Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Also @Heyandheytoday how many mutual friends do you have. You know, your friend Carrie, who you have known since you were six, has been dating his best mate from school for eight months.

You seriously need to wait until you have triangulated who he is.

This was how it worked with dating when I was younger!

OP, I do wonder whether his situation is as he has described it.

Could it be that he is going to 'explain' that he is 'separated' and that his wife lives abroad and, errr, it's OK for him to be seeing other women and blah blah blah.

I hope that I'm wrong, but it's a possibility.

He doesn't do casual sex but has sex on the first or second date? That's a stretch. It's far to soon to be planning that this will last. Just enjoy yourself, keep him well away from your kids and see what happens.

Oh I see! I'm not very au fait with dating apps!

To be honest I think you are the one pushing it by even thinking about being exclusive . Let’s face it, he has got you bedded in two dates then nipped off to Singapore. Some cynics might say he got what he came for then made an exit. He could have waited for sex until he got back , or was he trying before he was buying?

It would be lovely if it all worked out, but remember that there are four people in the deal, your kids, you, him. And while you can make choices for yourself, as can he, your kids don’t get that option, so you need to factor them into YOUR choices. Just take it slow, if it is going to to the romance of the decade then it will be, but if not remember who will be the one(s) picking up the pieces.

I think you need to be wary. It does sound very love-bomby to me. Proceed with caution and good luck but look out for signs of controlling intent/ behaviour and have boundaries like a motherf**ker.