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How to not look middle aged

993 replies

Justtakeatowel · 17/06/2020 19:30

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

OP posts:
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36
Ginfordinner · 19/06/2020 14:15

Is anyone finding that they aren't using a handbag during the current situation?

I am now working from home, and only take my phone, complete with debit card tucked into the case, with me when I go shopping, so I don't need a handbag at all these days.

I have succumbed to the great crime against fashion and bought a bum bag for when I go walking as I like to take my sunglasses and camera with me. Climbing over stiles and through brambles looks rather ridiculous when carrying a handbag.

janet1267 · 19/06/2020 14:25

I absolutely love threads like this!

I think the most important thing is to find what suits you and what you feel comfortable in. I've had some clothes that others have told me look nice but I just didn't feel like 'me'. I've had to accept that some looks that I love such as floaty dresses etc just don't suit me. I have big boobs and loose clothes make me look fatter than I am.

I think you need to find your style. I have a friend who rocks what I call the Prue Leith/Jenny Eclair look. Chunky jewellery, funky glasses, unusual clothes. She looks fabulous. I'd look ridiculous. I prefer tailored lines, skinny jeans, loose shirts, trainers or boots, a long coat or leather jacket, jersey dresses.

I'm a bit overweight and it's definitely ageing, but I've improved my posture through yoga and using weights.

My tips

  • very subtle Botox if you can afford it (although I've realised during lockdown I quite like my face without it)
  • drink lots of water
  • a good skincare routine, the products don't have to be expensive
  • short, well manicured nails. I like a pale polish in summer like Essie Mademoiselle and a dark colour in winter
  • a good haircut, professionally coloured. I don't have good hair so this is a struggle for me.

When it comes to my own personal style I've worked out what suits me

  • no frills
  • no patterns, mostly. I have some pretty kaftans from One Hundred Stars
  • good quality fabrics
  • minimal jewellery. Usually a watch, a ring, some simple stud or hoop earrings and maybe a chunky bangle or a handful of skinny bangles.
  • never earrings and a necklace, one or the other.
  • I've had my colours done and with the exception of black tend to try and stick to the colours in my palette.
  • good quality, simple styled handbags. Ideally leather but last summer I used a tan coloured tote all summer which I bought for less than £10 in Primark. Lots of people commented on it.

Shops I love -
Cos (some things, not everything works), & Other Stories, Baukjen (a revelation, their jersey tops are really good quality and hang beautifully), Me & Em for palazzo pants, White Company, Uniqlo.

M&S and Next for basics like jeans and t shirts. Some H&M.

Department stores are good for seeing lots of different styles in one place.

Places I avoid - and I really do think if you want to avoid looking middle aged these are best avoided - Joules, White Stuff, Fat Face, Phase 8, Per Una. Most Boden. Radley bags. Fitflops.

Mostly I believe that as you get older 'less is more' works well. Keep make up, hair and clothes simple.

Megatron · 19/06/2020 14:33

@candilemon

The mandatory short hair on over 40s is definitely very old fashioned.

Yes. Thought that theory disappeared long ago. Longer hair is softer and prettier.

Blimey, that's a little unkind.
chocatoo · 19/06/2020 14:33

p.s. I don't agree with PPs that being overweight is ageing. I am overweight and the lines on my face are more plumped out making me look younger. I think being too thin is very ageing. Unfortunately it does also mean that I have a bigger arse but I think I prefer it that way round.

Tomhollandswife · 19/06/2020 14:34

This reply has been deleted

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chubbyhotchoc · 19/06/2020 14:36

I do think there's a tendency to cut her short after women become mothers. It's easy and too much of a faff to contend with long hair but usually longer hair does look softer and more youthful than short her. There are exceptions of course and you have to work with your hair type and what's maintainable for you.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 14:40

Thanks janet1267 baukjen looks good for tops. I'm definitely guilty of wearing tshirts too much and need to grow up a little.

Bagelsandbrie · 19/06/2020 14:43

Some older women who I think are very stylish are Carolyn from Killing Eve and the female lawyer from Ozark. Obviously I mean the characters and the way they dress, but they are both really fashionable and strong looking without trying to look 21 again. Both have short hair, cut in quite a masculine style really but the clothes finish the look off and make it look chic and edgy.

janet1267 · 19/06/2020 14:43

Heygirlheyboy the quality is lovely; I learned of them from the Style and beauty threads on here. Check for discount codes, I very rarely pay full price for anything.

Megatron · 19/06/2020 15:29

I think Kristen Scott Thomas always looks fabulous. Understated and classy.

She never looks 'overdone', she seems to get it just right IMO.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/06/2020 15:32

Bagel spooky I've just mentioned Ozark Helens style on another thread Grin I've a slight crush on her actually, she is so striking. Not at all girly but the tailored yet floaty tops soften the strong silhouette of her cropped palazzo trousers, feminine short hair cut then ballet flats so she can get on with business try not to get whacked by her drug lord boss.

I wish I could look like her!

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/06/2020 15:36

This thread has been excellent!

Can i ask -

For a recommendation for a good but reasonable priced retinol hand cream? Would I need to use something by day with Vit C in like I would on my face with the retinol?

Those of you who wear Uniqlo, should I size up on tops? I've discovered think knit tops tucked into jeans/trousers and have found slightly looser looks good but I don't want to be drowned. Any advise?

Thanks again gang Smile

GrimDamnFanjo · 19/06/2020 15:37

Someone posted up thread about glasses and having difficulties re. Their prescription?

I buy mine from an independent optician in Manchester www.seen.co.uk - they stock proper designer eyewear [not the usual fashion house stuff. Very very stylish and a lot only available in the store - but the killer is the lenses are amazing too. I am very shortsighted and used to have to restrict my frame size to avoid lense overhang. Not any more.
I have now bought 4 frames. They are expensive compared to the high street opticians but worth every penny and they do offer payment plans.
I took nearly 2 hours to choose my first frames. Best eyewear decision I've ever made!

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/06/2020 15:41

Sorry OP I don't know how to link but there's a thread in S & B running at the moment about best budget beauty buys which might be worth a look.

GabrielleChanel · 19/06/2020 15:44

Hello
I am so interested to read this - I will be 43 next birthday but have had a stressfull couple of years - and been yoyo comfort eating/trying to diet through lockdown - so really interested to see all the points.
I am never going go have botox and have moved away from gel nails from lockdown (I realised I oculdn't see how clean my hands were) but interested to read about the other beauty treatments - I think I read about Caffeine cream to help with my exhausted undereyes too.

Megatron · 19/06/2020 15:54

have moved away from gel nails from lockdown (I realised I oculdn't see how clean my hands were)

Likewise @GabrielleChanel, I've started keeping my nails really short now, purely because it's not practical to use a nail brush every time I wash my hands, particularly at work, and my GP friend told me that she believes an enormous amount of bugs are transported underneath fingernails.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/06/2020 16:02

I'm lazy with my finger nails so need to start keeping on top of them more. I have discovered that for toe nail colours, unless it's a fully on rouge noir or denim blue (which I adore but they're so bad for staining) a good nude brown looks great, really "clean" if that makes sense (I realise bare nails is cleanest but mine are awful Blush). I was in Rome last autumn and it was still lovely and warm, all the gorgeous Italian ladies seemed to opt for this and they know a thing or two about looking chic.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 16:02

I keep my nails short and neat and often bare. Not perfectly groomed I know.

Ginfordinner · 19/06/2020 16:05

That was probably me @GrimDamnFanjo. I have an expensive prescription as well, having extreme short sightedness, astigmatism and varifocal lenses that require thinning. My lenses alone cost several hundred pounds. Then I need a frame small enough not to slip off my face.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/06/2020 17:01

Thanks to posters who mentioned Justine Leconte ... I've just looked at some of her videos. She's brilliant! Good advice and she seems so nice with it. She must have an advantage in all this being french though Smile

IrmaFayLear · 19/06/2020 17:13

It’s no good posters mentioning Kristin Scott Thomas etc as people who look stylish. Obviously being tall and having a quite androgynous figure puts you ahead in the clothes horse stakes.

Can anyone think of a stylish older pear?!

bibbitybobbitycats · 19/06/2020 17:16

@IrmaFayLear

It’s no good posters mentioning Kristin Scott Thomas etc as people who look stylish. Obviously being tall and having a quite androgynous figure puts you ahead in the clothes horse stakes.

Can anyone think of a stylish older pear?!

Judi Dench often looks pretty good?
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 17:32

@Ginfordinner

I think you can get away with a few sartorial crimes when out hiking Smile.

Hiking is one of my favourite ways of keeping fit. Other than being clean and practical, I’m not sure you can be much more when out on the hills.

MrPickles73 · 19/06/2020 17:32

You look very slim to me!

I would say 90% improvement will come from hair cut (those your's is not 'bad') and clothes. Wear Colourful clothes. Buy nice shoes but not necessarily high heels. Some fun jewelry?

Bagelsandbrie · 19/06/2020 17:32

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz Grin I love her too!

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