Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

Well done, OP. Hope you find a much nicer person and that he gets some therapy to help with his jealousy and insecurity.

Not normal. My husband knows about my previous significant relationship and that’s about it - mainly because there are still mutual friends. I vaguely know he lived with someone a few years before he met me and had a partner for a couple of years in between. I’ve no idea who else he has dated / slept with and don’t care. Same with me, I’ve never felt the urge to tell him all about my uni boyfriends or casual dating in my 20’s!

The most important thing is both parties take a full STI test & are open about results. No one should feel judged by the decisions they made years ago.

Agree - don’t know how knowing every single person has slept with makes it safer? The only thing that makes it safe is an STI test or condoms.

You can catch an STI whether you are promiscuous or not.

No. This is dangerous. No good can come of telling him. Even if you try to give him a little information to keep him happy he will push and push for more then want details. Then all of that will be used against you. You need massive boundaries if you are to stay with him. But best if you don’t.

Completely disagree with that poster! You've done the right thing, you should be blocking him on everything, definitely not talking to him about it.

Probably because he sounds like a teenage incel and you've put up with it for years?

He is wrapped up in misogyny the only way “men” like this will learn is if they are dumped by every woman they behave this way to. Don’t accept it.

He's been red-pilled. There's no age limit on that. Well done for ending it OP, this was only going to get worse and worse.

It’s odd I admit
this is not how he presents in public at all or when he is with other people

Oops! missed your update when I posted - well fucking done for leaving!
I wish nothing but loneliness for an abusive control freak like him.
Hope you can relax now and have lots of fun from now on. Have an old-school MN

It wasn’t meant to be unpleasant. Just an observation. I was surprised when you said he was 50 (and I assume you are of a similar age.)

I think there is generally more of a robustness in not dealing with and dwelling on this type of behaviour when we are older. So I was just surprised.

This is all you need to remember to know you've done the right thing. I met my dh when we were in our fifties and we have never felt the need to discuss our past sex lives. We are adult enough to know that at our age we both have a past and it holds no bearing on our future. Wishing you all the very best op.

Im guessing this is what he has fixated on to put her in her place, it is was not this then would be something else @BMW58 his mask has slipped, he was always this insecure and controlling, ramped it up now he thinks she is three years in and wont leave. But she has, hooray!

Tell him to jog on

Get rid of him it's not good being questioned about the past relationships as it doesn't help things

Glad to hear that you brought things to an end

For the future
Your past belongs to you & you only
People definitely do not need to know numbers or details

Bin him big red flag my ex once told me she had swx with 10 guys in a row seriously makes you question your decisions in life. Personally things like that should stay in the past where theh belong a new relationship needs to be just that a new relationship! Good luck hes a narcissist

3 years together ! gosh and he wants to waste his time asking this.

He really does sound like a teenager.

I would have told him that I stopped counting at 100, with a completely straight face,

I’ve not had anyone ask me this since my 20s, and I always felt it was a feeler to see how sexually experienced you were.

however, my standard answer was always ‘more than 3, less than 100’, and close it down like that.

Anybody using that phrase is a prat. Is he a teenager?

I’ve had conversations about this but just in passing and not counting up or particulars - but then one partner was wanting to know in detail, wanted to make sure I wasn’t “ a revolving door” then thought something in my past might have happened 🤷‍♀️ wtf nothing had happened and that’s two red flags niw

he was looking and searching and I gave him a load of bullshit in the end and then that made me feel uncomfortable as I don’t usually lie

in my heart I knew the relationship was over

he was 50s

i let it go on for too long but had shut down inside, fortunately he didn’t live with me and it was long distance- so it fizzled out

Not normal. He's going to end up being super controlling. Get rid

It’s not normal and he is controlling

run!!!