Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Coo.

Just why?

Well thanks ladies. Thanks for making me feel crap about myself. It was a serious question, but as with everything I ask on mumsnet, the nasty twats crawl out of the woodwork.
I had another question to post regarding bullying. My daughter's having a hard time at school, but I think asking a group of bullies how to handle bullies is probably a waste of my breath.
Seriously, you're vile. Vile, vile, vile. Lots of you need to spend less time on mumsnet being cunts to other women and start taking care of your own backyards. Bleach your assholes, and whilst you're at it take a long hard look at the rest of yourselves.

Hairy handed trucker either really crap at trolling or genuinely pissed of that the 'ladies' of Mumsnet weren't scrambling to offer their anal bleaching tips to achieve the porniest of porn star arse holes.

Glitter... still laughing at tie dye effect!

I'm sitting at work laughing at this... best thing I've read all week...
My colleague is confused why I'm laughing at a stock spreadsheet!

'Hmmmmmm, I really need advice on my daughter being bullied at school, but I also need to sort my ring piece as it's looking well brown. I have heard Mumsnet is a super supportive place and a fountain of knowledge about everything, so I shall definitely ask advice about anal bleaching first. The bullying thing can wait'.

Can I ask how old you are OP?

Sudocrem would make it gleam white. You could get rid of the shine with a light dusting of talc.

🎵🎵🎵 I fell in to that burning ring of fire 🎵🎵🎵🎵

My poor anus is clenched in horror. I think it's trying to hide.

Rather than bleaching maybe an application of Dulux Extra Bright White with a lip brush would be a better idea?

Just go to a salon ... don’t risk it.

I don’t think vaginal bleaching is a thing though.

Bleaching my arse hole! hell, he is lucky if I lift my nightie! !

Am I the only person who's never actually seen another adults arsehole? I mean, even if in that vicinity, it's not something I've ever inspected as such.

I had to play that Jonny Cash number. I just did. And smirked all the way through...

Why bother OP? Its not as if its going to get served up in the Jungle.

Dying at the sudocrem & talc suggestion.

Upgrade- add glitter spray for that special occasion.

Can I get it for my cat?
Her ring piece is a disaster and I see that several times most days.
I’ve never had occasion to see DHs.

I can't believe people are making such a big deal out of it

Interesting user name OP...

This is Bloody brilliant!😂😂

I can't believe people are making such a big deal out of it

Oh lighten up!

Disclaimer: I am very childish.

Well I think you should go down the natural product route.

On one of the links earlier in this thread it said you can use papaya (yep, that's right, it's not a typo...papaya )

Hell, you could even go organic! Imagine that... a 100% natural and organically bleached arsehole. Compost the results at the end and you'll probably be up for some green living award too.

Don't overdo it with the bleach, it will end up looking like a Polo mint
This has made my day.

@WilburIsSomePig 😂😂