How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

All of a sudden rock chic has gone and fat middle aged woman with messy hair appeared!!

this is me too... I used to think I looked great, now I’m just a mess

I go clothes shopping with my friend who is 30. No chance of veering into La Frumpzone aka Fat Face/White Stuff/Clark's

I also buy less, but buy better. I reduced my work clothes palette to grey/black/navy white with good shoes or white trainers. Iron everything. It does matter.

Spend the most you can afford on your hair.

Buy a really good mascara and use it all the time.

I go clothes shopping with my friend who is 30. No chance of veering into La Frumpzone aka Fat Face/White Stuff/Clark's

Keeping an eye on what the younger women are wearing at work is also good. (If you are still going into an office of course )

Also yes to channeling Helen from Ozark. It's a fine line between killer fash and just killer isn't it

I’m mid fifties and overweight but don’t feel frumpy. I don’t wear heels, or expensive clothes. What I do like is colour. I wear leggings with long tops and decent flat ankle boots or mules. I think Botox and fillers make everyone look the same, and to be honest, a bit weird. Stepford wives 🥺

Act energetic: it may be exhausting, but folks will admire your stamina, and be astonished at learning your actual age. Works for me, 60+, mistaken for 10+ years younger (although I do need an hour's kip after lunch)

OMG are you asking how you can be beautiful again? You are still beautiful. Play the music you played when you were how you imagine you at your best and sing.xxxxx

You look like you're a good shape...I'm mid forties, tend to wear expensive trainers, skinny jeans from anywhere (m&s or Primark), then tops from Tommy Hilfiger or ted baker...fake tan, hair dyed, Botox (I don't do fillers though, I don't like the way they look)...if not wearing jeans I wear a floaty dress with trainers, I've given up on heels, unless the occasion really calls for it... casual gear is mostly Abercrombie for me

You say you've started to curl it and you think it ages you. Don't curl it. Presumably your hair is naturally straight. How long is it? Could you tie it up? Curly hair is difficult to look after. You are right - curling can age you.

Just seen your picture. You look fine to me. Obviously I can't see your face but your hair is nice and you look slim.

This has made me so depressed

5 ft 7 and 9 st 9.....get a grip....I'd love ti be that....sounds like attention seeking to me...

I don't think you look either old or grumpy from your pictures op!

I'm still wearing clothes I wore in my 20's, right now pale denim ripped jeans shorts, and a bright blue strappy vest top with flip flops. I feel young inside and I'm cool with that! You seem to be wearing classic clothes (navy and white strips) and that's ageless!

Eat lots of fruit and veg. I am mid 50s and have good skin with very few wrinkles. I am overweight though.
Have a Colour Me Beautiful consultation to find out what colours and styles work for you. You save the value of the consultation as many of your clothes will then mix and match as you buy the best colours for you. I have done this for both my DS as they got to the age of 18 so that they feel confident and look good in both their personal and professional lives.

I do not mind being a 'graceful and elegant' middle aged woman but I am definitely feeling frumpy lately with my lockdown locks and ungroomed face. I'm mid-late 40s. I've always been a low maintenance kinda girl.

Hair - made a decision to go grey a couple of years ago as I thought nothing was more ageing or depressing than dyed hair with grey roots. It felt liberating at the time, I'm lucky its quite a nice silver that gets lots of compliments, but needs a really good regular cut to stop me feeling about 70. Currently its a fluffy mullety mess, worse that Boris's - I look about 80. WHEN WILL THE GOVERNMENT REALISE HAIRDRESSERS ARE AN ESSENTIAL SERVICE!

Face - wrinkles seem to be appearing daily, especially those ones between the eyes that make me look like I have permanent resting bitch face - with all the zooming I have realised how frowny I am! When the salons open I want to treat myself to a really good facial. I can't face botox and hate that stretched stiff forehead look of middle aged stars, so will have to live with the wrinkles and try to smile more. I also find having well groomed eyebrows helps - DD14 has stolen my tweezers and will not return them - she has horrid over plucked eyebrows and I now have hairy caterpillars and (shock horror) odd hairs appearing on my chin.

Clothes - I try to dress appropriately in the best clothes I can afford - I like Cos, Other Stories, Whistles and Toast in the sale. I love nice well made boots/shoes but don't do heels any more except for parties. I like good bags and jewellery too.

Exercise - makes you feel better about yourself, and hopefully look better, improves health. No brainer really, so wish I could commit to doing it more often!

I don't see why actual weight comes into it as there are plenty of women of all ages at different sizes and shapes. Being healthy and feeling good about yourself and projecting a self confidence makes more of a difference I think.

Health and fitness are key. Spend some money on your self care. You deserve it. I was on WW and lost 61 pounds. When I look at before and after pictures, I am stunned at how old I looked. I will be 50 soon-I look younger now. I was in my 40s at the start of my weight loss journey. I got a peloton because I got bored with my old workout routine. I’m on it daily. Get your hair done. Wear good makeup. I love MAC. Neutral makeup to even out the skin tone if need be. New clothes too ❤️❤️❤️

I am the same height and wish I weighed that, I'd look emaciated!

Regarding clothes I've been looking for pictures of women dressed in clothing id wear as 43 yr old me.

Grazia features DJ Clara Amfo.
I don't know what age she is but I have a similar figure & I would wear these clothes..

Dress in 1st pic is from Topshop.

In 2nd pic she's wearing shorts with a pretty checked summer top from Ganni.
I like a lot of Ganni pieces but it's out of my budget so I tend to look for similar but cheaper.

Just wanna say, I'm 25 and would kill to have your body! I'm 5'7 and 14stone. Very overweight 😫 literally don't know how to lose it. Got a physical disability that makes exercise very painful, even a gentle walk hurts my joints 😭

Hi, I feel your pain I’m 48 and since lockdown I’m really noticing my flaws and need an overhaul, but I have to say from what I see in your pics, you look great and have plenty of good attributes to work with

This is so sad, along with many of the comments. Wear what you are comfortable in, be healthy, happy and fuck beauty standards.

@Alastria maybe try Slimming World? My Uncle has Parkinson's & was very disabled but lost lots of weight just through the diet.
He still got to eat treats too.
He actually got some movement back after he lost weight.

I prefer to count calories and I find the weight does come off without exercise this way too but a lot more slowly.

@Clockonmantlepiece

Unfortunately you are going to need to spend more money. Much more. I went through this too. It's like a taboo / secret that no other woman will tell you but it's quite simple, and they all do it, then lie about it.

Buy more expensive clothes from cool shops.
Do not shop for clothes in supermarkets.
Have expensive haircut. Keep it maintained.
Have botox. This is important.
Optional - Have fillers.
Wear heels. Watch youtube video on styling and copy them.
Have nails and eyebrows done professionally in 'natural' (ha!) beauty style.
Keep fit - optional
I'm not sure about face cream. I think its a myth.

I know you'll think the above is ridiculous and not for you.
The secret is, it can all be done so subtly, that 'maybe she's born with it'. (Like fuck she is!). They perpetrate the myth that the above is only for barbie / Katie price types. They are lying. Above is most often just done to a 'naturally healthy' stage to eliminate frumpiness.

Gosh, that sounds a bit depressing! Especially the botox. I'd say have more sex, much much more...you would not believe how much more luminous you are going to look!

@Terralee - you look very young.

Yeah I've heard good things about slimming world! I think it's probably time I give it a go! Thanks x