OH favouring his kids from previous relationships

[BobaFett86]

Am I being totally unreasonable here? My partner seems to think so! He has 2 kids by 2 different women. I think he keeps favouring his other kids above our 5 week old baby.
We broke up while I was 7 months pregnant because all we did was argue. He kept on prioritising his exes. They said jump, he said how high! He hasn't bought a single thing for our baby, yet has been giving his exes double the amount of expected child support.
We decided to get back together when our baby was born. But he still seems more concerned about his previous relationships/children. He arranged to have his kids for the weekend when our baby was just 2 days old, yet it wasn't even his weekend to have them! 5 weeks on, and he still hasn't given me a penny towards our baby. Yet I've had to give him money for travel fare so he can visit his other kids.
And now I am furious because this week I made plans with him to visit me and our baby (again, gave him travel fare money to make sure he could get here ok) and yet twice in 3 days, he has bailed on us, just so he can have his eldest daughter instead!! When I moaned at him about it, he accused me of trying to make him reject his daughter for my own gain!! And said that his ex 'needs' him to help her out with everything, even though she has a fiance who lives with her.
I also have a 4 year old from a previous relationship, and my OH always puts her down when she does something wrong. "My kids would never do that. I won't let you see them again because I don't want them picking up your bad behaviour" is a prime example of what he always says.
Apparently I 'cant handle' the fact that he has other kids. Am I in the wrong here?

[Doggity]

MeandMy I've been on MN for yonks and remember your threads, although I don't think I posted on them more than once or twice. I do think you might benefit from some counselling to talk things through. You were really struggling with that little girl and your anger was misdirected. I don't think you were abusive to her but you weren't exactly all arms open. She's always be the sister of your boys. Your DP was an utter shit and he is the one to blame, not your exSD. Your sons might want to have a relationship with her and she may become part of your extended family again. You do need to address your feelings around that whole period in your life for your own sake. It's clearly still eating you up and it doesn't have to be like this for you.

[Atenco]

I thought people like this were a Daily Mail myth

Well I still can't get past the OP allowing her new bf to treat her four-year-old that way. But unfortunately there do seem to be people out there having children just for the pleasure of holding a baby for a while and then not giving a shit about what happens afterwards.

[NZmonkey]

Meandmy I'm so glad you LTB. I remember you saying at one point just how bad he was actually treating you. Your problem always was him and not your DSD. As PP have suggested counseling may help to get past they feelings of resentment you still have about it all. I really hope things are getting better for you now.

OP if your still around don't let this man move in. Get rid of him for the way he treats your daughter if not for all the many other reasons

[stitchglitched]

You are not a horrible person, you have just got into a rut and this animosity towards this girl seems to have become a bit of habit that is hard to break. Sounds like counselling would be a good idea.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Well the OP is not returning so lets nick her thread

How are you finding life away from fuck wit and how long has it been?

You dont have to answer by the way and i really am genuine when i ask how uou are.

[IzzyIsBusy]

You were yes.

You dont have to be.
Seriously you had all the sympathy and support at the start.
BUT you continued to blame the little girl not the fuckwit.

It did not matter how much evidence and suppirt posters gave you, you just would not see she was not to blame.

You genuinly feel bad then stop with the digs and the vitriol against her and her mum. That is why despite nc people recognise you.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Yes you do.
You must see that how you feel towards this child is wrong?

I am sorry i was harsh but you were/are a very frustrating poster.

You put all of his faults on that poor girl. That was wrong but you would not listen.

I am pleased for you all that you got out. However you do need to sort out your head

[Lunar1]

Glad that you are out of it, I know your boys are young but try make time to get yourself the help you need.

[OTheHugeManatee]

I thought people like this were a Daily Mail myth

[Lunar1]

Is your ex managing to keep a sibling relationship between all his children meandmy? I hope things have improved for all of you now.

[stitchglitched]

Your behaviour was abusive. It may be uncomfortable to read but it doesn't stop it being true. I would have thought once you were away from the situation you would reflect more objectively and regret that you scapegoated the wrong person for your unhappiness. But instead you continue to have digs at her. Poor child isn't even in your life anymore and yet she is still the victim of your scorn.

I only hope that you don't poison your boys relationship with her, but your bitterness is so entrenched I don't see your boys being allowed to acknowledge that she even exists in your presence, let alone that they love her.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Nope. You refused to give her a proper bed and a small space of her own as you thought your boys deserved it.
She was at the same school as your son and you wanted to buy him the branded stuff but her the supermarket stuff.

You once had a go at dickhead and said nasty things about the poor girl all while she could hear you and you knew it.

You treated her badly and you know you did. The viitriol you have for her is so clear people recognise you after a name change.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Oh god yes i forgot. You were asked to have her for a few hours from the same school your child was at....such a hardship.

You took him on knowing she exsisted. I think you hoped she would dissapear and when she didnt you treated her like she was nothing. Not giving the girl a proper bed or clothes. Christ i am surprised you fed her.

Your ex is an arsehole. He was to her and he was to yours but you had a choice. And you chose to treat a child badly. In my eyes you were abusive to her.

Your poor sons.

[Oswin]

Time and time again you were told it was dp not DSD that was the problem. Yet you continued to resent her.

You really need to give yourself a slap. Feeling like that towards a child is fucked up.
Yes you obviously should get the money for your sons.
Yet you seem almost gleeful that your ex's ex and dsd will get less money.

Well that's less money for food and clothes ect.

Your fucking weird man.

You are bitter towards a child. That's fully crazy.

[stitchglitched]

So why aren't all your posts about how glad you are to see the back of HIM then?

[stitchglitched]

No one took delight in you being unhappy. Most people thought your partner was a douche and were upset that you were focusing your anger onto a kid who didn't deserve it. So you are glad she is out of your life, your boys sister whose only crime was to have the same shit Dad as your own children, but a different Mum. So now you are revelling in your victory over this 10 year old who had the nerve to spend time at her Dad's house and actually need stuff sometimes like a bed, food and clothing. Your behaviour and attitude towards her bordered on emotional abuse and your continued maligning of your boys SISTER, who you no longer have to lay your eyes on, is pathetic.

[IzzyIsBusy]

Nobody took delight in your unhappiness.

You were advised many times your dp was a fuck wit but you wouldnt listen.
You chose instead to start countless threads about how little you cared about DSD and how your dps shitness was all her fault.
You were a fucking numpty. And you chose to blame a child rather than that lovely unemployed non providing non supportive non parenting arsehole.