How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

@Terralee 🤣. Perhaps I should not skim read.

Loving Emilia Fox’s outfits on Celebrity Gogglebox!

Seriously? I’m shallow as a puddle, I judge them on looks. I don’t believe any woman who says she doesn’t take looks into account.

Hello I’m late to the party here😄 I’m 41 and like to think I have good style etc, it helps having a daughter 23 who is highly into fashion,the advice I would give is to buy expensive brands but second hand, I love Sandro which is a french brand so tend to size up and only buy my tops or dresses from there, I use Depop the second hand shopping app (no not just for the 20 yr olds ) I have found countless bargains on there,Topshop also has really nice shirts buy one patterned and one white linen if possible, I find the Topshop Jamie jeans are the only jeans I’ve ever loved! I am also the same height and exact weight you are I wear a 30x32 in the Jamie style,my staple is a stripe cotton top from jigsaw jeans and flat velvet pumps from Zara, don’t underestimate Zara they have lovely items too. For make up I use urban decay, loose powder and blusher minimal eyeliner and better than sex mascara ! Estée Lauder sumptuous mascara is better though,for summer a nice coral lip looks youthful not forgetting the eyebrows, mine have never been great since I plucked them all away in the 90’s haha, I use collection brow pencil it’s about £3 but Botox I haven’t yet tried as not keen but I do moisturise and at the moment love olays, I change it up regularly I’m 41 but hope I don’t look it 😝🤔 oh and jewellery, a nice long necklace with a casual top always looks great add a few thin bangles too

@Justtakeatowel I'm no expert but have had a good look at the photos of yourself you posted. You have a really good, athletic looking figure.

I feel that there is a plainness to your look (rather than frumpiness) mainly caused by lack of accessories. In the first pic in shorts, you seem to have no earrings /necklace /bracelets /belt/ nice watch visible. And the same in the other two. A few accessories (as dainty/bold as you choose) inc nice bag/footwear would reduce the functional feel to the clothes and make them look more like outfits, if that makes sense. Also an extra layer (such as a very thin shirt left open over your vest top with shorts) can reduce the 'Got up this morning. Put on a top and bottoms and am dressed for the day' functional feel to an outfit. I know whereof I speak.

Also, and I don't know how possible this is, but a haircut that would make your hair fuller would also look more stylish IMVHO.

I’m really really late to this thread but wanted to share something I learned a few years ago. At the time my boss was pretty, slim and probably in her mid forties. She dressed ok but then got a personal stylist. Once a season they went on a shopping trip and she bought a few really nice pieces which worked together, plus new shoes and a new bag. She then wore those clothes a lot for a few months before the next shopping trip, when she would get a new wardrobe for that season (but not that many clothes). I have a lot of clothes but I tend not to wear each one be very often, so it’s not on trend or looks a bit rubbish long before it wears out. She was the opposite and it meant she always looked modern. I know it’s not very sustainable but it was effective!

Because middle aged men aren't judged on their looks, that's why, they're rated for their ability.

Nonsense!

@mabelmoo mentioned Styled by Susie. I can recommend them as well and had my analysis done. Their ethos is to buy clothes that suit your style and colours, and they consider your personality as well, such as edgy, Parisian etc. I found it has helped me Buy clothes that suit me, and I’ve had a lot more compliments since .

@Ginfordinner yes it was you! I do feel your pain!
For me investing in some stylish eyewear with specialist lenses was a gamechanger :)
If you can get to Manchester I 100% recommend Seen.

@candilemon

A chic look:

Good grief, you would get the side-eye for being a frumpy cliché here with that get-up.

@ittakes2
Green peel...you say?
Where... when ….how much....how old were you???!

Love it.

Your age has nothing to do with it
Also Botox & fillers????
Really... I'm sure a minority feel the above is needed however keeping them topped costs money!!!
Also expensive clothes? Again not always necessary
Skin care - Start there if your going spend some money, there is so much out there that improves the look texture etc... Also drink lots of water daily as believe me it really does help aid moisture back in to the skin especially the face.
Hair - If it's not doing what you want change it & colour it.
Clothes - Not all supermarket clothes age you. Again it's what you wear, match it with. In my wardrobe I have George up to Channel, cheap high street to High end boutique.
I get my nails & brows done regularly, workout daily to maintain my look.
I've had no Botox/fillers/surgery or anything and do get told that I do not look my age which is 45.
I find clothes that work for me & that's what you can do. New look, Boohoo, nastygirl, pretty little thing.com.
Also look at the celebrities who are classed as middle aged - yes some may or may not of had work done - but more for their fashion sense. Regardless of their age they find combos that work & go with it. You also can defo do that

The best way not to look middle aged is not to seem to try too hard.
Buying expensive clothes , getting nails done , heels etc - cute and sexy when you’re young - look matronly when you’re older . Go for funky rather than classics . 50’s style looks good and plain white shirts and denim too ....bit of lippy and shorter hair and then relax and be happy . 🤩

Start from the inside. Get good support underwear, no cheap bras and certainly no e from supermarket or department store own brands. Half the time frumpy is partly due to bad underwear and poor posture. Invest in a few good key pieces in a colour capsule and then add to these with mid price tops and accessories. Buy really good shoes and handbags. It's about the overall look. Get a good haircut, book a makeup appointment to update your look. Look after your skin both outwardly via facials, good serums etc and inwardly via diet and supplements. Take up Pilates or Yoga to help with posture. Always stand tall , you'll look thinner instantly. Fillers, Botox etc can help but once you start, it's a slippery slope. By diet, exercise and attitude, you can achieve lots.

I disagree with everyone saying be slim.Im fat and I am 40 and Iv been ID recently before lock down a few times.Buying alcohol and scratch cards at different shops.They thought I wasn’t 25.I think it’s having a bit of fat in the face keeps you youthful !
I dress still in Bohoo,ASOS,pink cloves etc.I don’t follow fashion but I wear what suits my big boobs big belly style.Iv recently gone for a more lighter hair colour.Try some good face cream and eye cream.Fake tan.I have also had my eyebrows microbladed very natural and I think that helps.Fresh make up I don’t ever wear foundation but a light concelor and blusher

Not ness aril you looking younger maybe more stylish and fresh..
Go to a new hairdressers for a fresh style that suits your age, head and face shape
Look for fitting clothes always look nicer even if you have curves,, expensive more stylish and colours.
Is your hair coloured?
Nice accessories than cheap quality
Do not use Botox everyone has the same looking features it's horrendous, age gracefully not plastic
Better yet go into a clothing store and ask for some advice or look online for ideas.

I disagree with everyone saying be slim.Im fat and I am 40 and Iv been ID recently before lock down a few times.Buying alcohol and scratch cards at different shops.

I doubt any 40 year old would be mistaken for a teenager. Lots of people get asked for ID who are clearly not teenagers. If you are happy with your appearance that's all that matters.

Zara some ethnicities look younger like black and asian. When you say fat do you mean like fat in your own eyes and actually a size 12 or 14uk ?

I have to agree that that is something that has been posted many times - be slim ! As Eamon Holmes says "there's no wrinkles on a balloon". The oldest looking women I know and see are ones who are too thin in their faces , have smoked a lot and have those mouth wrinkles and have drank too much alcohol over the years .
The other thing that has made me eye roll here are all the 40s saying they will never have botox or fillers . When I was in my 40s this didn't even enter my head as your face is still young ! You have no idea what it's going to be like later on . It's like when our 22 year old zumba teacher thinks that exercise will mean you never get bingo wings - she hasn't a clue what ageing does to the body!

Zara some ethnicities look younger like black and asian.

I know. I have black and Asian friends in their late 30's/early 40's who look great. None of them look like teenagers.

Thestuffedpenguin I agree re Botox etc. I'm 54 and until a couple of years ago I would say I looked mid 40s. Then wham, suddenly I look 54. And that's ok. It's easy to say you won't consider it when you don't need it. I have a tiny bit of Botox and I still look 54, but a bit less tired.

Get your colours done, it's so worth the money because you never buy anything that doesn't suit you again. Some of them also do style consultations so you know what suits your body shape. Honestly it's a game changer no matter what size you are.

Alastria - have you tried calorie counting. Limiting myself to 1400 calories a day has been really effective for me. Weight loss is 80% what we eat and 20% what we do

Regarding the weight (not you for sure OP!) I think if you are naturally bigger, I have a few tall, plus size friends and they haven't aged from 35-45 but for me I have a very slight frame so the extra stone I have has definitely aged me and frumped me up so it's different for everyone.