FWR

[MarsScarlet]

FYI: I've name changed for this to avoid a pile-on.

This post is about the overwhelming negativity and hostility with the FWR board that new posters and posters with a differing viewpoint face if they attempt to use the board.

There is a persistent group within the board that are, to put it simply, hateful towards others. Despite posting there on and off for more than 4 years, I have never felt welcome, despite not holding any particular extreme views or being abusive to others. Without exception, I am accused of being another poster, or a man, a TRA, or some kind of paid activist. This occurs again and again until I leave a thread in frustration.

I’ve seen this happen to many other new posters. Few return. Why would they? Such an acidic atmosphere doesn’t encourage healthy discussion. I’d just like to discuss women’s rights, but this board makes discussion impossible.

I’m not exactly sure what the answer is, except for @MNHQ to request the board to tone down the rhetoric a bit and back off on any new names they may see on the board. Let people engage with you rather than actively drive them away.

Now, that's rude.

Civility didn't last long.

Well not that it matters but I've always found your posts to be intelligent, informative and compassionate, but I have a feeling that @MarsScarlet would count me in the big meanie group too😆

I don't see any examples of gangs of trans women hanging around the loos trying to post their giant bearded heads under the cubicle doors, but I'm supposed to believe in that, right?

But they might?

Don't we come on these boards to discuss and find out things? Especially from people that know better, or have thought about it more?

This is as much the same on the knitting board as on FWR. I've been around, I know things, but there's certainly been things that I've had my opinion changed on by knowledgable people on multiple boards, they've spurred me to think about things other ways, or pointed out things that I hadn't thought of?

Having someone with experience educate me isn't implicitly hostile. And someone having C&P information ready is just because a question has been asked so many times, of course they don't want to have that same discussion 100 times, and cut straight to the chase.

I see more rudeness, pile ons and background checks in Aibu !
But that's apparently excepted, if you don't feel you can keep up , just post somewhere you feel more comfortable.

To paraphrase..

If one of your opinions receives a negative reaction, you got a negative reaction to that opinion..

If all your opinions only ever get negative reactions... Perhaps your opinions are the issue..

I remember getting my arse handed to me once on abortion. I came from a point of ignorance, gave my opinion based solely and entirely on my lived experience. (As the Mitchell and Webb sketch would say 'what I reckon') and was robustly put right.

I did feel a bit upset at the time. But you know what - those women were right, I was being an idiot thinking my experience was the be all and end all and I needed to read and listen more. Now I have, I'm very much of the same opinion as the women who were more informed and shot my post down in flames. So ultimately, though it felt rude at the time, they were right, I was wrong and I've benefited from their bluntness.

Resilience is really underrated.

So, ok, just trying to tease OP's claim out.

Am I right in thinking that although no-one has said any words to the effect of "when I say xyz it's because I know better than you", you think some words posted have implied this 'manner'?

Can we not just assume that people contributing their experiences are doing so just to do that and not making any claim of superior knowledge?

I hate to bang on, but if it's the manner you disagree with, please please please could you provide an example of wording? I'm super sensitive to this as I hate the idea I'm being interpreted in a way I did not intend. I would truly, genuinely want to learn from it, even if it's someone else's words not mine.

Don't be ridiculous. You will have seen multiple videos of the toilet invasions in the US Senate building I'd have thought though? Been unfortunate enough to see the wanking in the women's loo mirrors ones? Heard about the porn category filmed under changing room/toilet doors/walls or from hidden cameras in the ladies? That mixed sex toilets account for the vast majority of sexual assaults in toilets?

I have seen this too.

No. What I've seen is trans people using the toilets without incident. Never had an issue, nor heard of anyone in real life who has.

I have absolutely no issues in my life whatsoever from these trans people I'm supposed to enjoy being aggressively radicalised against.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Well quite - if there's one thing I've learned on MN, it's never to proffer an opinion on how often you wash your towels/children/sheets or if you have a loo brush, unless you want to be told how disgusting your habits are or how you're crazy for putting so much work into something pointless.

How to prove a point so spectacularly 😂

Has anyone posted about gangs of trans women hanging about the loos trying to post their giant beater heads under the cubicle doors, or are you giving hyperbole a bash thus proving what I, and many other poster have been saying?

Maybe you are one of the ones who would benefit from listening to lived experience and knowledge about the importance of single sex spaces going from that post.

Ahh, so you're saying you're just basing it on your personal life experience to date, and are woefully uninformed about issues other women are having, and don't care about it.

Gotcha.

They have posted about that, yes. On numerous occasions. I have read them. I still maintain that I wish to have my own opinion on the matter, not yours.

Ah, the old you hate women then trope.

Nope. I just don't hate trans people because you're telling me to. Attempting to insult my character because I don't immediately agree with you is exactly why people choose not to engage with you.

You don’t get to speak for any other women though who don’t want to share their loos with biological men just because in your little bubble all is fine and without incident.

The victim of Katie Delatowski used a loo with dire consequences. Why don’t you go and look that up?

Although, and the point you’re missing, is that even if no incidents were to happen ever again, it still doesn’t give a man the right to go into such a space because they feel differently about themselves.

Nope. I just don't hate trans people because you're telling me to. Attempting to insult my character because I don't immediately agree with you is exactly why people choose not to engage with you.

Do you think this is particularly "civil" discourse?

Are we reading the same response? I pointed out that your experience isn't universal, and that other women have had issues with men in their toilets/changing rooms - and there's plenty of video and statistical evidence of that.

Neither of which leads onto 'I hate trans people' or 'you should hate trans people'

Honestly, I think the issue you're having is that you are making massive leaps and imagining people are saying something very different to what they wrote.

Who has said ‘you need to hate trans people’.

Do you not think that’s what people get exasperated with posts like yours. You exaggerate and make stuff up (you all hate trans people!) to cover your lack of examples in the face of people presenting facts and statistics re the importance of sex based spaces?

Has anyone said anything about trans men? Or could it be males that are the issue? 🤔

So don't speak for me then, assuming you should be telling me what to think and say.

This is on the feminism board, right? That's where women are supposed to go to be beaten down, insulted if necessary, as long as they start coming out with the correct rhetoric? That's feminism, is it?

Yes.

I would love to see an intersectional feminism board, MN feminism is very much akin to ‘white feminism’ and definitely not my cup of tea.

Have you contacted MN with the suggestion? You might find that they consider the Feminism Chat board is enough, but I could see that you could rightfully argue that it is more meaningful to have a board as you suggest.