Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Well I'm off to Tesco, shopping list:

Cillit Bang
Sudocrem
Talc
Papaya
Dulux brilliant white
Toothpaste

And ......

A pair of sunglasses for DP.

I am actually crying now. Midwives, I see your knitted breasts and raise you a crocheted bum hole.
Op thank you so much. You may not have meant to but you have made my Friday.

Vagazzle is a thing is arsazzle a thing to? It doesn’t have the right ring to it imo

Arsazzle wins this thread. Marvellous.

I’ve just reread the op and have to query something. Her reasons for bleaching her poor old starfish is that she’s had three kids.
Op, if you squeezed your kids out of your anus, you were doing it wrong.

I should be hoovering but I keep reading this thread! Hilarious

Mari652 I’m snorting with laughter.
Cardigan on reading glasses at the ready !

Johnny Cash is very popular today as are polos the arse with the hole

Sadly, it's been around ages in porn, remember a TV show from at least 7-8 years ago talking about this, but at the time, it was strictly porn territory and it was done by plastic surgery drs.

Arseazzle

We have a winner.....

Could you not cut a hole in a paper doily and apply as and when? Would look decorative and seems less drastic.

(HuskyMcClusky from waaaay back in the thread)
I proper lol'd at this one!
🤣🤣

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake

I’ve just reread the op and have to query something. Her reasons for bleaching her poor old starfish is that she’s had three kids.
Op, if you squeezed your kids out of your anus, you were doing it wrong.

^this has absolutely made my day. Tears streaming down my face

Seriously, if you want to grow your pubes so long you can plait them and if you like your ageing asshole

Maybe OP you can bleach the plaits and fashion yourself a blonde toupee for your starfish. Would that work?

OP.. I am sorry you feel unsupported.
I am definitely not a lights out and cardy on type and enjoy some sexual activities that involve my dp being in close proximity to my anus.
I am aware that it is fashionable to lighten this area, and sometimes attend certain style of party where there are a lot of ladies and gentlemen who are very sophisticated and very keen on errr.. Maintenance
I have seen some bleached anuses and some not at these events.
No one seems to mind, comment.
I asked dp.. He just laughed and said by that point no man or woman is caring what colour things are...
But it is clearly something you are worried about and if you want to do this, I'd suggest going to a reputable aesthetic clinic.
It's your choice, I wouldn't use a beautician though, and I'd do research into any clinic first.

Oh I love you ladies! I haven't laughed so much in such a long time x

Omg ageing asshole lol I'm dying
How do you recognise when your asshole is ageing? It's already wrinkly

But also 🤣 at the suggestions... Love the doily idea...

I'm thinking of dental floss and Dylon.

Tie dyed bum. It's the future.

Well if an unbleached anus is all you have to be worried about OP
you're very lucky.
grabs cardigan and stomps off

Haaaaaa haaaaa tie dyed bum should be copyrighted

Ageing arsehole . Do arseholes get darker with age?

Is it too early in the year for a rendition of ‘I’m dreaming of a white arsehole...just like the hole it used to be...’

You know sometimes when you bleach dark hair it goes bright orange? Just saying, OP...

Athena. it's already wrinkly! Gasping and rofl ing.

DH didn't notice when I had my hair cut, there's no chance he'd appreciate a slightly different shade of arsehole.

I assume if one bought some spray domestos frompoundlandwhereelse and cocked one's leg up onto the toilet seat one could do a diy spray job on one's bumhole