Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

I don't understand why an arsehole needs to be pale coloured.

Hi! I'm Barry Scott! How can I help?

Knitting wasn't invented until the 11th century. Ergo, cave women did not wear cardigans.

It’s probably a wee bit older but the first surviving things we have are from then (and beautiful they are too...)

Caveladies maybe did what I do which is to grow my luxurious furry body hair into a close-knit covering akin to furry leggings.

Looks fabulous with a cardi as well.

Do they still make sun-in?

Porn stars have makeup on them

I didn't know that was a prerequisite of a make up artists job. I must ask my friend about that side of her job.

MrsBeverlyGoldberg I think we are all asking ourselves that very question lol
I just can't imagine a point in my life when I will care about what colour my arsehole is!

I'm gutted the OP hasn't been back to tell us more about her adventurous porn star sex life.
Personally I've never felt the need to even look at more own arsehole, apart from when I thought I had piles in pregnancy. But no one's ever told me it's horrible so I'll presume it's not horrific

It is a thing.

I've never done it but wouldn't mind having a go. Who will see it? Well Whenever you do anything sexual bent over they can see it!

I think most salons do it now, I know I’ve seen it advertised at my local salon.

I'm embarrassed to write that I remember Peter Andre had this done when he was with Katie Price. Somehow I took in that information without asking any questions - I think it was the shock.

Can you just imagine the thoughts of the pinkerupper whilst they are doing their job on the 50 year old, conservatively dressed, middle class lady who obviously has a very wild side to them. Must be absolutely dying to ask questions.

Who will see it? Well Whenever you do anything sexual bent over they can see it!

O.M.G.

But Frank, why would you do anything sexual with anyone who actually cared what colour it was?

This has to be a joke/ DM. If not i think bleaching is the least of your problems

“start taking care of your own backyards”

Funniest line on the thread!

Next time just google it 🤷‍♀️

I know it's a thing; I know salons do it. But really whatever next? YouTubers demonstrating the latest shading versus highlighting tips to make your arsehole appear smaller/bigger/ more inviting? I can only speak for myself but a kink that requires prettification of your poop hole sounds far less exciting than a spontaneous romp with or without cardie.

As an aside I read in a magazine that most porn is videoshopped to even out skin tone to disguise shaving/waxing rashes etc. I think the perfect ring tone may be an unachievable mirage.

Don't let the back doors slam on your way out!

You didn't honestly think everyone would start posting their porn star hints & tips about anal bleaching like they were swapping Tupperware lids & mince recipes did you?

It may have been better if you'd have posted in Sex topic rather than Style & Beauty.

Shouldn’t your time be spent supporting your daughter then utilised for anal bleaching to look like a porn star? Rather then help me bleach my arsehole then I’d like to discuss my child.

Just figured as this is a parenting site it would be the other way around.

start taking care of your own backyards

Peers, gazes wistfully at the untamed bushes (plural), goes to put on a cardi and wait for DP to come home and tend to my backyard

It was a serious question? What did you honestly think people would say?

Thanks Bert, it was an intentional reference to the assholes of the assholes on this thread.

And I did Google it, but there are a lot of products available for this and so I wanted to know which one is best.

The rest of the world wouldn't bat an eyelid to the thought of wanting to tidy up your genitals. But mumsnet want to know if this is a 'thing' because apparently trying to be aesthetically pleasing downstairs is 'disgusting' and a cause for much ridicule and nastiness.
Seriously, if you want to grow your pubes so long you can plait them and if you like your ageing assholes, then you all crack on. Some of us would rather to embrace the pornstar look rather than the wizard sleeve look.