What the actual fuck are these abominations all about then?

[WilburIsSomePig]

www.clarks.co.uk/p/26112911

So that's a potential market of shepherds, pipe band members, eccentric Germans, a Northern Irishman with a broken leg. (Though his frugal Ulster nature would probably balk at the price). Oh and the quirky American sock knitter.

I already own removable fluffy socks and they were a sight less than £100!

'Reminiscent of a simple past...' Surely tailor-made for this stylish fellow, no? Especially in all that snow.

They really do look like "what the fashionable Roman Soldier is wearing on Hadrian's wall this year - as worn by Emperor Hadrian himself!"

I'm going to report this thread until it goes into AIBU or at least discussions of the day.

Everyone has to see this.

revealall I reported it for Classics earlier and have received an email - apparently they've had lots of nominations so I think it will be moved there soon.

I thought you'd all be exaggerating , but no. Wow. No words.

Was the buyer for Clarks off her/his face when she/he bought those?

sexlube

A Desert Boot reminiscent of a simple past but equally projected towards a sophisticated future

Come again

It's art, innit: Clarks Rebooted

Or something

I am actually laughing out loud at those shoes!

A message from Clarks:

‘Don’t worry, we couldn’t persuade a real live self-respecting human being to model these boots for us so they are being modelled by a table leg. Rest assured the impression given in the photos on our website of some poor spindly-limbed individual having the circulation in their legs completely cut off by over-enthusiastically tightened shoe laces is an erroneous one.’

Is that Lloyd Cole in a kilt RubyFlint ?

A sheep has mated with a correction shoe.

Jeez, they are BAD. I mean seriously bad

You mean Baa-d, clearly.

I'm now looking for ways of casually dropping this into conversations: to consciously walk to this new man-made world where perceptions of time and space are reconfigured into a state of constant flux.

I need a pair of DesertMigrate boots!

A sheep has mated with a correction shoe

You've missed out weak-legged BabyBoomers as a market (see my post above - though Clark's somehow seem to have missed this angle in their promotional description).

Can anyone here imagine going out with your friends wearing these and the response you would get. Just the thought of their faces alone is making me laugh.

Ah I knew I would not be alone. I've had a truly crap day and some of your responses have had me literally helpless laughing so thank you all for that.

I have to say a HUGE thank you to WilburIsSomePig for making MY day! Honestly I think I really am going to buy some - as WhatamessIgotinto says, my friends would just be utterly, utterly amazed at my style and sophistication. £100 is a small price to pay for having totally unique shoes that you're guaranteed no one else will be wearing. I'm now off to buy the socks to match...