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Boyfriend unable to get erection but masturbating to Instagram models

92 replies

TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:14

To the women on here, how would you feel if your boyfriend couldn't get an erection, but was using Instagram models and such like to masturbate regularly?

We've only been seeing each other for 7 months....

OP posts:
TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:15

... more to the point, what would you do?

OP posts:
malefields · Yesterday 14:15

It would put me right off. What a loser.

GiveOverRover · Yesterday 14:16

TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:15

... more to the point, what would you do?

I would make him not my boyfriend. I would tell him I'd changed my mind and set him free to find someone else who found that attractive.

Blackandyellow65 · Yesterday 14:16

So he can get an erection? But only to porn/model girls and not you? What a fucking winner you’re onto here..

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 14:16

He wouldn't be my boyfriend.

Minasama · Yesterday 14:17

I would rather I didn’t know this about my boyfriend. Romance and mystery are clearly dead, along with taste and class!

I think it depends on his age. If over 40, ED is a common problem, easily rectified with OTC Viagra. But under 40 perhaps another boyfriend would be better?

TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:21

He's 42. He says it's because he has been single for too long. He got Viagra and it didn't work. I've read that desire has to be there for Viagra to work.

The Instagram women he looks at all look nothing like me. Most of them are super young, super skinny, almost like anorexic teen skinny. I'm a healthy, curvy 40 year old with a very, very good sex drive and getting more and more frustrated and losing my patience. And now my respect for him is leaving.

OP posts:
cordeliavorkosigan · Yesterday 14:23

Ew no that would entirely put me off. Next!

Blackandyellow65 · Yesterday 14:24

At what point did you realise he couldn’t have sex with you, but could happily wank to teenage looking girls online? And how much longer have you stayed with him since?

MrsLFii · Yesterday 14:24

A 42 year old man wanking off so much to very slim, teenage instagram models that he couldn’t then function as a man should in a relationship wouldn’t be my boyfriend.

Blackandyellow65 · Yesterday 14:24

I pray you don’t have daughters..

BansheeOfTheSouth · Yesterday 14:24

Follow your respect for him @TheInfamousGrouse and leave. He is following the same script as the other incels. Making you feel that his porn addiction is your fault. Let him stay single and wank himself to death (grip).

Weekmindedfool · Yesterday 14:25

I expect he’s looking at a lot more than just
instagram OP.

WhatNextImScared · Yesterday 14:25

Leave him. Tell him exactly why. He’s ruined real sex by looking at fake women and there’s nothing more off putting to women than that.

SandyHappyPerson · Yesterday 14:27

TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:21

He's 42. He says it's because he has been single for too long. He got Viagra and it didn't work. I've read that desire has to be there for Viagra to work.

The Instagram women he looks at all look nothing like me. Most of them are super young, super skinny, almost like anorexic teen skinny. I'm a healthy, curvy 40 year old with a very, very good sex drive and getting more and more frustrated and losing my patience. And now my respect for him is leaving.

I'm a healthy, curvy 40 year old with a very, very good sex drive and getting more and more frustrated and losing my patience. And now my respect for him is leaving.

Just get rid, what you said above is all the reason you need to set yourself free.

OtterlyAstounding · Yesterday 14:27

I'm afraid your boyfriend is broken.
Luckily, as it's happened with 12 months you're still covered by the warranty; I'd return him for store credit.

In all seriousness though, he's a perv who isn't worth your time. You can do better - being single would be an improvement. Throw him back.

GiveOverRover · Yesterday 14:29

God, this is dire OP. This is going to wreck your confidence, if you let it. This is really dysfunctional, don't get dragged along with it. His issue to deal with, not yours to manage, accommodate of fix.

You've only known him since February, you've just found out the explanation for something that has presumably been bothering you, get rid, move on. You're not a rehab centre for porn addled men.

OldrNWisr · Yesterday 14:32

He’ll be using porn regularly too. What a specimen. Bin him.

Gizzasec · Yesterday 14:35

Viagra user. You're correct about it. Desire has to be there. If he decided it "didn't work" because he took it & didn't get an erection, he's ignoring the fact that you have to be sexually aroused in your head first for it to work. It doesn't, to be blunt, send the blood in; it helps prevent the blood flowing out once it's already there. Sorry, OP. He's taking a shortcut to arousal - what else is porn? And if he does have genuine ED, he'll probably need Viagra for masturbation too. It sounds to me like he's making excuses.

GreyCarpet · Yesterday 14:39

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 14:16

He wouldn't be my boyfriend.

He wouldn't be my boyfriend either.

Are you honestly saying this hasn't seriously put him off you, TheInfamousGrouse?

And now my respect for him is leaving.

I'm surprised there is any left.

BansheeOfTheSouth · Yesterday 14:40

@OtterlyAstounding
I'm afraid your boyfriend is broken.
Luckily, as it's happened with 12 months you're still covered by the warranty; I'd return him for store credit.

That made me laugh so much. Can't find it now but reminded me of a graphic from years ago with a queue of women on an escalator returning their defective boyfriends. Life lesson for us all.

TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:42

Well he has good points, but they are all rapidly overshadowed by this, obviously.

I was being very patient, but now I know what the issue is, my patience has all but gone.

OP posts:
TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:42

BansheeOfTheSouth · Yesterday 14:40

@OtterlyAstounding
I'm afraid your boyfriend is broken.
Luckily, as it's happened with 12 months you're still covered by the warranty; I'd return him for store credit.

That made me laugh so much. Can't find it now but reminded me of a graphic from years ago with a queue of women on an escalator returning their defective boyfriends. Life lesson for us all.

I LOVE your username as well!

OP posts:
TheInfamousGrouse · Yesterday 14:43

I reckon the Banshee has screamed the death knell of this relationship!!!

OP posts:
OtterlyAstounding · Yesterday 14:43

Also, entirely aside from the fact that he's a grotty perv - at 42, unless he's got worrying medical issues that he's not dealing with, he should be perfectly capable of an erection, physiologically speaking. It's pathetic the way so many men these days can't get it up because they've ruined the ability to be aroused by women in real life, thanks to watching porn/ogling women online.