fake tan on my face twice a week before bed. I think having some colour definitely makes me look younger and prettier. I am 46 and shop mainly in Zara, River Island, Oasis and H&M. I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes but I do follow trends (which I only adopt if they flatter me) and I enjoy accessorising with earrings and necklaces (one or the other and never matching). I agree that a hairdresser could give your hair a glossier look with a warmer colour. Your figure is amazing and you could get away with much trendier clothes. Maybe use a stylist service in a department store when they re-open to try some different looks. I just think your tops are too bland and generic, it is just a matter of going into some shops and trying on things you wouldn’t normally and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Because middle aged men aren't judged on their looks, that's why, they're rated for their ability.

Botox and fillers!! god no!! What is the world coming to.