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Boyfriend can’t accept my past

248 replies

2026dreams · Yesterday 21:05

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · Today 09:07

2026dreams · Today 08:55

I guess I can get my head around why someone cares about what I did 25 years ago, he said he doesn’t know me anymore

Don't even try, that's giving him headspace. And the bloody cheek of the man to say 'he doesn't even know you any more' as if everything is YOUR fault.

Slugfest · Today 09:08

Excellent news OP. Block him on everything and be resolute, don't have anything to do with him again. Onwards and upwards !

EvieBB · Today 09:08

2026dreams · Today 08:55

I guess I can get my head around why someone cares about what I did 25 years ago, he said he doesn’t know me anymore

Well done for dumping him OP👏🏻👏🏻
It was only going to get worse, (ask me how I know)....you've dodged a bullet, believe me.
Tell him that conversely, you do finally know him....to be controlling.

Askandyforcompo · Today 09:09

Well done! He is obviously very controlling and you don't want to live like that. It would only have got worse.

wheelywheelynice · Today 09:11

I thought everyone knew the answer is always, always three!
OP you need to take a look at Burned Haystack Method to see how truly toxic he is, and how to avoid men like him.

Fortuity · Today 09:11

2026dreams · Today 07:34

That’s why I wouldn’t give an exact number or go through it one by one I told him the normal amount but he seems to want a forensic explanation of anyone I have been with

Did he explain why? It sounds really prurient, as if he wants to hear the details for his own private enjoyment. Otherwise what would be the point of having all this information? It's not like you can change your past, he either accepts you with that past or leaves.

2026dreams · Today 09:13

Fortuity · Today 09:11

Did he explain why? It sounds really prurient, as if he wants to hear the details for his own private enjoyment. Otherwise what would be the point of having all this information? It's not like you can change your past, he either accepts you with that past or leaves.

I actually don’t know why exactly he needs to know the details to judge whether I am pure enough I guess

OP posts:
2026dreams · Today 09:14

EveryoneUsingOutro · Today 09:02

All of this.

@WhereYouLeftIt agreed, thank you for taking the time to write such a helpful post

OP posts:
2026dreams · Today 09:15

wheelywheelynice · Today 09:11

I thought everyone knew the answer is always, always three!
OP you need to take a look at Burned Haystack Method to see how truly toxic he is, and how to avoid men like him.

Why three though ? Is that the acceptable number ?

OP posts:
Meteorite87 · Today 09:16

Well done @2026dreams

NeelyOHara · Today 09:19

Good work, what an absolute wanker.

Littlegreywolfcub · Today 09:23

2026dreams · Yesterday 22:00

I just can’t understand why he cares so much about something that happened 25 years ago

I can - it's because he's a twat.

There are many of them unfortunately Sad

As pretty much everyone else has said - ditch the stupid bastard.

WannaSweetie · Today 09:23

Jealousy & insecurity at a guess. The fact that you’ve had more sexual partners will be eating away at him, were they better? Had a bigger 🐓 , satisfied you better, performed better? It’s not you, it’s him, it won’t get any better, throw this manchild back.

Littlegreywolfcub · Today 09:27

Apologies @2026dreams just read your update. Good move.

nofacenonamenonumber · Today 09:40

Maybe you could talk to him about it

Strawberrryfields · Today 09:41

Good riddance. He should really work on his insecurities before dating, he’s clearly not ready for it. Hope he does this before finding another poor woman to foist them on to.

I think it’s normal to give a snapshot of dating history but details of every fling from 30 years ago?! Get a grip.

MagicUser1 · Today 09:42

Sadly, I am not in the in the slightest bit surprised he has issues with you going out. I bet he swung between accusing you of being a slut etc and him being insecure because you're more experienced than him. Plus, of course, he just wants you to spend time together - why would you want to be out there when you could be with him?

I hate men sometimes.

Purplecatshopaholic · Today 09:47

Well done on getting rid of this controlling twat. I’ve never discussed previous sexual partners with current ones. It’s not their business, or mine.

EvieBB · Today 09:47

Fupoffyagrasshole · Today 08:44

why are you even giving this guy so much headspace - id have just said this isn't working for me anymore - bye! blocked - move on with my life

Because it's not easy to end things when you're in love....even if they are being a narcissist prick because they can also be v v charming....ask me how I know. Thankfully OP has dumped him now

Saracen · Today 09:47

That is totally unacceptable. I think it might be fair enough for him to ask whether you've slept with anyone very recently, so he knows whether to ask you to do a STD test. Beyond that, no.

2026dreams · Today 09:49

nofacenonamenonumber · Today 09:40

Maybe you could talk to him about it

he isn’t rational to talk to

OP posts:
CitizenofMoronia · Today 09:50

Sorry let me correct your OP..
I met this weirdo who showed me all the red flags so I just dodged a bullet, lolz
go me... next.

PleasantPedant · Today 09:51

2026dreams · Today 09:15

Why three though ? Is that the acceptable number ?

I thought it was two. One would look like you might be comparing him to your ex.
Two sounds suitably modest without being an obvious lie.

My response would be 'You don't need to know that' or 'None.' (the DC might suggest otherwise but hey ho).

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