Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

How to not look middle aged

993 replies

Justtakeatowel · 17/06/2020 19:30

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 10:17

Staying slim and healthy is key. Yes it does get tougher and more high maintenance when you get older. I’m 40 but have started doing a few things.

Cut down on alcohol. I still drink but less.

Drink more water. I have a litre bottle that I keep on my desk. Drink one throughout the morning and one throughout the afternoon. Topped up with herbal tea.

Cut back on caffeine. I have one cup of coffee in the morning but then switch to water and herbal tea.

Good sleep hygiene, 7-8 hours sleep per night.

Minimal but high quality skin care regime. Including retinol. Retinol hand cream at night.

Teeth - clean and polish every 6 months and whitening every few years.

Eyebrows - not a caterpillar but thicker makes you look younger. Get them professionally threaded and dyed. Colour in with pencil.

Try to exercise outdoors, if you can. A short run or hike gets the blood flowing anyway but seems to be even better when combined with fresh air.

As others have said - get your make up professionally done and see what suits you. I always find that investing in good quality moisturiser, primer and foundation works best and then scrimp on the mascara / eyeshadow (hello maybelline).

Buy some expensive, we’ll cut classic outfits and then bring them up to date with bits from Zara/H&M/Mango each year.

Hair gets dryer as you get older. Lots of conditioner and serum (I also have wavy hair). Mine is a bit longer but I still think the curls age me, so I straighten it but not so it’s dead straight. Maybe a few golden highlights throughout your parting? Less harsh next to your face.

Whatever you do, don’t listen to my mother, who thinks that it should be mandatory for all women to cut their hair off on their 40th birthday and go for the “I’ve given up on my appearance look”. She phoned me on my birthday to tell me this. She also suggested that I buy a Honda Jazz, should stop wearing mini skirts and ripped jeans Smile. Then when she saw me, told me off because my bag didn’t match my shoes.

TheHoundsofLove · 19/06/2020 10:21

Thanks Hey ! Smile

WingBingo · 19/06/2020 10:29

@Railingsohno Thank you!

@bibbitybobbitycats they are jeans, also from All Saints.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 10:31

That is hilarious that your mum actually called you to say that!! Grin

Railingsohno · 19/06/2020 10:41

@Alsohuman

Biker jackets have been around since the 50s, they’re outside fashion like striped tops. Fashion is transient, style is eternal. Beige anoraks will never be stylish, leathers bikers always will be. I think the older you get, the more important style becomes and the less fashion matters.
So true. Look at someone like Kate Moss. I think she’s got fabulous style. She doesn't wear up to the minute fashion, just does her own thing. Great hair too.
Onekidnoclue · 19/06/2020 10:44

Bit slow but @WingBingo you look awesome. Classic with an edge. Are your trousers from me and em?

For me the big think is that cuteness has to go at 40. I do think cute slides into frump from age 35 and there’s no getting past it at 40.

Railingsohno · 19/06/2020 10:46

www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/people/46-fashion-tips-take-ever-stylish-kate-moss-celebrates-46th/amp/

I know she’s a supermodel but some good tips there if you like her style. She’s a bit rock chick for me but I like leopard and a good pair of boots!

Railingsohno · 19/06/2020 10:49

Although some of them are dubious! 🙈😁

WingBingo · 19/06/2020 10:53

@Onekidnoclue they are All Saints too!

Skinny jeans but looser than most.

TheHoundsofLove · 19/06/2020 10:56

Some great tips in that article Railings - who doesn't love a bit of Kate Moss?! I only wish that I had occasion to wear sequins, a cape and feathers! Grin

TazSyd · 19/06/2020 10:56

@Heygirlheyboy

She can be a bit overbearing. Then she gets offended when I refuse to talk hair and clothes with her. Just accept that I’m a different generation and the princess Di blow dry (so beloved of my mother and her friends) just isn’t the look I’m going fir 😁.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 10:57

Kate Moss is amazing but also could wear a paper bag!

I love Nina from Offspring for style inspiration, comfy Boho swishy skirts, delicate jewellery and nice boots too at times.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 11:10

lockdownalli I must be strange then as no I don't ever want to be invisible or make people look! I do want to look my best tho and have some nice clothes that I love and feel really suit me. I love the biker jacket look but couldn't pull it off. And I think that's the big thing between grump or not, I know a 46 yo who is very cool and wears Vegas with leather skirt and nice t-shirt. She has gorgeous hair skin and figure. It would look frumpy on me. Similarly I like the floral midis and my friend says they really suit me but they would swamp her and would age her too. I like a bit of edge but I have to watch carefully for what is me and what's not. As a pp said I'd feel an impostor in some things that look very cool on others and when you feel like that it's not good.

Heygirlheyboy · 19/06/2020 11:13

TazSyd yes my mil disagrees with anything but short short hair on over 30s. I'd say she's dying with the current situation of no hairdressers! She hated me when I encouraged her daughter to grow her hair into a bob!

Sunnydays123456 · 19/06/2020 11:20

I don’t think Kate Moss has aged that well tbh

Victoria Beckham and Liz Hurley look bloody amazing !

TazSyd · 19/06/2020 11:22

@heygirlheyboy

We joke that she should do a TV show like 10 years younger but hers could be called 20 years older.

If she just wore what she wanted and didn’t constantly criticise others and give unwanted “advice” it wouldn’t be an issue.

The mandatory short hair on over 40s is definitely very old fashioned. Short hair looks great on some women but not all. I think it’s from a time when women were just expected to marry as well as they could, have kids and then fade into the background as soon as they hit 40.

candilemon · 19/06/2020 11:24

I think Kate Moss’s lifestyle is showing in her face. She has a hard look in recent photos. Her face is puffy and suspiciously smooth.

HasaDigaEebowai · 19/06/2020 11:25

I agree, KM is the same age as me and I definitely look younger than she does. She looks like she's partied a bit too hard..

TazSyd · 19/06/2020 11:26

Just different. Kate’s look isn’t as done up as Liz Hurley and Victoria Beckam.

Liz Hurley must be full of Botox and fillers but doesn’t look it, neither does Kate. Victoria Beckam’s face barely moves.

candilemon · 19/06/2020 11:27

She looks more like Jools Oliver, in fact.

How to not look middle aged
Floisme · 19/06/2020 11:27

There are some thoughtful comments on this thread but a lot of ignorance and prejudice too. I see we've even got the mother-in-law memes coming out now.

Incidentally many middle aged women get their hair cut short because it thins out post menopause.

Abraid2 · 19/06/2020 11:27

@WingBingo

Here is me in my All Saints leather jacket.

I think it looks edgy, other than the silly pose!

You look great!
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 11:28

Average age for menopause is 50 though, not 30 or 40.

candilemon · 19/06/2020 11:29

The mandatory short hair on over 40s is definitely very old fashioned.

Yes. Thought that theory disappeared long ago. Longer hair is softer and prettier.

Abraid2 · 19/06/2020 11:29

@Floisme

There are some thoughtful comments on this thread but a lot of ignorance and prejudice too. I see we've even got the mother-in-law memes coming out now.

Incidentally many middle aged women get their hair cut short because it thins out post menopause.

Yes, my hair simply couldn't be worn any other way than short after I was at a certain point in my forties. My face had also become longer and thinner and longer hair doesn't look good on it. When I had it cut, several neighbours told me I looked so much younger. Which was lovely, but did beg a question...
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread