Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Christ, it's a brave person who tries to stick a bejewelled butt plug up a cat's ring piece. Or any kind of butt plug.

Tolchock, I thought that. I'd be deceased by now if I tried.

Arms in shreds, Lobster. It'd play havoc with your cardi or gimpsuit.

Niki it's a standoff between what is sexier and more satisfying: the humble cardigan or a bleached anus.Yes, not a run of the mill S&B dilemma

😂

Weeps.

Christ, it's a brave person who tries to stick a bejewelled butt plug up a cat's ring piece. Or any kind of butt plug.

It's not a buttplug, it's a dangly charm that you put over the tail and it hangs in front of the 'winking eye'

twinkletush.com/

Here is how twinkletush works. I love this guys youtube channel it has me in fits of laughter. Sylvester the cat demonstrates his asshole jewel.

I bought a cardigan today, actually it was a twin set. (I’ll show myself out).

Oooh, where did you find the twin set?

What kind of depraved madman tries to shove a butt plug up a cat?
Christ on a bike

@Wheresmyfuckingcupcake

Its not a butt plug for a cat. Watch the youtube video i posted. Its hilarious and shows the twinkle tush in action

Honestly @Wheresmyfuckingcupcake no one would do that to a cat!

What kind of perverts do you think we are?

What kind of perverts do you think we are?

🤷🏻‍♀️

I dated someone once who wanted me to dress up as a cat complete with butt plug tail.

Before dumping him my friends and I played with him a bit and so by text I said I'd be happy to do this but wanted him to fulfil my 'animal fantasy' and dress up too.

The best suggestions we came up with were centipede, shire horse and hammerhead shark

I luffs you, Motherforker. I just woke the DC from my shriek of laughter.

Here, have a

Lindy2, WOW upside down spells...

Thank you, Mumsnet for this glorious thread! it makes up for all the years of stupid and nasty. I haven't laughed so much in months. Or maybe years.

How is this thread not in classics?

Do you remember a thread from a few years ago where part of an op’s getting ready routine was to spruce up her arse with toothpaste? She said it so casually as if it was a done thing.

Harvey What was his reaction when you asked him to dress as a centipede? Was he up for it?

Surely this is racism?
😂

driveinsane - he got annoyed at me 'taking the piss' unfortunately.

Harvey some men can be such sensitive little hammerheads flowers can't they?

DH & I usually watch a horror movie on Saturday nights. I might suggest The Ring for tonight.

I am new to mumsnet; after this thread I will never leave.
When I was at school we used to sing 'Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger
Stick them up your bum and they last a bit longer'.
Thought it was a joke but am now wondering...

I nearly spat my coffee on me when I saw this 😂