OH favouring his kids from previous relationships

[BobaFett86]

Am I being totally unreasonable here? My partner seems to think so! He has 2 kids by 2 different women. I think he keeps favouring his other kids above our 5 week old baby.
We broke up while I was 7 months pregnant because all we did was argue. He kept on prioritising his exes. They said jump, he said how high! He hasn't bought a single thing for our baby, yet has been giving his exes double the amount of expected child support.
We decided to get back together when our baby was born. But he still seems more concerned about his previous relationships/children. He arranged to have his kids for the weekend when our baby was just 2 days old, yet it wasn't even his weekend to have them! 5 weeks on, and he still hasn't given me a penny towards our baby. Yet I've had to give him money for travel fare so he can visit his other kids.
And now I am furious because this week I made plans with him to visit me and our baby (again, gave him travel fare money to make sure he could get here ok) and yet twice in 3 days, he has bailed on us, just so he can have his eldest daughter instead!! When I moaned at him about it, he accused me of trying to make him reject his daughter for my own gain!! And said that his ex 'needs' him to help her out with everything, even though she has a fiance who lives with her.
I also have a 4 year old from a previous relationship, and my OH always puts her down when she does something wrong. "My kids would never do that. I won't let you see them again because I don't want them picking up your bad behaviour" is a prime example of what he always says.
Apparently I 'cant handle' the fact that he has other kids. Am I in the wrong here?

[Lunar1]

Glad that you are out of it, I know your boys are young but try make time to get yourself the help you need.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Yes you do.
You must see that how you feel towards this child is wrong?

I am sorry i was harsh but you were/are a very frustrating poster.

You put all of his faults on that poor girl. That was wrong but you would not listen.

I am pleased for you all that you got out. However you do need to sort out your head

[IzzyIsBusy]

You were yes.

You dont have to be.
Seriously you had all the sympathy and support at the start.
BUT you continued to blame the little girl not the fuckwit.

It did not matter how much evidence and suppirt posters gave you, you just would not see she was not to blame.

You genuinly feel bad then stop with the digs and the vitriol against her and her mum. That is why despite nc people recognise you.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Well the OP is not returning so lets nick her thread

How are you finding life away from fuck wit and how long has it been?

You dont have to answer by the way and i really am genuine when i ask how uou are.

[stitchglitched]

You are not a horrible person, you have just got into a rut and this animosity towards this girl seems to have become a bit of habit that is hard to break. Sounds like counselling would be a good idea.

[NZmonkey]

Meandmy I'm so glad you LTB. I remember you saying at one point just how bad he was actually treating you. Your problem always was him and not your DSD. As PP have suggested counseling may help to get past they feelings of resentment you still have about it all. I really hope things are getting better for you now.

OP if your still around don't let this man move in. Get rid of him for the way he treats your daughter if not for all the many other reasons

[Atenco]

I thought people like this were a Daily Mail myth

Well I still can't get past the OP allowing her new bf to treat her four-year-old that way. But unfortunately there do seem to be people out there having children just for the pleasure of holding a baby for a while and then not giving a shit about what happens afterwards.

[Doggity]

MeandMy I've been on MN for yonks and remember your threads, although I don't think I posted on them more than once or twice. I do think you might benefit from some counselling to talk things through. You were really struggling with that little girl and your anger was misdirected. I don't think you were abusive to her but you weren't exactly all arms open. She's always be the sister of your boys. Your DP was an utter shit and he is the one to blame, not your exSD. Your sons might want to have a relationship with her and she may become part of your extended family again. You do need to address your feelings around that whole period in your life for your own sake. It's clearly still eating you up and it doesn't have to be like this for you.