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Original poster

Is a 10-night lads holiday too soon with a 3-month-old?

252 replies

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:22

Hi just looking for peoples opinions on this. Interested in hearing both a female and males opinion as my partner doesn’t seem to think he’s doing anything wrong. We’ve just welcomed our second baby. Our eldest is 3 and youngest is now 3 weeks. My partner has just booked a lads holiday to the Caribbean in December for 10 nights. Baby will have only just turned 3 months old then. I can’t help but think it’s too soon for him to be going for such a length of time but he seems to think it’s fine. Wondering what other people’s opinions are? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Pumpkindice · 27/09/2026 17:01

Why would he even ask for your permission, your his partner, not his mum. He should be capable of working out himself whether it's a good decision or not.

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/09/2026 17:03

It would be too much for me.

My DH has limited holiday and we have limited money to spend on holidays. If he chose to spend such a chunk of both on a lads holiday rather than on the family that would be an issue. And way more so at a time when you are starting out as a family with baby and toddler.
A pre-booked long weekend, family member or best mate's wedding, stag do, significant birthday celebration would be OK. But 10 days long-haul leaving you with baby and toddler is not on.

floofydoofy · 27/09/2026 17:10

This kind of selfishness would be the beginning of the end for me, OP (although I'm sure it isn't the beginning of the selfishness if he thinks nothing of it despite your opinion...).

I thought my DH was bad enough going on a 4 night stag do when I was 36 weeks pregnant (and that was booked/paid for before I was even pregnant, and it was his best friend, and he was best man and had organised it). TEN NIGHTS when you have two children at home of ANY age is wild to book without the enthusiastic support of your partner.

Lugol · 27/09/2026 17:14

I think I'm very old-fashioned in this train of thought but to me, holidays are the good times or a part of the good times of being a family or a couple and if you're not even spending those together then what's the point?

But I know lots of couples like separate holidays, it's just not for me and clearly not for you OP.
I think it's way too soon and way too many breaks away for him while you do all the grunt work.

LBFseBrom · 27/09/2026 17:15

It's ridiculous that he is even contemplating such a thing. How old is he for goodness sake?

sakura06 · 27/09/2026 17:16

WTAF?!?

dingbat5 · 27/09/2026 17:17

When my youngest was two months old my dh had to go away for 2 nights with work. It wasn’t a big deal but I could tell he didn’t really want to be away, he rang and video called a lot and it was only 48 hours! Of course I managed fine but I do think when they are so young and you also have another small child then it’s hard being on your own. Your dh sounds very selfish.

Releasemeplease · 27/09/2026 17:18

It doesn't sound as though he is interested in his children or you OP at all.
He wants to behave like a single man and no doubt that is exactly how he does behave when he is away with his pals.
So disrespectful to you and so uncaring.
I'd rather be a single parent than be with a man who thinks this is acceptable

KarlMarx · 27/09/2026 17:20

A ten night lads' holiday is too soon ever.

Lindy2 · 27/09/2026 17:22

My husband has never had a 10 night lads holiday.

We go on holiday as a family as he is part of a family.

Going away for that long when he has 2 young children and a wife is not acceptable in my opinion.

itwasntme2019 · 27/09/2026 17:22

If it was a work trip, or a shorter trip for a stag do or something, fine. But this is the sort of trip you should be doing as a family. This wouldn’t happen in our house. Doesn’t he want to use his annual leave to spend with his family? When do you get a break? He sounds like he needs to grow up a little and understand what comes with starting a family, sadly some men don’t.

BananaPeels · 27/09/2026 17:23

What exactly is the point of the holiday? Bonding time with his mates? Need to go away to relax after a stressful year? Wanting to get away from a stressful newborn? Like, holidays usually have a purpose right? That purpose is normally quality family time. I am genuinely fascinated why he wants to go away with his mates for that long regardless. A few nights would be more than enough for most people.

anyolddinosaur · 27/09/2026 17:23

You have 3 children. Do you think the man child will stop acting like a toddler?

Dont have any more children with him and start looking for a way out.

Livpool · 27/09/2026 17:24

No chance! DH wouldn’t even want to go this. Why does he bother being in a relationship or having children ?!

itwasntme2019 · 27/09/2026 17:24

also, where is he going, Cancun clubbing and partying 🙄?

Disturbia81 · 27/09/2026 17:27

Why would they want to go on such a long holiday with mates?

LizandDerekGoals · 27/09/2026 17:27

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:58

He does go out a lot during the week, isn’t one for going out drinking etc but he’s meeting with this one friend from work several times a week. They are into buying and selling cars from Facebook so that keeps him busy a lot of his time out of work

You need to stop being such a walkover. He asked for permission and you gave it. You should have said no. He would have then gone anyway but he wouldnt have been able to say you had no problem with it at the time. Why are you not out the same amount?

he goes out monday, you go out tuesday. He can parent. Keep doing it.

YourWildAmberSloth · 27/09/2026 17:28

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:58

He does go out a lot during the week, isn’t one for going out drinking etc but he’s meeting with this one friend from work several times a week. They are into buying and selling cars from Facebook so that keeps him busy a lot of his time out of work

So he's basically acting like a single childless man. You have a choice to make, accept it and carry on or make a stand. You're being too nice about it. Instead of saying I'm not happy about it but what can you do, try telling him that he's acting like a selfish dick, and that he needs to grow up and start behaving like a grown-ass husband and father. That money could be used for a family holiday or something else and he shouldn't be swanning off on a jolly leaving you to cope with the children, it shouldn't even have crossed his dumb, selfish mind to book the trip. He also shouldn't be buggering off out several times a week. If he still doesn't get it, you need to decide if this is how you want married life to be.

Tsubasa1 · 27/09/2026 17:29

Wow absolutely not on.

RealEagle · 27/09/2026 17:30

So he thinks and acts like a single bloke.
How long you going to wait for him to grow up?

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 27/09/2026 17:30

I went abroad for a week to visit family when DD was about that age.

The situation was a bit different in our case though. We didn't know we were having a baby until DP went into labour, and had only been in a relationship for 11 months when she was born. As a result we weren't living together, DP and DD were living with DPs parents. They actually moved in with me the week after I got back.

As a result I'd booked the flights before DD was born, non refundable as I had no idea a baby was on the way. Had I not gone, I'd only likely have seen them for a few hours daily anyway. (Between work and there being no room for me to sleep there, I generally only spent a few hours every evening there). And DP had 3 other people in the house to help her with DD.

In a more normal situation, there's no way I'd have gone away for that long when DD was little. Post them moving in with me, I did have the occasional weekend away with friends from about DD being 5yo, as did DP, but my first full week away from DD and DP was this year, when DD was the grand old age of 18 years old!

I think your partner is taking the piss a bit to be honest OP. It's not something I'd have even considered, let alone actually asked if it was OK

allthingsinmoderation · 27/09/2026 17:32

When he discussed this and you said you weren't happy for him to book a 10 day holiday at this time,he just went ahead and did so? Is that correct?
If you went away for 10 nights with single gfs and he had to look after the children aged 3 yrs and 3 months would that be OK?
i dont think you are overreacting it too soon and you told him you werent happy that should have been enough for him to not do this .

ThaneOfGlamis · 27/09/2026 17:33

10 day lads holidays are the preserve of those with no children, or adult children. Not people with dependent children and especially not as young as yours. It's also going to be a huge amount of money!

Missj25 · 27/09/2026 17:35

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:22

Hi just looking for peoples opinions on this. Interested in hearing both a female and males opinion as my partner doesn’t seem to think he’s doing anything wrong. We’ve just welcomed our second baby. Our eldest is 3 and youngest is now 3 weeks. My partner has just booked a lads holiday to the Caribbean in December for 10 nights. Baby will have only just turned 3 months old then. I can’t help but think it’s too soon for him to be going for such a length of time but he seems to think it’s fine. Wondering what other people’s opinions are? Am I overreacting?

“ Lads holiday “ for 10 nights with a 3 year old & 3 month old , can’t understand why he wants to go to begin with .
He has a wife & young family, tell him to grow the fuck up OP .

SailingYachty · 27/09/2026 17:38

Of course he’s taking the piss. I’d be annoyed if my husband suggested 10 days away and our kids are much older! His family must be old fashioned prats. I’m lucky my MIL would definitely give my husband a talking to if he tried to pull this. Your husband needs to wake up and realise he’s chosen a different life to his mates and now has people who need him.