How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

I'm mid 50s and the expression ' stout' came to mind when I tried an old summer frock on ( more like a ' fright ' than a frock!)

@famousforwrongreason, so flattered you like the idea. It came from a little boutique in my small local town, but she buys incredibly well and never very expensive stuff. The rainbow stripe is sold out, but the next, current version is lurex camo, and they are lovely too. Start here

@The80sweregreat

I'm mid 50s and the expression ' stout' came to mind when I tried an old summer frock on ( more like a ' fright ' than a frock!)

'barrel shaped' came to mind last night when I was dressing up for my first social outing since February

[quote XingMing]@famousforwrongreason, so flattered you like the idea. It came from a little boutique in my small local town, but she buys incredibly well and never very expensive stuff. The rainbow stripe is sold out, but the next, current version is lurex camo, and they are lovely too. Start here[/quote]
Ooh that shop looks great! Luxe camo eh? Will be nice to be ahead of the game!
I have ordered some rainbow straps from ebay this morning and am looking forward to customising a few bits
I love repurposing and adapting so this is perfect for me

the dreaded mutton dressed as lamb

I'm 53. My take on that is that I'd rather be mutton dressed as lamb – not a phrase that I'd use by the way – than mutton dressed as mutton. I'm not particularly up for 'ageing gracefully': there seem to be plenty of others willingly embracing that.

If the world doesn't like it, it can avert its gaze until I've waked by

I'm 63, so well past any delusions of youthfulness. I wear my life on my face, but remain a similar size and shape to my younger self. I still love fashion and clothes. I buy clothes and accessories for my life and my body as it is now. Ageing stylishly (rather than gracefully) is exactly my objective.

I avoid mirrors mostly, so when I do see myself in one it's awful!
I am indeed ' barrel shaped' !
Clothes rarely suit me. I actually hate clothes.

@The80sweregreat

I avoid mirrors mostly, so when I do see myself in one it's awful! I am indeed ' barrel shaped' ! Clothes rarely suit me. I actually hate clothes.

Oh love, that's sad. It sounds like you could do with a huge confidence boost. Sorry that sounds patronising. Maybe you need to get more friendly with your reflection... Perhaps if you saw it more regularly it wouldn't be such a shock. I am definitely barrel shaped but I still love clothes and dressing up. I have moments of sadness that I don't have the body of my youth, but I have to accept I'm nearly fifty with mobility issues and mental health stuff, single parenting, working etc. I'm just going to have to change my expectations for how I planned / hoped to look at this age.

I'm also not aging that well and look a bit haggard.

@The80sweregreat

I'm also not aging that well and look a bit haggard.

Same. Honestly, my accidental selfies are horrifying. Or the ones where my kids take my photo without me rearranging my face first I will never be able to afford botox or its upkeep and disability means I can't always be arsed to keep up with grooming. I have visible grey roots, frizz galore, puffy eyelid, deep lines in my forehead, droopy jowls, my teeth are discoloured and, a recent event, my jawline is changing and now my once beautiful white smile is now greying and my bottom teeth have become a garbled mess, no longer straight, really gnarly, apparently its yet another joy of ageing but I hate it. the list is endless but when I am happy and feeling good none of those things have much impact. When my ex was going behind my back with younger more beautiful women it had a massive impact on my self esteem and the self talk was awful, so full of hatred, it made me so miserable. I'm rid of him now and working really hard on my self image My friend took a vid of me yesterday in the sun. She showed it to me on her phone and asked iif I was happy with it before she posted it online, I could barely see the phone as it was so sunny but it looked pretty innocuous so she posted it. I saw it this morning and and it's not flattering, I didn't get a chance to arrange how I was sitting so alll my most hated body parts are on display and my face was in non pose mode so I look like a puffer fish. I had a mini freak out annd then thought, fuck it, I'm always talking about being real and authentic, I can't be rearranging my face and body 24/7. Ill never have the body I had at 17, people see me all the time, in various guises and outfits, school run horror, going out for the night dressed up, at home no make up etc, beach letting it all hang out and they already know what I look like. I already know what I look like. Not many people look as good as their soc media pics. I won't use filters as ii don't want to scare people when thry see me irl although I do try and only present my 'best' side But fuck it!

To be fair, I've never been a looker : I was thinner in my 30s for a while then it just piled on after children etc. The menopause has played havoc too. It's all quite depressing , but we have to soldier on.
I wished I could find clothes that flatter me more!

@The80sweregreat

To be fair, I've never been a looker : I was thinner in my 30s for a while then it just piled on after children etc. The menopause has played havoc too. It's all quite depressing , but we have to soldier on. I wished I could find clothes that flatter me more!

The effing menopause. When I was young I thought we would just get very hot sometimes and then our periods would stop. I didn't realise it'd change my whole bloody physiology including the shape of my flipping jawline. Ffs. It sounds like you do really want to do something about clothes tho.... Would you ever consider hiring someone to help you assess your shape and help you adapt your personal style to find some different looks to help you hate mirrors less? I did it after having babies (long story), I was richer then as still married but the advice I was given transformed my wardrobe. I don't stick rigidly to the rules anymore but I can spot straight away when I've done something that is less than flattering, whereas before I wouldn't have had a clue. Or if you felt brave enough to you could use this forum, send some headless body shots to the page and let the style 'experts' have a look? Are there any clothes at all that make you feel good? Personally, as someone who is barrel shaped, I find anything with a very defined waistband very unflattering and find dresses or dungas easiest of all. Not actual muumuus but something that skims over the belly rather than highlight it. Dresses are fab because you don't have to worry about matching stuff up and there's no break in the middle so the eye isn't automatically drawn to the tummy. I love wearing jeans but if I do I wear a p which is loose around the waist. You can get lovely cami style tops and wear with a fiited but loose - ish casual blazer.

Any make-up tips? Im approaching 48 and struggling with all the 'new' make-up. Primer, concealer, foundation, then the 'sculpting thing' - never used to worry about make-up. Slap it on and go was my motto.

Thank you for the code @lockdownalli for Stitch fix, just ordered for the first time. Feeling a bit meh about my clothes!!!

@MRSRUDEBOX a lot of decent make up is down to skin care - if your skin is hydrated then it all looks better. Primer does help your base sit better.

I follow Hannah Martin on Instagram, she’s got 2 young children so I find her a bit more relatable than a lot of make up artists so she’s worth looking at

A little cleavage makes a huge difference.

@MRSRUDEBOX I apply Primer to my forehead, under my eyes, nose & chin mostly - after applying my serum & moisturiser.

Primer can blur pores, take down shine & even out the complexion.
Sometimes I like to wear just primer with no foundation over the top.

Useful tips here. Following!