Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Is it wrong that I want to Google before and after pics to see what all the fuss is about?

Could you possibly sit naked in the sea for some time, as I believe that sea water has many many benefits for the skin. maybe even a lightener, but definitely a soother and a softener, which maybe needed after some salon treatment .

I just thought earlier though, would some coarse sandpaper do the job you wanted to do. I Do DIY a lot, well on my old wooden furniture,, and always get good, clean. smooth results using coarse sandpaper.

Rather - me too! Bit scared though. Can you do it and report back?

Well you can't get it done round here, I just looked. I must live in a becardiganed backwater. Thank goodness.

I don't think anyone's disputing its existence or it's popularity..it's just that it's completely unnecessary!
Also I'm off for the weekend with my husband ..should I pack the domestos? 🤔

None of you has seen Borat!

Jaysus! I thought this said Borax for a second.

DO NOT put borax on your bumhole, for the love of sphincters!

lastnightmywifehooveredmyhead calm down " dear", I didn't say I want to do it. I think it's absolutely bonkers and have no desire to put any product near my arsehole, it's madness. I was just saying it's very popular where I am for those people who had no idea it even existed/was a thing.

Capability Brown would have a job landscaping my lady garden

In fairness, CB was very much about the natural, wilderness look. And he did love a ha-ha

Don't overdo it with the bleach, it will end up looking like a Polo mint.

^

On the floor

😂😂😂 tippex!

I was going to suggest a jet wash, but I see op’s already found someone to do it.

I want to know what people are doing that involves looking at each others arseholes?

People have sex wearing short cardis that don’t cover their bum holes so I’m told.

In my opinion life is too short to bleach your arsehole.
You shit out of it, why does it need to be pretty.

@TheXXFactor - ah! That explains DH's reaction when he sees my foof

“You crack on”
Howl

And this should definitely be in classics. The fact the op is too humourless to see the funny side should not prevent the rest of us enjoying it in perpetuity

Just because you have no interest in having a nice arse doesn't mean it's not a serious question.

You're not talking about having a nice arse. You're talking about your arseHOLE, that's not really the same thing.

If you're happy to present your arsehole to a complete stranger for them to bleach then crack on ...

Just Googled it
I need to go scrub my brain, or bleach it!!!!!!

Comments on this post are fricken hilarious

The fact the op is too humourless to see the funny side should not prevent the rest of us enjoying it in perpetuity

^ this

Who’s going to tell poor old Jolene that her blameless career pulling pints is about to take an unexpected and hideous turn?

Freaking hilarious

Tippex

Prince Phillip being a search result 😂

S&B threads don't disappear, either, do they? Discussion of the day is enough.

Unless the message is "come hither, oh vain kinksters and be rude and devoid of humour days after your first word on MN".

Other than insulting posters, bragging about her sex life and being miffed nobody shared their own anal exertions, I don't see what OP has added.

Is 'Prince Philip' slang for anal bleaching? Like a Prince Albert but with domestos?

How much does a salon charge for this essential treatment?

I’m not sure you could pay me enough.

And if one was slightly embarrassed there may be some clenching going on- possibly resulting in a tie dyed effect?

Lost my lunch @ polo mint.

Do gay men do this too I wonder? .

Also OP pubic hair is regaining popularity in porn so you may have to rethink your aspirational porn style.