Does anyone else have no family or friends at all?

[RaspberryBlues]

Does anyone have NO friends or family at all? I realise this is probably extremely unusual but wondered if I was the only one?

Why are you online dating then

Yes X

OP you have to open up to have friendships . If you just close down people who don’t give you a yes or no answer to your question you will find it hard to make connections . People are trying to help by exploring why you may be in this situation and limiting engagement to just no I’m not in this situation or yes I am doesn’t really help .
If you literally do want yes or no just do a poll .
If you find out that 6 other people have no friends or relatives how does that help you . Being alone in your room trying on line dating is not going to broaden your horizons. IME having no family or family you’re in touch with is reasonably common , having not a single friend isn’t . Someone looking for a potential partner would question why , what’s wrong with you , why don’t you have friends , what will you bring to the table if you have limited social contacts . It would ring alarm bells for a lot of people , primarily young people who aren’t yet jaded of humans .

No same. It can make life very hard at times. Happy to pm.

but you have someone - your husband.

If you find it hard to make and have relationships with friends why do you assume you will be able to have a relationship with a partner?
Have you had long term relationships with a partner before?

I would not enter into a relationship with someone who has no friends because I would wonder why this was the case for them & I would worry that the relationship would become too intense and all consuming. I can understand the hesitancy you are experiencing on dating apps.

My point was that MN generally thinks female friendships are pointless. Most threads have posters saying women are catty, bitchy, nasty, full of drama etc etc.
But oddly, all their husbands are amazing!

Because im not asking for advice on how to make friends but thanks anyway

Just one person yes.

Im not online dating for friendships am I? I might not even be looking for a partner either, people are assuming.

I’m dangerously near this situation. Sibling is hundreds of miles away and we’re uninterested in each other. No partner and no children.

But you’ve said it comes up frequently in conversation when you’re OLD and ‘puts people off (understandably)’, so by refusing to contemplate making friends, you’re lessening your chances of finding the fulfilling romantic relationship you presumably want.

I have tried over the years. Already stated that.

This isn’t true for everyone. Personally I wouldn’t want to date anyone who had lots of friends or who went out a lot socially. I’ve had relationships with people like that and I find it really difficult because it’s so opposite to me. I want someone who is introverted like me and wants me to be the centre of their world, apart from when they need time alone. I don’t want to have people coming over / partner staying out late etc etc. We’re all different. Luckily dh and I are just like this and we’ve been together 17 years now. Not everyone is put off by someone having no friends, some people view it as a positive thing.

Fair enough, you make a good point.

I am glad you and your husband have found each other and are happy.

I suppose it's a case of the OP being explicit about this in her dating profile so she attracts someone who feels the same way regarding friendships.

I agree with this. Starting a romantic relationship when you’re already socially isolated can be risky. Some people will be put off, I’m sure, but in a way I’d be more concerned about the ones who aren’t. It’s a sad fact that a lot of men prey on women who don’t have any other connections to offer a sense of perspective.

Sigh. I think you’re misunderstanding me. You’ve said you’re doing OLD. Presumably because you want a relationship. You also say that having no friends or family comes up frequently in conversation when doing OLD and puts people off. My point is that if you want a relationship, you may need to work on removing one of the factors you admit is putting off potential partners. Regardless of whether you’ve tried and failed to make friends in the past.

I mean, have you dated or had relationships in the past? ETA to say I see that you’ve had a relationship. The fact that this relationship ended hasn’t put you off dating again, so why would past attempts to make friends put you off trying it again, especially if not having friends is getting in the way of you dating?

I’ve had one relationship and I am 38, so I’d say thats unusual. (Wasnt together years or anything we were together for 6 years) so spent most of my life single. Im not sure why having no friends means you cant want a partner anyway? I feel they are different.

That’s great to hear, thank you, im glad to know some people will find it a good thing, I probably wouldn’t want someone with loads of friends either, it’s just finding them though as seems everyone does

I don’t think having no friends means you ‘can’t’ want a partner. I just think you need to ensure that it doesn’t result in you tolerating a subpar partner out of fear of being alone. Have you thought about what you want from a partner/relationship, OP?

I think that sounds both rather sinister (wanting to be the centre of someone’s world, because there’s no one else in that person’s world, so no ‘competition’) and potentially risky. Relationships end. People die. Putting literally all your emotional eggs in one basket is never a good idea.

Not sinister at all, and it’s not about not having competition at all. I’ve been divorced before. I’ve had all my relatives die. I’ve got chronic disabilities and health conditions. It’s actually made me quite fearless. I’m not scared of being completely on my own. I’ve done it before. A partner is a bonus, but I don’t want anyone else apart from them. Friends etc just exhaust me, even before I became mid 40s with health issues. The point is we’re all different. No one should be trying to please others. If everyone is themselves they will attract the right people for them.

fear Of being alone? I have been single for a decade, I spent most of my life alone, I have lived alone since 16 and spent most of my life alone. Someone who has no friends is not someone who is scared of being alone.

Yes, exactly this.

I think there are likely some very elderly people who have lost their friends and relatives in a no friends or family situation but it is quite unusual otherwise for someone to have no friends. I can see why people find it off putting, they are assuming you have character flaw preventing you making friends. I wonder if what you define as a friend is the issue? Do you have acquaintances op? I mean, do you say hi to your neighbour, make chit chat with a colleague, know people at a hobby? These are they ways that friendships organically form.