10 month old sleep issues

[ditziness]

She's 10 months.she's never slept more than three hours. The last two weeks she's been waking 6-10 times a night. She screams so loud that she wakes the neighbours, who I can hear talking now. She's already been screaming six times tonight since 10pm. It's like torture. It's effecting how i feel about her, I'm genuinely less patient, I just hate her right now.

Hate co sleeping, can't sleep with her next to me in my arm pit pinching me and sucking. Can't stand the nagging feeling that that's the reason she sleeps so crap. Can 't do cc anymore either, the noise of her crying just makes me sob and feel like my head is going to explode. She doesn't give in either, none of this cries for an hour the first night, but sleeping happily ever after by the third. She just screams for hours until she gets fed.

I hate this. I don't know what to do

Nb one of the keys things they suggested was how to organise her day so that we were timing sleeps with her natural rhythms so she wasn't over-tired and fighting sleep. That made a tremendous difference.

Hi Ditzi

Is baby like this every night?

I know exactly how you feel. I used to sit in the afternoons and just cry because I was so tired. My eyes felt like they were bleeding!

My DD has just turned 1. She still doesn't sleep more than about 3 hours in a row. When she wakes she just rolls around, whines, grabs nipple then rolls back over and goes to sleep. Usually I don't mind but when I'm super tired I feel like screaming at her GET OFF ME!
It is hard.

We had a period where she woke up ALL NIGHT just crying. She HAD to have my nipple in her mouth otherwise she would scream the minute it came out! Within a week she had 5 teeth come through! Do you think she could be teethin?
That's the only thing I could explain that BAD period with!

Good luck xxx

Dd was a dreadful sleeper from 7 - 13 months. I can remember leaning over the banisters debating whether to just keep going.

The thing we didn't do (which we really should have done) is phone our parents and say "please come - we need help here"l They would have come. They would have helped. But we are not good at asking for help.

Is there anyone you can get to come and help? If they could look after the children during the day (just bringing the baby in for feeds) then you could get some sleep and may feel better enough to have some chance of deciding what is the right thing to do.

Sounds like torture

When she wakes up does anything else settle her other than bf? My guess is if not then you will have to work on that, so I would bf at 10pm (before I went to bed) and then aim not to bf again until 7am ish. Only offer water and lots of cuddles and reassurance but no feeding.

It will probably take a few more nights of hell but once she works out how to settle herself without a boob in her mouth then her overall sleep should improve.

As for cc it sort if sounds like she is crying a lot anyway so surely wouldn't make that much difference?! With my dd I would leave for 5-10min intervals while I put a pillow over my head regained some strength and then would go back in and reassure. I always knew though that i can not cope without sleep so was quite selfish focused on doing everything in my power to ensure dd did sleep.

Really hope things improve soon.

roll That's a massive leap you've made there, there is no suggestion that the op can't cope. Opinions like that are best kept to yourself.

Ignore that unhelpful comment op.

Roll, that is one of the cruelist things I have read on MN.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Rollmopses, that's an incredibly stupid and unhelpful thing to say. The OP is extremely tired and stressed out through lack of sleep, but she knows this and does have a partner who is helping her. She's also seeking solutions and taking advice.

OP I can't add anything further to what's been suggested. I hope tonight's a better night for you.

Rollmopses

If baby will take a cup there's no need for a bottle, surely? My DC2 and 3 went straight from breast to cup after DC2 refused to countenance a bottle for anything.

Roll clearly hasn't ever been sleep deprived! My ds was cmpi. He's 2 now n still wakes in the night though I think it's habit. If dh goes in he goes back off if I go in he wakes the whole house up!

One thing I will say though is no matter how tired us mums get you plod on through. Can you afford a night in travelodge or similar n leave it to dh? Let you get a full night sleep n then he does the same another day xxx hope it improves for you xx

Hi there
First off, peace and love all.
Do let us know if you'd like us to move this for you, won't you?

mine likes something up against her face like my breast ideally but a toy or rolled up blanket then i remove it once she is down.

i think its alot to expect of babies to go from noisy womb all crunched up to suddenly totally flat on thier backs.

swaddling didnt work for us - but i tried a few diff things like putting her proped up on v pillow next to me, so she was slightly elevated but also had that feeling on the sides, of it, in the day tried to put her down in different places so she got used to sleeping anywhere.

at the mo its the thing up agaisnt the face but she can sleep flat now.

poor you op - sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

ditziness
I am sorry you have having such a difficult time. It must feel grim to be constantly woken every night. Sleep deprivation can ruin anyone's mental health.

I feel that you should take your baby to the GP. It might be something a simple an ear infection keeping her awake. Teething is not normally as bad as you describe.

I feel worried about ditziness mental welbeing. (not meant in nasty way) It is shows real desperation to title a thread "I hate my baby". (Although I am sure ditziness doesn't hate her baby. ditziness do you think its possible that you might be suffering from depression induced by extreme sleep deprivation? Prehaps your health visitor or GP might be able to give you some support.

If you want to continue breastfeeding then it might be worth going along to La Leche League meetings to meet like minded people. (Who won't tell you to wean) I think that the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantsey is fanastic.

'Op has clearly stated she doesn't want to give up bf '

yes but it might come to a choice between bf and sleep.

Hello OP. My DD (now 2) was like this. At 10 months she was refusing to sleep at all without a boob in her mouth (and would wake every time it fell out). We both got no sleep; my DH also thought I had PND but I didn't, I was just murderously tired.

We tried EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. And we checked her out medically too. And as DD refused a bottle and also didn't sleep during the day, and as I also had a DS to look after, I was beyond exhausted. So after I had a (very public) breakdown one day, DH took her into our bedroom (her cot was attached to our bed) and banished me to my DS's room. We stopped the night feeds there and then, just so that I could get some sort of sleep. She went mental, but he stayed with her so that she wasn't alone. And after a long, long time she learned to go to sleep.

There were no quick fixes. We have had to do long bouts of cc, and then when DD has "relapsed" months later, we have had to do it again. I don't like cc. But my DD didn't respond to anything else and as my marriage was on the point of breaking down, my DS was suffering and so was my poor DD, who was angry all the time because she was knackered, cc was our only option. It took months but she gradually got better, and as she started sleeping she also became a happier baby, and me a better mother.

So in brief what worked for us was to stop night feeds, to hand DS over to DH at night (and later to take it in shifts), to have a plan between you about how you will handle it when she wakes up (consistency is key), to try cc, to accept that change would be gradual, and to ask other members of our family for help.

I really do feel for you. If you haven't had such a poor sleeper I don't actually think you can understand just how awful it is - well, I do understand. But it will come to an end. She will learn to sleep. Things will get better. And feeling like you hate your baby is something I remember - feel guilty about - but the level of sleep deprivation you are going through messes with your head. Devise a plan with your DH, write it down and stick to it. Good luck xx

Oh Darling! I experienced something similar with my first one. Ok, so you've not got family close, but can someone stay for a week? My mum stayed over and got up every time my son cried and she rubbed tummy, cuddled, etc. within a few days he learnt to sleep on his own. Husband was useless!

My son never took a bottle. I got him to take a cup by offering it to him every day until he finally took it. I also needed to go out one day without him. I fed him at 7:30, and not again til after 2pm. He survived, so I carried on doing that, but offering the cup frequently.

Loads and loads of love. I know how you're feeling. Be strong, and please get someone to help. X

She doesn't have to give up bf. But she can give up night feeds. I did for both of mine, at 9 mo and 10 mo respectively.

Tiredallthetime - I think how she feels is perfectly reasonable. That's how I felt. I wasn't depressed. I was exhausted. I did hate my DD. But I still loved her fiercely, I just wanted her to stop waking me up at night - there is a difference. My DH wanted me to go to the GP for PND but I knew I didn't have it, and I knew that the only thing that would help was getting some sleep. Which, sadly, the GP wasn't in a position to help with.

"yes but it might come to a choice between bf and sleep. "

I don't think that giving up breastfeeding is a magic wand to sleep issue. Plenty of babies who have been formula fed from birth have sleep issues. My son did not sleep through unti he was SIX YEARS OLD!!! (I wasn't mad enough to breastfeed him THAT long.)

The OP has to work out what is the right parenting path for her. If she wants to carry on breastfeeding then she might be better to find ways of living with broken nights than fighting it. (aka Nighttime Parenting by William Sears)

There are ways of night weaning. I had some sucess with the Jay Gordon method of night weaning. (Although dd now wakes up for a wee!) I gave dd lots of cuddles but refused to breastfeed her although I did offer her water.

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I think many parents have completely unrealistic expectations about children sleeping through.

Sorry bangwhizz but that is ignorant rubbish. Yes she might need to night wean her baby but it doesn't mean she needs to give up bf completely. I night weaned my children at 12 months and over and kept day bf up until they self weaned (one at two and one at over three)

Hi there - only skimmed through the thread, so sorry if this has been mentioned already. My DD was like this - she had silent reflux (where the baby brings up acid rather than milk). It's really painful. Breastfeeding soothes the pain, but starts another cycle, so it goes on. At its worst, my DD was only sleeping in 45min/ hour stretches all night and day.
HV advice was leave her to cry Finally a doctor diagnosed her and prescribed gaviscon. The first night she had it she slept 5 HOURS!!!! She also had ranitidine for a whil and beagn to sleep through. Might not be your dd's case, but definitely worth getting it checked out. (Other symptoms - coughing/ arching after and during feeds/ bad breath)
Good luck. Sleep deprivation is so horrible.

Candyandyoga- well good for you, but you are talking ignorant rubbish if you think that what applies to your child applies to every child.I had to go cold turkey with all 5 of mine

I used the Millpond Sleep Clinic, and they were great. The first thing I said was that I didn't want to do cc, so I didn't. They have other methods they use.

If I remember correctly I had to time a night time feed, then reduce it by a minute every few nights. It's the breast feeding equivalent of reducing milk volume. I was very sceptical but it really worked. One by one the multiple night feeds reduced in frequency, until I was only doing them at 7pm and 5am, which was manageable.

When I went back to work I expressed milk and DS finally took it from a Haberman Feeder bottle which I got from eBay.

Best of luck. I sympathise.

You are talking rubbish bangwhizz if your only unhelpful comment is that the op should stop bf. ridiculous thing to say. End of.

She really doesn't need to give up bf completely. Night weaning is very do-able; I just stopped with both of mine but carried on bf-ing them during the day until 12 and 18 months. Why would you have to jack it in entirely? That makes no sense to me.