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Original poster

Is a 10-night lads holiday too soon with a 3-month-old?

252 replies

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:22

Hi just looking for peoples opinions on this. Interested in hearing both a female and males opinion as my partner doesn’t seem to think he’s doing anything wrong. We’ve just welcomed our second baby. Our eldest is 3 and youngest is now 3 weeks. My partner has just booked a lads holiday to the Caribbean in December for 10 nights. Baby will have only just turned 3 months old then. I can’t help but think it’s too soon for him to be going for such a length of time but he seems to think it’s fine. Wondering what other people’s opinions are? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
SpaceAngel1999 · 27/09/2026 16:15

I never object to my husband having time with his mates but he’s taking the piss and most decent husbands wouldn’t even consider it with a 3 month old baby

HoneyChocolate · 27/09/2026 16:15

Fuck that!

SnapAndTap · 27/09/2026 16:16

That will be one heck of a slog for you.
I cant believe he's choosing to do this.

Good luck - and if he's got a couple if grand to splash, hopefully youve got a similar sized fund for when you are ready to leave the kids for a bit of time for you.

FirmSnake · 27/09/2026 16:17

10 nights is wildly unreasonable. A long weekend, sure. How selfish is he.

AshCullen1894 · 27/09/2026 16:17

What did I just read? Does he have any feelings for his wife and children?

Puhpuhpuhpuh · 27/09/2026 16:18

That’s appalling of him.

HoldMyWine · 27/09/2026 16:19

No way! I’ve been married 30 years, neither DH or I have been away with friends for more than 5 days. 10
is taking the piss, that’s money that should be spent on a family holiday.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 27/09/2026 16:19

He is taking the piss.

ExcitableCat · 27/09/2026 16:20

I wouldn’t be happy with this. Hes selfish and sees you as a maid to look after the house and kids so he can do what he likes. Get ready to parent alone. These selfish ones never change. Ive just divorced mine who has completely forgotten hes got two kids. Hes too busy going on his own single holidays and weekends away with mates, living the life of riley

rubyslippers · 27/09/2026 16:20

TheJoyousHiker · 27/09/2026 16:12

No man who has any respect or care for his wife would go on a 10 day holiday leaving his wife at home with two very young children, I’m guessing he’s one of those men who seldom change a nappy, never do their share of night wakings, do nothing around the house and never cook a meal. I’d be telling him he needs to cancel the holiday or your marriage is over.

This
what an complete shit bag of a husband you have

gerispringer · 27/09/2026 16:24

What will he be doing with two single men in the Caribbean for 10 days?

ginasevern · 27/09/2026 16:24

@Daisysimply Hard to imagine why you actually wanted a second baby with him. He obviously doesn't want to be a married family man but he should've been honest about that instead of producing two kids. He's unlikely to change so you might want to consider your options.

Boomer55 · 27/09/2026 16:26

The time away wouldn’t have bothered me. Babies are babies. If you can afford it might be another issue though.

emptygoosenest · 27/09/2026 16:27

10 days is ridiculous, 3 days or so would be fine.
Do you get week long breaks? What exactly is the point of him.

BananaPeels · 27/09/2026 16:28

10 days?! My husband hates being away that long. If he’s had a 2 week business trip he flew back middle weekend! In 25 years the most nights he’s been away from the family with friends is 3 nights at a time. I have never heard of anyone taking a 10 day trip away with friends regardless of age of children. That is not normal at all!

Marycontrarygarden · 27/09/2026 16:29

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:58

He does go out a lot during the week, isn’t one for going out drinking etc but he’s meeting with this one friend from work several times a week. They are into buying and selling cars from Facebook so that keeps him busy a lot of his time out of work

Several times a week?! WTF? And you had another baby with this guy?

LadyLooo · 27/09/2026 16:29

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:42

To add some context - he’s going with 2 friends who both have no partners or children, he is still trying to act like one of the lads when he’s not anymore, he has a family to support. Also this holiday has been booked since the birth of our second child (couple weeks ago), not something that has been planned far in advance. He’s asked for my permission before booking - I said I was not happy about it but what can I do. I have learnt with him that even if I was to say I don’t want him to go it would not change his opinion. He’s been away several times before before the birth of our second child, however the trips were a lot shorter (4 days max) and even then I wasn’t impressed. His family however seem to think it’s a great idea! Mine not so much!

You know what question is probably on most of our minds, don't you?

Unless he's had a complete personality change, why on earth would you want a second child with him?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/09/2026 16:30

This is a dick move from him op. I guess there is no reciprocal break of 10 days for you in the offing either.

Do your children have his surname (yet more power too freely given over to him if so) or your own?. I would seriously consider your future within this relationship.

ExtraOnions · 27/09/2026 16:34

When he asked, why did you not say “no”

numbskull thing for him to do.

throwawayimplantchat · 27/09/2026 16:38

I just don’t think decent dads want to be away from their newborn child for 10 days tbh. He sounds like a dick.

malefields · 27/09/2026 16:43

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:58

He does go out a lot during the week, isn’t one for going out drinking etc but he’s meeting with this one friend from work several times a week. They are into buying and selling cars from Facebook so that keeps him busy a lot of his time out of work

Yeah…….. I’d be really looking into this.

Purpleelephantsandunicorns · 27/09/2026 16:43

Does he have time to parent? Children are a joint responsibility not yours.

westcott · 27/09/2026 16:57

10 days lads holiday in the Caribbean?? Wtf?

Boreded · 27/09/2026 16:59

Yeah that would be a hard pass from me thanks.

moderate · 27/09/2026 17:00

Daisysimply · 27/09/2026 15:42

To add some context - he’s going with 2 friends who both have no partners or children, he is still trying to act like one of the lads when he’s not anymore, he has a family to support. Also this holiday has been booked since the birth of our second child (couple weeks ago), not something that has been planned far in advance. He’s asked for my permission before booking - I said I was not happy about it but what can I do. I have learnt with him that even if I was to say I don’t want him to go it would not change his opinion. He’s been away several times before before the birth of our second child, however the trips were a lot shorter (4 days max) and even then I wasn’t impressed. His family however seem to think it’s a great idea! Mine not so much!

He’s asked for my permission before booking - I said I was not happy about it but what can I do. I have learnt with him that even if I was to say I don’t want him to go it would not change his opinion.

If he ignores your answer, he’s not asking for permission.