Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

It is a known concept that certain man like to go for younger women because they believe they are easier to manipulate and control. On the surface of this he sounds like the perfect man, but that is how he is reeling you in!! If he is exactly who he says he is then why would he pursue someone who two young children? A lot of men who are fathers themselves cannot be arsed to parent their own children, so why would he want to take you and yours on when it seems as though he has a very high flying lifestyle. You won’t be able to travel around with him for work and have luxury breaks all the time. He could “easily” find a woman who would be available for such activities.
This Is absolutely not a diss on you by the way OP , I’m just trying to say this is how most men would think.

People generally comment based on similar stories that have happened to them or someone they know.

Many people post about being in a situationship for years and everyone always says 'get rid, you will end up broken hearted'. I have been in 2 relationships like this....one I married and have 2 beautiful almost grown up sons with, and the current one I now live with.

My previous partner started off exactly how you describe your situation.....it ended up being the worst experience of my life. It almost broke me, he was a total narcissist, I had never seen such cruel treatment of someone let alone had it done to me. He told me he loved me after 12 days, we were already gf/bf at this point. He moved in about 4 months later which prompted his parents to sell their house and buy a small apartment (so he couldn't go back I presume!). He also love bombed my children, always buying them presents and going over the top. They loved it at first but then grew to hate him.

I really hope you get the positive outcome like I have had in the situationship examples and not the narcissist experience!

Do some research into narcissism and be on your guard and don't let him meet your children.

It sounds a bit unbalanced and you sound grateful that he is attracted to you, which is a bit weird considering you are a good looking younger woman. Why wouldn't he be attracted to you? You don't know each other yet, so either of you could decide at any moment that the other one is annoying or not for them.

His casual sex comment is a line to make you feel special. All men do casual sex unless they have an embarrassing problem or strong religious/moral convictions. He clearly doesn't have either of those as he has already had casual sex with you.

A 37 yo was on a 6 year-long relationship, and they broke up because they ‘met young’ and drifted? He was 31. How old was she?

I don’t understand why someone who doesn’t believe in casual sex has sex with someone on a second date. Unless it’s a line to get women into bed…”I don’t normally do this, but you’re the exception because of our connection.“

HRTFT, but just seen he's 37. Sorry, my money would be on lovebombing because in my (55 years of) experiemce he'd have been snapped up and stayed snapped long before now.
That is unless you think soulmates exist, they don't; HTH.
Edited because I have insomnia and am severely sleep deprived.

All of the people I know ho have “famous” parents (in whatever capacity—well known wealthy business owner, etc) have all been entitled snd next-level self-important. Keep your eyes open for this, OP. You’ve met him twice—the mask won’t have slipped yet.

A couple of things going on here. A man who likes to be the lead character and control the relationship from the start. The biggest red flag is creating suspense about the talk. It doesn’t matter about the physical and material aspects of his life. These are not indicators of his character. Or who his father is, If OP is displaying empathy or vulnerability and he is looking for someone like that, it is very easy to mistake the intensity as something else.

It should probably feel calmer, honest and open. OP is in control of her own life and shouldn’t be handing any control to him. OP needs to set boundaries and not follow what he wants because he seems a great catch. OP is right to look for red flags and not ignore any confusing signals if something feels off. Slow it down and ensure there are no more cliffhangers or secretly disguised commands.

I thought the same, he wasn’t young, at 29. Not the first thing that hasn’t really added up.

Stay grounded but also remember for lots of people being exclusive is automatic and they don't date more than one person at a time so for him it may not be a big deal.

When I met DH, he was 35, single, no kids, very handsome, good job etc, and I was 38, and divorced with 2 kids. He asked to be exclusive after about 2 dates. We are still together and very happy, 18 years later! Currently mid 50's and planning an epic retirement together. Good luck!

I had a similar progression with my partner - met and had a spark, had sex on the second date, agreed to be exclusive on the third date shortly before he went abroad for two weeks (on a family holiday with his parents and brother). We fell in love very quickly though didn't officially say it until a couple of months in. I also have a child, he doesn't have any and I too was worried that he wouldn't want to be with a woman who did, but it was all fine... he didn't meet her properly until about six or seven months in (which I know some will think was still too fast) but it all went well. We've been together 3.5 years now and getting married next year.

It absolutely can happen - all I would be wary of is if you feel he's being a little over the top with the way he's going about things, making grand pronouncements etc. I never felt my partner was love-bombing me despite the speed at which things went, because he was always careful to say that we didn't need to rush things and he just wanted us both to be comfortable and go with the flow. Hope for your sake this guy is a good one!

Oh op, EXACTLY this happened to my cousin 25 years ago. He visited the UK, told her she was the one, after two days, that he'd never met anyone like her, he may as well forget every other woman now because he'd met HER and she's just perfect, etc.

As daft as I was back then when it came to my own dating life, it was so clear he was taking the mick with my cousin. She couldn't see it, and her other friends were stupidly telling her that I was "just jealous". (I truly wasn't, I don't feel jealousy in general, and it was obvious what was going on).

Then she flew abroad alone to meet him, to surprise him, telling her family she was overseas for work. That's when the shit hit the fan. I told her mother immediately (my aunt. But it turned out that he didn't see her even once when she was out there.

Yes, it unsurprisingly turned out that he was married with 3 kids, and he was a minor star in his own country, so when he had visited the UK he thought he could have whatever he wanted. Which was casual sex with my cousin in London, and I can only imagine now horrified he was when she followed him to his home country!

Op, I can guarantee he hasn't "stopped every other effort to meet someone" because he's now met "the love of his life".

Agree with this

Actions speak louder than words. You barely know this man and slept together already. So, he does do casual sex

This sounds very concerning for love bombing, sorry to say.

The way to find out is to take some control back. Tell him it’s all going a bit fast and you want to slow things down a bit and take more time to get to know each other. A genuine man will respect this. If he gets annoyed, tries to make out you don’t trust him, acts like a victim, threatens to walk away etc. you’ll know who he really is.

Agreed, the moody arsehole that's jealous of your kids and called you a stupid cunt.. and were considering leaving earlier in the year.....the guy you told that didn't love him any more?

That wonderful guy?? 😂

Has he been messaging you while he’s away or just radio silence?

What are you talking about? 'Single' isn't the opposite of having children. Jesus Christ.

Oh dear!

removing my post.

Yeah, we had a very rough patch, but are back on track now.

@Heyandheytoday

maybe he feels your ‘out of his league’ looks wise?

if he looks like the celeb you have suggested, which famous woman most resembles how you look? Just to give us an idea @Heyandheytoday