How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

Not overly long, though.

Some women look great with short hair. Not all do though. The point is that it’s a very old fashioned attitude to assume that every female over the age of 40 should cut their hair short. Just because they are 40.

@Floisme

There are some thoughtful comments on this thread but a lot of ignorance and prejudice too. I see we've even got the mother-in-law memes coming out now.

Incidentally many middle aged women get their hair cut short because it thins out post menopause.

That's why I keep my hair short. It is wavy and is much thinner than it used to be. My lockdown hair just looks awful and really frumpy. I have to tame it with straighteners to not look frumpy and it can't be good for it.

I think frumpy means different things to different people. I often frequent threads on summer sandals, and I invariably find that the sandals that everyone loves are ones that I think look really frumpy, and the ones I like they all think are frumpy.

You can't win.

For what it's worth, I dom't think the OP looks frumpy in any of her pictures.

I seem to have used the F word rather a lot in this post.

@Sunnydays123456

I don’t think Kate Moss has aged that well tbh

Victoria Beckham and Liz Hurley look bloody amazing !

Kate Moss is fabulous- I’ll hear nothing against her! 😱 Not that I think any of those three are au natural 😁 although why should they be? No judgement here.

Yes. Thought that theory disappeared long ago. Longer hair is softer and prettier.

For some people, not everyone! I'm someone who has always looked better with short hair although it has been long too. Not all short haircuts are butch or harsh or unflattering fgs!

As has already been stated on this thread, the key is finding a good hairdresser who understands how to give you a haircut that works for your hair and you.

God this thread is getting bitchy! Why do we need to pull others down?

@candilemon

I think Kate Moss’s lifestyle is showing in her face. She has a hard look in recent photos. Her face is puffy and suspiciously smooth.

This is just unnecessary 🤷‍♀️

Yes let’s please not pull women down. Let’s raise ourselves up!

Blatant placemark to read later. I was eating very healthily, lots of exercise and yoga and I felt great in March. Now I feel a frumpy fat blob.

No MIL memes, just a genuine comment on my MIL who things long hair is a massive no no after a certain age. Her prejudice not mine surely?! Of course short hair gorgeous on some.

@Littlepurpleflower

Blatant placemark to read later. I was eating very healthily, lots of exercise and yoga and I felt great in March. Now I feel a frumpy fat blob.

I bet you’re not. Maybe just try to do one nice thing a day for you? Even just hand cream/body lotion/drink plenty of water.

This lockdown has been hard. I’ve actually lost weight but I think that’s due to stress/anxiety and I don’t look better for it. Just more tired!

That's a good idea Railing. Sometimes I actually write down 'drink two litres of water', '10k steps' etc at start of day for a goal! I agree also ré body moisturiser, I've made this a habit and it gives a boost. I hadn't done that previously. I also have a tinted spf that is working well to pick me up without massive effort.

@Heygirlheyboy

That's a good idea Railing. Sometimes I actually write down 'drink two litres of water', '10k steps' etc at start of day for a goal! I agree also ré body moisturiser, I've made this a habit and it gives a boost. I hadn't done that previously. I also have a tinted spf that is working well to pick me up without massive effort.

Another tip that I took from here was how things feel. Choose comfortable, luxurious fabrics (cashmere/silk if you can afford it), body lotion, perfume and light candles. I never use my nice candles unless we have guests but I’m going to start doing it just for me as I’m working. The idea is to pamper your senses, in a way I suppose.

Yes I agree. I got a gorgeous cacao body scrub and a lemon bodywash, a bit pricey but a treat built into my day.

The stripey jumper is a good look on you.
I am interested to see what people post on this thread.

I think changing your hairstyle regularly keeps everyone guessing your age. Maintaining the style you had in your 20s immediately dates you. I have a brilliant stylist who I’ve seen since my 20s and I just let him do what he thinks will suit me. I had my hair cut just before lockdown and recently met up with a friend who thought I’d just walked out of the salon. A good stylist can make all the difference.
I always subscribed to the short hair over 40 rule but mine is long shoulder length and looks fab.
Clothes, the only rule is to wear what fits not what size you would like to be. Don’t go for fashion but find good quality,stylish well fitting clothes that suit your shape. And when buying clothes take someone with you who has no problem telling you what you look like.
Posture is everything, I remember my mum always picking us up on slouching, and I often here her voice when I’m walking telling me to “stand up straight” The job I do tends to cause a lot of shoulder and neck problems so I am very conscious of my posture.
I wear a light foundation daily as a sunscreen and a bit of mascara. Go for a natural look. Glamorous is never stylish.
I’ve reached 56 without Botox or fillers, I may have some Botox later this year just to sort out some wrinkles above my eyebrows. But as I generally pass for mid forties I don’t see the point.

*hear
I agree with other posters the jumper really suits you.

I agree.

Glamorous is never stylish.

Joan Collins would be appalled.

Whatever advice you take on board just dont go too far the other way and be the desperate middle aged woman trying to look 20, that is much much worse.

I just want to say a huge thank you to all who have replied on here as I think overall it's been really positive. I've been feeling a bit down and there have been lovely comments. I think what's stuck with me is that I want to update my look not try and knock 10 years off my chronological age!

Once we're allowed out I'll definitely be getting highlights done again and try and go a bit lighter. I'm going to try and find an up style that works so that I can grow my sides down as I think I've been corrected in saying that curly hair is ageing it's the wrong curly hair that's ageing and my current length is in that bracket!

I'm going to look for some key pieces that are a bit more structured. I like the dress and denim jacket look and I have worn that in the past.

I think colour is a good idea, amongst all the dark colours, to make it better.

The main thing I take from this is that my strapless bra is insufficient and that vest top needs to be burned

lockdownalli I must be strange then as no I don't ever want to be invisible or make people look!

This really made me laugh at myself. Yes, I am not known for my moderation!!

I agree with PP - I would rather look stylish than fashionable and there is a difference.

Hi OP I think you look lovely and I like your wavy hair, for me, straight hair is too severe and I have learned to embrace my natural waves.

No fashion expert here, but I like Mango and Zara if that is of any help. But once I got into my 40's every shop I visit seems like I have to cherry pick iyswim - it seems to get harder but I like the thrill of the chase. I used to be obsessed with Whitestuff, fatface, seasalt etc but now I find it frumpsville. My sister on the other hand loves those shops and always looks good - it suits her personality (she has rainbow hair and a bit of a hippy).

Find your own style and do it with confidence, confidence is sexy.

The main thing I take from this is that my strapless bra is insufficient and that vest top needs to be burned

They are the most important things to take from this!

You definitely have to work harder at it. My tip is to use a primer with mica in it on top of my moisturiser plus the tiniest bit of concealer applied with a brush over skin imperfections.
I think it's best to stick with simple designs in all clothes and plain colours with bold accessories.
Also important to maintain grooming - hair, nails, etc. As I've aged, my nails look 'old'.