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Original poster

10 month old sleep issues

201 replies

ditziness · 16/03/2013 02:25

She's 10 months.she's never slept more than three hours. The last two weeks she's been waking 6-10 times a night. She screams so loud that she wakes the neighbours, who I can hear talking now. She's already been screaming six times tonight since 10pm. It's like torture. It's effecting how i feel about her, I'm genuinely less patient, I just hate her right now.

Hate co sleeping, can't sleep with her next to me in my arm pit pinching me and sucking. Can't stand the nagging feeling that that's the reason she sleeps so crap. Can 't do cc anymore either, the noise of her crying just makes me sob and feel like my head is going to explode. She doesn't give in either, none of this cries for an hour the first night, but sleeping happily ever after by the third. She just screams for hours until she gets fed.

I hate this. I don't know what to do

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Original poster
ditziness · 17/03/2013 22:31

Ps/ thanks for offers of bottles and books. Most kind, I will message you x

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Cheddars · 17/03/2013 22:45

I found the only way to night wean was to get dh to see to her every night. It took about 4 nights before she got the hint. Smile

It was hard on dh because he had work the next day but well worth it in the long run.

Good luck!

cerealqueen · 17/03/2013 22:51

OP, I swear you are me , as we all were just before christmas. DD2 waking up screaming 4/5 times a night, just wanting my nipple in her mouth, co-sleeping, exhausted. I could not go to bed early as DD2 was in it and would wake up as soon as I crept in the room and want feeing. I was so miserable and by the end of the week, hated the world and everybody in it. I said screamed some awful things sometimes and was wracked with guilt.

I got lie-ins at weekend so they were better.

DD2 at this stage had never slept in her cot, only in our bed and in the buggy.

We used Millpond, they won't make you do controlled crying if you don't want to do it. We knew what to do before using them but we had lost our way and our confidence and having the phone and email support was great.

It worked so well, she was so ready, she needed to sleep too. She now sleeps 11 hours at night and 2.5 in the day in her cot. We all sleep. I now love my bed again. Please message me if you need any other information or thoughts on it. I wish you well.

Idocrazythings · 17/03/2013 23:01

Don't feel bad about your title OP we all know you don't mean it and are just exhausted and stressed. I'd say a lot of us have been there too. I remember pushing dd1s bassinette back and forth on a Sunday night and feeling very anxious that the weekend was over and I'd have the whole week again to deal with her by myself (she was a screamer). At that point I struggled with feelings towards her, of course I loved her, but it was a very difficult time. She's now 7 1/2, absolutely gorgeous, very much loved and loving and blissfully unaware of how difficult it was for me initially. It will pass?

MsAkimbo · 18/03/2013 00:44

You sound like a wonderful mum at the end of her tether. I was totally at that point about 2 weeks ago. I told my husband I was ready to leave because my DD would just not sleep. At all. Not joking.

I called a nurse. As my DD is teething, she suggested:

-elevating the mattress of the cot to help balance the pain from her teeth from going to her head.

-putting an unwashed shirt of mine in the cot for her to cuddle with for security.

I'll be damned, she has been going to bed at 7.30 every night and waking up at 6 am a happy little bubble.

You have a lot of great suggestions. Hope something sticks and you get some rest. x

NishiNoUsagi · 18/03/2013 00:57

Good luck op, ds1 was an awful sleeper for his first year, then I got pg again quite quickly, couldn't sleep for being uncomfortable, ds2 arrived and is an even worse sleeper, still rarely goes through the night at 18 (18!!) months. On the plus side I've been surviving on 3/4 hours unbroken sleep (and often only 3 or 4 hours a night) for 3 years and I'm still alive! barely

I really hope you find something that works for you, it is soul destroying and I just want to curl up and cry most nights.

Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 04:05

She just doesn't give up. That's another night she's been up every hour screaming for me. That's getting near to a week. Was sleeping in the living room, but DH has just asked me to come and help as he's got to get up for work in 2and a half hours. She just doesn't get the message. :-(

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Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 18/03/2013 04:55

It's a sleep regression, lovely OP. It's horrible and awful but it's a sleep regression. You do what you need to do to all stay sane (i.e., you take half the night and your DH take the other half, alternate naps on weekends, co-sleep if it works better or don't if it doesn't, etc) and worry about habits and patterns later, I think.

Can anyone come and take her for a couple of hours later today so you can have a nap? Your mum or anyone?

Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 05:24

That's her up again. Just feeding her these last two times now as I don't want her to wake DH. So tired and fed up:-( feel like I 'be ruined all the weekends work by feeding her

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Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 05:25

No family near. Could ask friends, but have a thre year old too

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MmeThenardier · 18/03/2013 09:38

Sadness, guilt and a title that wasn't exactly what you meant - its the exhaustion. Anyone who has been there knows that it actually messes with your head.

You are going to come out of the other side of this OP and you're doing a great job of just surviving. tortoise is right just get through this by whatever means are necessary. Worry later about routine etc.

If someone has the baby will the three yr old let you sleep if you put on a dvd and lie on the sofa next to him?

Just wondered if you've checked if she's got a temperature? Although as you can see from all the posts that said 'you could be me', she probably isn't ill, but giving you areally hard time which is not unusual.

lagoonhaze · 18/03/2013 10:03

I've reported your post asking for change of title so hopefully will get done soon.

Ask your friends for help. I bet they will just didn't want to offer and be seen as interfering.

McGilly · 18/03/2013 10:35

Many of us have hated our baby's behaviour OP, or the situation. It does not reflect your feelings for your child. Brew

Offcolour · 18/03/2013 10:48

Op, really, please consider millpond. They changed our lives. Pm me if you want more info. They are highly recommended by lots of posters on here. Huge sympathy as I know how hard it is, it's like you're losing your mind. It is possible to turn your situation around without giving up breastfeeding or using controlled crying.

lagoonhaze · 18/03/2013 10:53

Offcolour would you mind pming me some brief details too? I'm on phone so can't pm you.

Offcolour · 18/03/2013 10:58

Lagoon, am on phone too but will pm later.

lagoonhaze · 18/03/2013 11:03

Thank you.

waterrat · 18/03/2013 11:43

OP I was in your position, weeping at night because I couldn't bear going through it again - baby attached to me for hours, never sleeping.

We used the advice of a Millpond trained HV - they also have a book - it did involve a bit of crying, but much less crying than was going on while he was up all night in our bed! We didn't have to leave the room - you stay and soothe them while not feeding. I also read No Cry Sleep Solution - it helped me mentally but wasn't practically quite so usuful.

One really helpful tip from NCSS - write down your aims and be clear what you hope to achieve - that really, really helped. So rather than think 'oh god I want sleep' - you can think right I want this baby to go 4 hours between feeds at night, and if they wake any other time, I will comfort any way but feeding - (rocking, cuddling, patting while they lay in the cot/ singing etc) - it does work honestly. and because you have set realistic aims, they are easier.

Yes your baby might cry and scream because they are used to the boob to settle them - but once they learn to fall asleep without it they will be much, much more contented, I promise you.

Within a few days we saw a result - no, it wasnt that thing 'oh a few hours of crying then he slept through' but he did sleep longer chunks and we completely stopped bringing him into our bed - if he needed us, we took turns sleeping on his floor next to the cot.

He was sleeping better, he was calmer, - I stopped BF at night at about 9 months? It was much easier than I expected and he started sleeping through at that point...not always, but frequently....

The important thing to remember is that it is okay to want to sleep. You matter too. And your baby can get love and reassurance from you without feeding all night long.

waterrat · 18/03/2013 11:44

oh and you have not ruined the good work - its fine to go back and forth, you will eventually get the strength and energy to push through.....I went back and forth a lot. I started feeding in the night out of tiredness even after he slept through! I think its a psychological thing inside you - the mother - to really , really trust your child doesn't need the milk and that you can muster the energy to be a bit tough...you will get there

saintlyjimjams · 18/03/2013 11:50

DS3 loved his hammock (is it an amby style - if so they are meant to be good for reflux) but I moved him out at 10 months as he started trying to turn in it and was looking a bit squished.

If you have the cash I would also try cranial osteopathy as it won't do any harm so will either do nothing (my experience) or be miraculous (a couple of friend's experience - especially for unexplained crying - I saw one particular baby daily and the difference was astounding).

MNHQ
RebeccaMumsnet · 18/03/2013 12:37

@ditziness

Actually the title of this thread is making me so sad. Mnhq, could you change it too " 10 month old sleep issues " and move the thread to sleep?

I feel really really sad tonight

Hi ditziness,

Thanks for the report, we have done this for you now.

Sorry things are so grim Sad Good luck.

Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 14:07

Thanks mnhq.

Sorry everyone, I feel so rude, you've all given me so much advice and time and I've not responded to much of it. I'm just so tired. And the kids are running rings round me. And I'm working Wednesday Thursday, have prep to do and am not getting round to it. It's all abit much.

I will sit down and have a proper think soon,

Took dd to the docs today, and doctor thinks she's fine, no issues

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Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 15:46

just tried to get her to nap for the last hour without feeding her without success. i don't like her again.

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Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 16:08

i guess the problem in having the thread moved in here is that noone looks in here.

just rang the health visitor, but i just feel patronised as they are telling me to suck eggs and mostly just saying to do controlled crying.

really fed up

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Original poster
ditziness · 18/03/2013 16:16

the doctor, my sister and the health visitor all asked me today whether I thought i was depressed and I denied it. I have too much good stuff in my life, i'm too fortunate to be depressed But today I'm shouty and weepy and utterly fed up of motherhood and this baby. Dreading tonight and work this week

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