Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

What? This alone is a a massive red flag.

Also - remember, these jealous men usually projecting - they are themselves are cheats and accuse their partners of their own sins.

I've slept with quite a lot more people than my partner and he is aware of it but doesn't probe it - who cares what I did when I was 20 (I'm 42). This guy sounds controlling and looking for problems as pp have stated. This obsession with body count is positively teenage. Find someone mature who can take you as you are. X

Throw this right back at him!

“If I thought you were the kind of sad-sack red pill wanker you’re turning out to be, I’d have blocked you on day 1”

honestly love, I’m nearly 60 and my son’s dad was like this. The damage he did to me was awful, took years to recover.

this is the tip of a VERY ABUSIVE iceberg

rip the plaster off now, end it, today, this very second and don’t look back. This is a very dangerous man. Trust me.

It's none of his business. Get rid of him.

Life is too short, just move on. If he’s this bothered about something that happened 27 years ago I can imagine minefields over minor stuff that could happen now eg someone looks at you, you have a male co-worker…Honestly, life does not have to be this complicated. You don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate someone else’s nonsense.

focus on this feeling

now block him and you can feel like this for the rest of your life.

he’s a real wrong ‘un.

my ex is now late 50s, he’s no different to how he was back then.

PLEASE PLEASE END THIS

You think it's normal to be told by a partner that they wouldn't have dated you "if they had known"?

What possible purpose can sharing a list of names, serve? Unless you are both privy to, or able to trace back, the sexual history of everybody on the list, everybody on their lists, etc etc.

It's meaningless as a means of ensuring sexual health. Much better to wear a condom until you get tested. And keep your sexual past to yourself unless you want to share it/feel it's helpful to.

did date a guy before who was like this but we broke up and this man asked me today if it was because he found out things that he didn’t like about my past

This man dislikes and despises you for being a woman with a sexual past. I'm finding him more and more disturbing the more you post about him. He's actively humiliating and abusing you.

It is not being asked for good or valid reasons. End the relationship.

FFS, dump him. Then you can feel peace all the time!

That type of questioning really sucks and can make you feel shame where you shouldn’t feel it.

I don’t disagree with other posters about watching this for coercive and controlling behaviour, however I have another perspective to throw in the mix. Look up “retroactive jealousy OCD”. It’s a real thing and can be very debilitating for those suffering with it and the partners of those with it.

It can be worked through (like any other aspect of OCD) with therapy, CBT, understanding, annti-depressants (which can help with OCD struggles) and curiosity… but ultimately whether this relationship is for you is entirely up to you.

@2026dreams do you live together? Is that why you won't dump him? Free yourself

Fuck that. Tell him you can't discuss your body count as there's still an ongoing trial and you would really hate it if he went the same way as the others!!

BIN! Such a red flag

I read a few replies and then decided to read all of your posts OP. When I got to this one, I was completely gobsmacked!

OMG! I assumed you must have been a teen or early 20s, to not know if this was a normal part of a relationship. Bin him!

Then, to read further and see you feel better because he's not talking to you? Baffling! It shouldn't have taken him to stop talking to you, it should have been you dumping him and blocking him.

I'm a bit worried that perhaps you are either naive or vulnerable yourself to not have recognised the red flag parade. I'm not being flippant either, I'm serious. Please Google the Freedom Program and think about doing that before you get into another relationship. Someone mush better for you is out there, but you want to be well equipped to recognise who is right and who is a waste of any time and energy.

Its not normal amd its not okay. Everyone has a past. Its not a reflection of your value as a woman. If he's worried about his sexual health then both go together to the sexual health clinic for tests before having unprotected sex. This is more about determining if you are a low/ high value woman. Its gross. Id bin him. He's watching to much Andrew Tafe.

This man is an insecure, envious, controlling little creep and in his 50’s it is absurd he is asking for your ‘body count’. I have only heard that phrase used by incels.

Break up with him asap and tell him he is jealous, controlling and insecure, it is not normal to fixate on someones past at his age and especially not normal to ruin someones night out by accusing them of being with other men. He is controlling you and probably trying to alienate you from your friends because you will soon just give us and not go out.

How is being single worse than being with him?

Get rid of that fuc#er!! Men want to humble women so much it makes me sick!

His controlling and diminishing behaviour won't just be about this issue (which isn't an issue to normal people) @2026dreams . If you get beyond this, it will be something else, then something else.

Massive red flag about the sort of person he is in relationships and should you continue with him, thre is worse to come.

I don’t think it’s at all normal and, having come of age in the mid-80s when HIV infection was a death sentence, i wouldn’t rely on anyone’s recounting of their sexual history (experience has taught me that men tend to minimise anyway - in fact, my dad warned me never to believe what a man says about his sexual history because they tend to play it down and, whenever i’ve seen this tested, he’s been right).

I would insist on testing. I slept with about a dozen men before my DH but he is the only man for whom i ditched the condoms once it was clear we were serious.

Ditch this guy. This man is not a safe partner for you. He’s nasty.

This sounds so controlling of him, it would be a huge red flag for me. Fine, share your body count but why does he need further details? How long have you been with him OP?

Let him move on to his next victim

And you are still with him, why????? Use that anger to dump his controlling arse. Now you’ve found out he’s a controlling begging arsehole, you can say he’s not who you want to date either!

He finds your past “unacceptable”, does he?

Well, the way he’s behaving at present is totally unacceptable.

It’s not normal. He’s a very insecure man.

This kind of obsessive behaviour won’t go away and he will make your life hell.