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Original poster

10 month old sleep issues

201 replies

ditziness · 16/03/2013 02:25

She's 10 months.she's never slept more than three hours. The last two weeks she's been waking 6-10 times a night. She screams so loud that she wakes the neighbours, who I can hear talking now. She's already been screaming six times tonight since 10pm. It's like torture. It's effecting how i feel about her, I'm genuinely less patient, I just hate her right now.

Hate co sleeping, can't sleep with her next to me in my arm pit pinching me and sucking. Can't stand the nagging feeling that that's the reason she sleeps so crap. Can 't do cc anymore either, the noise of her crying just makes me sob and feel like my head is going to explode. She doesn't give in either, none of this cries for an hour the first night, but sleeping happily ever after by the third. She just screams for hours until she gets fed.

I hate this. I don't know what to do

OP posts:
lagoonhaze · 18/03/2013 16:19

I bounce between am i depressed or not? I concluded no Im mostly exhausted.

Any H.V that tells you to do controlled crying isnt really respecting the situation and I would ask them for research that shows that controlled crying doesnt do any harm before they recommend such a method.

Pm me for the no cry sleep solution book. Ive alway been to tired to read it but have it on ecopy.

Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 16:24

she didn't say "do controlled crying" but she did say that I just needed to ignore her when she cried and wait till she got the message

OP posts:
lagoonhaze · 18/03/2013 16:33

Basically cry it out then !

BoffinMum · 18/03/2013 17:08

Do you know what? I think you are a bit depressed, from what you have written here. It might be a good idea to face that possibility. Can you make a double appointment with a sympathetic lady GP and talk it through?

BoffinMum · 18/03/2013 17:10

Meant to type 'probably are' not 'are'. I am not a therapist and can't diagnose people! But I have had PND myself and been in denial (like many others).

Offcolour · 18/03/2013 17:39

Ditzi, I was the same, weepy, hated my life, wanted to die. Told dh I wanted to die because my life was so miserable, just hours and hours on end reduced to trying to get a baby to sleep. Fits of rage, mostly in the middle of the night. Such dark times. I do wonder now if I had pnd but I actually think it was just the sleep deprivation over a long period, it isn't a form of torture for nothing. You get so confused by all the books and advice you don't know which way is up and every moment is spent worrying about sleep. Once dd started sleeping better I was fine. Obviously I'm not you, but don't underestimate the effect of sleep deprivation on your mental health.

Hopefully you'll get it sorted soon, I think you need to decide on a plan and stick with it. Millpond are great because they give you the plan and then provide email and phone support as you're carrying it out. Sorry to keep banging on about them, I just know what a difference they made to us and I think I share a lot of your feelings about cc and b- feeding. Tell me to shut up if it's not for you! Someone on here recommended them to me after I started a similar thread to yours (i had shaken my fist at dd's face when she wouldn't nap - I was appalled and frightened at how out of control things were getting) and she's slept really well ever since. Hope you have a good night tonight.

Offcolour · 18/03/2013 17:52

lagoon have pm-ed you.

TiddlerTiddler · 18/03/2013 18:34

Another vote for Millpond here. They spotted my DS's silent reflux due to the pattern of his wakening when they reviewed the diary we kept for them (alseep at 7 well fed etc and screaming again before 9pm for example). They were great. Tweaked my bedtime routine a bit too (we were going back downstairs after bath for last feed). But getting him help for his reflux was key to success. They were very supportive when I sobbed down the phone to them in my first phone call. I was losing my mind through lack of sleep. :(

Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 19:32

I can't afford Millpond tho, haven't got hundreds to spare.

Sounds good though . Thanks

OP posts:
Offcolour · 18/03/2013 20:16

Ok, sorry for going on about it. If you like, I'm happy to send you a copy of the plan they did for us. Your dd sounds similar to mine. Might help - a friend of mine used it recently as her ds had a feeding sleep association and it has made a big difference to her ds's sleep. Just on me your email if you want it.

MagicHouse · 18/03/2013 20:29

I still wouldn't rule out silent reflux. It's not easy to diagnose. Could you go back to another doctor? Whne my dd was prescribed infant gaviscon it was like a miracle. You can buy it, though I don't think they'll sell it unless your baby is 1 yr or above. To give it, you mix with a feed or else mix up with water and spoon/ syringe in after a breastfeed. It might be worth asking if you could try it if you think her discomfort is somehow linked to feeding. My dd was desperate to feed as it soothed her pain away.

Original poster
ditziness · 19/03/2013 03:05

Still every 45 mins. Nothing makes a difference

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McGilly · 19/03/2013 03:34

This may not be what you want to hear but my son was the same three months ago and I basically gave up trying to change it. I waited it out, gave him what he wanted. Saved me some emotional energy at least. Three months later he is quite a bit better. It is hideous but I promise you it won't last.

McGilly · 19/03/2013 03:36

There is a thread somewhere on MN about "waiting it out not crying it out". I will try and find it. I also recommend the Sears Fussy Baby book although some of the suggestions are definitely not for everyone. But it's good for at least reminding you that lots of babies are l

McGilly · 19/03/2013 03:38

There is a thread somewhere on MN about "waiting it out not crying it out". I will try and find it. I also recommend the Sears Fussy Baby book although some of the suggestions are definitely not for everyone. But it's good for at least reminding you that lots of babies are like this and your baby will grow fine, even if they catnap all night.

Offcolour · 19/03/2013 06:43

Hi ditzi, sorry you're having such a shitty time. The 45 mind thing is because babies sleep cycles are 45 mins and at the end of 45 they have a brief awakening (adults are the same but with longer cycles). sounds like your dd has learnt to associate going to sleep = boob so every time she comes to the end of a cycle she needs boob to get back to sleep. If you can break the sleep association so she can get back to sleep without help, you'll get longer chunks. She's probably also in a sleep regression which will makes things worse. The plan I sent is designed to break the boob association and teach her how to go to sleep herself - start it when you're ready and feeling you can stick to it and hopefully it will make real difference. Hugs, you sound just like me when I was in the midst of it.

Original poster
ditziness · 19/03/2013 08:55

Too tired To go out in the snow. Main objective to try and not shout at them both too much today

OP posts:
Offcolour · 19/03/2013 09:23

Sending Flowers, Brew and Wine in no particular order.

cerealqueen · 19/03/2013 23:47

These people do reasonable packages
Babysleepanswers.co.uk

We didn't have the money either for Millpond, and it was Christmas and we were so so desperate. They might stagger payment - we did over a couple of months.

I had a 3 yr at that stage too, we were all suffering so I really feel your pain.

There was a thread on here by Nectarina's on gradual retreat - could you try that? Will try and find a link.

cerealqueen · 19/03/2013 23:55

Right, found but can't link as on phone. Search for 'Nectarina's' in the search facility on talk and it will come up, called 'what worked for us', originally posted in Jan 2012.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

Offcolour · 20/03/2013 19:46

How's it going ditzi?

cerealqueen · 20/03/2013 21:46

found it

Original poster
ditziness · 21/03/2013 03:11

Thanks.

It's still rubbish. She's been up five times already tonight. I hate it so much. DS has gastroenteritis. We're quarantined. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope all day with them tomorrow. And then doing a night shift tomorrow

OP posts:
Original poster
ditziness · 21/03/2013 03:15

DS is waking up now when she's screaming and getting upset. DH and I are getting pissed off with each other, taking it in turns to sleep in the living room. It's rubbish. I want my bed and husband back. Had enough if this noisy demanding baby

OP posts:
Offcolour · 21/03/2013 05:46

Oh you poor things. Can you try to get some strength back before tackling it? Maybe get someone to take the dc for a few hours in the day so you can get some sleep? Then make a plan with dh and stick to it. is there someone to take ds overnight the first few nights of tackling it?

I hope ds gets better soon.

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