FWR

[MarsScarlet]

FYI: I've name changed for this to avoid a pile-on.

This post is about the overwhelming negativity and hostility with the FWR board that new posters and posters with a differing viewpoint face if they attempt to use the board.

There is a persistent group within the board that are, to put it simply, hateful towards others. Despite posting there on and off for more than 4 years, I have never felt welcome, despite not holding any particular extreme views or being abusive to others. Without exception, I am accused of being another poster, or a man, a TRA, or some kind of paid activist. This occurs again and again until I leave a thread in frustration.

I’ve seen this happen to many other new posters. Few return. Why would they? Such an acidic atmosphere doesn’t encourage healthy discussion. I’d just like to discuss women’s rights, but this board makes discussion impossible.

I’m not exactly sure what the answer is, except for @MNHQ to request the board to tone down the rhetoric a bit and back off on any new names they may see on the board. Let people engage with you rather than actively drive them away.

And we understand, you find posters incivil. Yet here you are deriding and vilifing posters by miscategorising their opinions based on your personal preference of how people should be treated.

If anyone asks you a serious question, you deliver snark. Just like many of the other posters complaining about posters being snarky. The hypocrisy of that position is actually pretty clear when you read back the thread.

And of course the classic essay from Barra Kerr about the Stroop effect

https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

If you do this experiment you may still decide to accept or use female pronouns for male people, perhaps a little wiser, but cognisant of their influence on you and others. That’s a choice you may make. At least now you understand that you may be voluntarily suppressing your own natural response. Your eyes are more open.

Maybe you’ll continue to mentally translate ‘preferred’ pronouns and names in your head back to reality, every time, as I do. We give ourselves the best chance to understand the reality of the situation before us. It becomes easier with practice. I want my instincts as intact as possible.

Oh don't tone police me 🤣

If anyone asks you a serious question, you deliver snark. Just like many of the other posters complaining about posters being snarky. The hypocrisy of that position is actually pretty clear when you read back the thread.

Yes, it is. As @Datun said, it's Operation Let Them Speak.

Sorry meant to quote you @Helleofabore

No one ever puts up an argument to the contrary though, have you? An actual argument, not just some version of "be kind."

They aren't tone policing you, they're just pointing out you don't practice what you preach.

Because no one can be arsed trying to talk to you about something you don't want to listen to.

But we will listen. It's just a cop out to say we won't. If there's a compelling argument, then I'm willing to consider it.

There's another side to this. I'm sure it feels very enriching to be part of, yes, a gang of women against a common enemy.

I'm sure likewise it feels "really enriching" to be bravely striking a blow for "trans rights" by complaining that women are insufficiently polite when they are talking about their basic rights to privacy, dignity and safety.

And if you can't be arsed to talk to us if we won't listen, why do you continue with your be kind bullshit when you know we won't listen to that?

why do you bother posting at all?

We see you.

A bit like yourself.

It really is Operation Let Them Speak.

Going from ‘oh god what a cringe and ridiculous post/response, please stop’ to ‘please, keep posting!’.

But we will listen. It's just a cop out to say we won't. If there's a compelling argument, then I'm willing to consider it.

It is a cop out because these posters know full well that they don't have a compelling argument.

Exactly. Why do they bother posting at all if they know we won't listen?

larklane that song has been playing in my head for some pages, now.

probably because there is no argument. Arguing in these situations is often pointless as most people are coming from established and immovable POV.

There is a chance of an exchange of views, possibly (hopefully) an understanding of each others stance, but rarely any movement in those stances.

Its my belief, and people are always welcome to disagree, that arguing often achieves little and upsets many. I prefer discussion and coming to an understanding, even if it doesn't shift a POV.

That works when participants are in good faith, Winterbones.

Unfortunately they aren't always.

But arguing is really just debate, and debate is important. They don't ever try to engage with the point. Whereas gender criticals can and do engage with the issues and put their side across, along with facts and stats. The pro-trans side only ever resorts to calling us mean or saying there's no point because we won't listen.

This thread is nearly full.

i know, and my thirst for knowledge finds that an awful pity on these subjects... when i'm reading to learn, the arguing derails the opportunity for me to learn something.

Well thank god for that

If people won't engage in good faith, there's no point even having a discussion.

But every time that anyone says "oh no I have a brilliant, killer argument, just not going to share it because reasons" I'm going to point out that it's highly unlikely to be the case.

abso fuckin lutely.

It's a tedious waste of time.

FWR is a great board, I really appreciate everyone there.

Fin