it happens so often on here, but I opened his mobile bill by accident and guess what?

[AreYouCallingMeDarling]

yep

up to 30 texts a day to number that I find out is another woman

Just friendship says he

hahahahaha

I am a regular btw. Just don't want my mum reading this and knowing it is me. Or anyone else I know

I feel so feckin stupid

It is the middle of the night and I probably won't get any answers. But that is fine

Do NOT send her a text. Do NOT talk to her.

Other than to maybe say that unless she gets her filthy fanjo off that base this instant and away from your husband, you WILL report them both.

I would report them both for bad conduct, to be honest.

Christ, I don't want to talk you out of sending a text. In fact, I want you to phone her, and say calmly "get your fucking hands off my husband, you little tramp, and expect a call from your CO"

(are they both officers, BTW? not that it makes a difference, don't say if you;d rather not)

they are not officers

soo sorry to hear this, i know it is really awful. Think long and hard about what you want and whether you could have him back. I found that after my h's affair I couldnt ever trust him again and I am now relieved, if slightly shellshocked that it is over. Have just picked my boys up from h's house and shared a glass of wine. We are starting to get on reasonable terms at last but it isnt easy. I also lost loads of weight with the stress. I look loads better, H was stunned as I came back from London in a new killer suit as I have just been for interview. I wouldnt reccomend it as a diet plan though Take care of yourself, thinking of you...

not comm officers anyway

i could call her

What Quint said

I would report both of them
what a bastard he is he doesn't deserve you or his children
I would make him leave until you can decide what to do make him realise what it would be like to really be without you and cut all contact with him until you speak to him on your terms not his snivelling crying feeling sorry for himself that he got caught terms

oh god, just caught up with all of this. Hope you are ok, well obviously you are not, but you know what I mean.

If your H (cant say DH) is reading this - what a cunting knob head. What goes around comes around, and one day you will be regretting your actions big style.

He has ended it with her - he did it once face to face, and once to confirm it on the phone when I could hear (I asked him to do that one - he did the first on his own)

if you DO call her, make sure you are calm - for gods sake don't cry. Icy cool, babe.

I think you may have justification on compassionate grounds for him to move jobs before January. Maybe he could be gapped. I think if he carries on working at the same base as her, you will find it very hard to deal with; I would be telling him you wanted him to talk to his CO. Which he won't like AT ALL.

haha Fabs - he is really freeeeeaked out by my calm. He thinks I am emotionless. What he does not know that I am a swan - I have perfected SWAN

I wouldnt get involved with the OW. I thought long and hard about this one and decided not to speak to her or tell her H as she was also married with a family. I didnt want to be responsible for breaking up another family just to get back at the OW. I know how awful it is. What will you gain from talking to her, unless of course you want to warn her off...

He has to wake up and face the music, be responsible and deal with the mess he has gotten himself into. He should talk to his CO, before you do.

I have just seen this and I just wanted to add my support.

What an utter wanker. I know you already know this but he has lied to you for four months, cold you really ever trust him again???? I know I couldn't!

He has spoken to his (I think) Sarg and told him. The posting is a promotion. I know nothing of how it all works (non military. background of communist tendancies)

What is SWAN?

If he has spoken to his CO then you should definitely report her.

So what are your thoughts at the moment - stay with him or kick him out? because if he was my DH he'd have his belongings in binbags by now. you DO seem v calm (well done Swan!)

fabio is right you should be able to get him moved before jan
how dare he call you emotionless what he wants to see you weeping and crying over it

LadyT - swan - calm on the surface, paddling like fuck under water!

Swan -Looking calm and serene on top of water whilst paddling like farking crazy underneath.

Just wanted to add my support too. Have been there with finding out such shocking things. I know exactly how you are feeling.
xxxx

He has talked about leaving tonight as well. So that he can come and live with us full time.

I only wanted tell OW that I was going to let her have him, but have decided to keep him for a bit (which is what I have told him - I am hanging on to him for a while to see...) but if he comes near her again she can keep him.

Ahhaa!