Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Thank you for the serious replies. I've just googled and a salon in my town does bleaching. I asked if it was popular, she said 'very'. It's now I'm the top 5 cosmetic salon procedures alongside Botox, thread vein removal and dermabrasion.
Vindicated. 😀

Ugh, I have Googled and found lots of products. I wanted to know from personal experience which one to buy!
If I was on here asking which product to buy to get rid of dry skin or something, that would be fine. I could Google that too, but asking that would be legitimate? Just because you have no interest in having a nice arse doesn't mean it's not a serious question.

You don't want to be using them chemicals. Steam cleaning is the biz.

You can show it to all your friends and post before and after pics here

You'd find this stuff on sites like lovehoney, there are reviews from people

Ffs we were having to mollify the op because she didn't like the unbleached arseholes on here saying it's not necessary. Obviously she's now vindicated, so the only conclusion is that we are now aged, uncool unbleached arseholes.

Oh yes we need the before and after pictures, op. Please don't

Just because you have no interest in having a nice arse doesn't mean it's not a serious question.

A puckered bumhole is a puckered bumhole whichever shade of Farrow ad Ball it is.

I'm only 28. I didn't realise I was old and a prude because I don't bleach my arsehole. I am wearing a cardigan however, but not cause I'm gonna have sex with the lights off it's cause I'm cold.

I bet IKEA have a few handy products for tidying up your genitals. Probably called Flappur, Dykk or Forclittus.

My cleaner recommends Lick and Luck Butt Bleach. Seriously.

This thread is hilarious. My children keep asking me what I'm laughing at

anal bleaching is actually really popular! loads of salons near me do it

OMG - cardi sex sounds lush, slanket sex sounds better though.

poobag it's probably not your target audience though.

Few on here would either have done it or want to chat about it! and no before and afters or cardigan prejudice

it tell you a lot that mumsnet hq have decided this is a 'discussion of the day' when the answer is its your bum hole and vulva you can do what you like

it tell you a lot that mumsnet hq have decided this is a 'discussion of the day' when the answer is its your bum hole and vulva you can do what you like

you all crack on.

(Sniggers)

“anal bleaching is actually really popular!“

So are lots of stupid things.

Hey girlfriend.... I don't need to take care of my backyard....my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!!!!

Do you think your DD's friends know you bleach your arse????

This HAS to be on classics!! And OP, I assume that your screen name is not a coincidence?

I want to know what people are doing that involves looking at each others arseholes?

No don't put it on classics itsbad enough that it is in discussion of the day

Good luck turning the Oxo Tower into the White House, Poobag.

I hope you manage to get to the bottom of things without hitting a bum note.

"anal bleaching is really popular" - yes, so was vajazzling: doesn't mean it's something that I want to do, though. I also don't want pornstar nails. Or an oompah loompah tan. But if "porn star" is your idea of beauty, you crack on, dear.

Mind you, I once got a chemical burn from Nair there- the pain on needing a poo was far worse than after I had my piles chopped off: definitely consult a professional if Jolene can't help