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Original poster

Anal bleaching

655 replies

poobag · 15/02/2018 23:49

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
alotalotalot · 16/02/2018 11:42

She's not serious, there are too many gags in her posts.

AthenasOwl · 16/02/2018 11:43

Tidy up your genitals?? lol literally no one on this thread has said it's disgusting. Most of us just have better things to be at than worrying what are assholes look like and obviously with your daughter having difficulties it would seem that you do too..but yanno...priorities 😐

paddypants13 · 16/02/2018 11:44

I love the fact that the op basically called us all prudes who only have sex with the lights off and wearing cardigans but we're the bullies!

I imagine a lot of salons who provide intimate waxing will also do anal bleaching op. It's not something I've ever looked in to. I wouldn't recommend trying to do it yourself though, I would hate for you to damage your skin and be uncomfortable.

Right, I'm off to wash my cardi, let's just say it saw some action last night!!! GrinGrinGrinGrin (It didn't, dh is on nights this week. I did shave my armpits this week though. Mentioned it to DH and he replied "ffs, now I'm going to have to spend my day off unblocking the drains!". Grin He's a cheeky so and so!)

Dobbythesockelf · 16/02/2018 11:45

Omg seriously. Just cause we don't feel the need to use bleach on delicate skin we are therefore disgusting people? There is a massive gap between never grooming and bleaching your arsehole. And I imagine many women fall somewhere in between. I'm currently pregnant so I can't shave my legs never mind groom my "lady garden" and when I'm not pregnant I personally don't want to look like a porn star and pubic hair has a purpose so I'll let it do it's job.
Sorry we are all not as adventurous and pornstarish as you.

mimibunz · 16/02/2018 11:46

Really, poobag? Mumsnet made you feel bad about yourself? You seem to take yourself very seriously, as anus bleachers go. Most of the ones I know are at least in on the joke.

AndromedaPerseus · 16/02/2018 11:46

OP your thread has made discussion of the dayGrin

PollyBanana · 16/02/2018 11:47

My mother always used to say "if you ask a silly question, you'll get a silly answer"

picklemepopcorn · 16/02/2018 11:48

Noone's been nasty TO or ABOUT you, poobag.
We just think it's hilarious/gross/troubling that bleached bums is a thing.

juddyrockingcloggs · 16/02/2018 11:49

OP, I once considered it but it's too much of a faff and whilst I am all for a tidy 'garden' it was a step too far.

Please don't do it yourself though, just google a local clinic who will do a proper job.

If your gonna be using bleach on your arse and fanny then get the professionals

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 16/02/2018 11:50

Seriously, I don't think you can blame mumsnetters for making you feel bad, you should blame the porn industry for making you think there is something wrong with a totally normally tinted anus.
Most people have tried to tell you that your bum doesn't NEED bleaching.

picklemepopcorn · 16/02/2018 11:50

I'm totally happy, midwinter, with furry underarms and legs. My lady garden was shaved once- never again. I rarely pluck my eyebrows.

I do manage to keep on top of my tache, though.

Takes all sorts.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 16/02/2018 11:52

And yes, get it done professionally at least the first time.
Then you decide if it's worth going the DIY route, or if the whole idea is just a pain in the arse.

juddyrockingcloggs · 16/02/2018 11:53

To be fair Breakfast anything we do such as plucking eye brows or waxing legs to putting on a bit of make up etc isn't NEEDED so that's a moot point!

juddyrockingcloggs · 16/02/2018 11:54

Pain in the arse!!!! Hahahahaha!

iklboo · 16/02/2018 11:54

Capability Brown would have a job landscaping my lady garden.

EllebellyBeeblebrox · 16/02/2018 11:54

Dh is lucky if I'm up for a shag at all, never mind a bald fanny and bleached arsehole. Whatever floats your boat op

OuchBollocks · 16/02/2018 11:54

I was googling 'what does a retired porn star look like', as I was going to make a serious point that porn star looks aren't really something to aspire to, but the second hit was about Prince Phillip, wtf?!?!

Anal bleaching
twinone · 16/02/2018 11:54

OP, so you like your men to have the porn star look too?
I don't think I could keep a straight face if a fella stripped off and he was as bald as a plucked chicken down there! A plucked chest is bad enough Envy

Aridane · 16/02/2018 11:57

OP - don’t DIY - get it done professionally

franktheskank · 16/02/2018 12:00

They dont care, but I do Smile

A580Hojas · 16/02/2018 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

franktheskank · 16/02/2018 12:03

Most men shave these days.

Who plucks their chest ConfusedGrin

franktheskank · 16/02/2018 12:04

Op you can get stuff which works gradually over a few days, I saw it on amazon.

Olddear · 16/02/2018 12:04

Bleach Dat Shithole Mam

PortiaCastis · 16/02/2018 12:06

You're over egging the pudding OP or the arsehole as the case may be but as pps have said you could've googled about bumhole bleaching
Aren't you worried about flatulence

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