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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

513 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
TheDenimPoet · Yesterday 17:19

summitfever · Yesterday 14:06

Sounds like a waste of time op, he’d have been in touch by now if he was worth bothering with

If he was "worth bothering with"? Seriously? He obviously just saw it as a little holiday fling and she saw it as something more. It doesn't make him a bad person!

Chatterlyssecret · Yesterday 17:21

How would you describe him?
Fat
Slim
Bald
Well groomed
Grey
Dark
Blond
Tall
Short
Well spoken
Leeds accent
How do you see yourself?

Databreach · Yesterday 17:23

Ah sorry op, at least you tried!

Ilovechristmas133 · Yesterday 17:24

Im very invested in this too now. Fingers crossed for a response! My holiday romance turned 18 this summer 😂

Venicelagoon · Yesterday 17:25

I do hope he replies to you though. He sounds so nice and so do you !

cartagenagina · Yesterday 17:25

Oh please don’t feel too sad if he doesn’t respond.

You had a lovely little adventure!

Mirsine · Yesterday 17:26

Good for you OP for shooting your shot!

Life is for living and taking chances, and that’s exactly what you’re doing.

indigorising · Yesterday 17:34

Good on’ya op. At least you’ll go to bed tonight without the ‘will he won’t he’ mind worm. With Whatapp, ‘did he read it, when last on line’; there lies double madness.

(op can tell I have read the whole thread) 🐥

CrazyCatLady2026 · Yesterday 17:36

Well if he doesn't respond, he's an idiot.

FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 17:37

Chatterlyssecret · Yesterday 17:21

How would you describe him?
Fat
Slim
Bald
Well groomed
Grey
Dark
Blond
Tall
Short
Well spoken
Leeds accent
How do you see yourself?

What? Why? Have I missed something??

TheFormerMrsTruelove · Yesterday 17:37

When you said he works in a bank, are we talking a high powered executive who’d be in important meetings all afternoon? Or the bloke who greets you at the door with a tablet to check if anyone’s available to talk to you?

Although I suppose with either, he might not be able to check his phone and could be on his way home now, thinking about how to respond. But if he doesn’t, then don’t even credit him with a mini flutter of romance. Think of him as just someone who kept you company while you watched a band.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · Yesterday 17:38

Ilovechristmas133 · Yesterday 17:24

Im very invested in this too now. Fingers crossed for a response! My holiday romance turned 18 this summer 😂

It took me a moment… 🤦‍♀️😂

YourAmberExpert · Yesterday 17:39

He's probably married, I wouldn't message him

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:39

Chatterlyssecret · Yesterday 17:21

How would you describe him?
Fat
Slim
Bald
Well groomed
Grey
Dark
Blond
Tall
Short
Well spoken
Leeds accent
How do you see yourself?

Why does any of that matter?

OP posts:
FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 17:39

PotatoLove · Yesterday 17:07

I keep laughing at your username tbh 😂

Me too. Every time I read OPs name I see myself wearing a huge big spongy helmet on a motorbike 😂

arethereanyleftatall · Yesterday 17:39

sonjadog · Yesterday 17:05

This thread gives a fascinating insight into some people's minds. Meeting someone you like and contacting them shows: a lack of self-respect; he must be a scammer; he will have snogged lots of other people; he must be married. It would find it very dreary to go through life with the attitudes of some people on here.

Indeed. If I ever post a problem, I know to dismiss the batshit extremes at either end. On a world wide forum, someone will always know someone that the absolute best or absolute worst happened to. If you can’t do that, I would never advise anyone to ask strangers for online help as they’d be an anxious mess.

whilst I know the op isn’t, I’m finding the ‘why don’t you text him’ posts 4 hours and 200 messages in funny. As if no one has said that yet!! It’s like sitting at a work meeting for hours not listening and then answering the first question someone asked 4 hours ago.

Lifestooshort71 · Yesterday 17:40

A good message. Fingers crossed you hear back from him 💐

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:40

YourAmberExpert · Yesterday 17:39

He's probably married, I wouldn't message him

Great advice, cheers

OP posts:
FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 17:41

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:39

Why does any of that matter?

I know. Your thread has brought out all the crazy questions and replies 😂

allthingsinmoderation · Yesterday 17:41

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:10

Eh? I haven't repeated anything and have only sent the 1 message

In your OP you said you responded to his message and that was the last contact.
Then you posted that you were thinking of sending a message (14.49) saying basically the same thing as your last message,the gist being nice meeting you dtill want to meet up.
i thought the proposed latest message was the same in principle as the last message you sent him.

Agatha1989 · Yesterday 17:41

I hope he replies but if he doesn’t, then file it under holiday romance and move on.
Your break sounds fabulous, but maybe he met someone else after you’d left.

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:41

FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 17:39

Me too. Every time I read OPs name I see myself wearing a huge big spongy helmet on a motorbike 😂

Ha, it's a current thread name on the sex board which i read just before I started mine

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · Yesterday 17:42

Shamelessly place marking. I used to put my phone in a drawer and only check it every half an hour in these situations 🤣 good luck OP!

momtoboys · Yesterday 17:43

I wouldn't.

Sulgari · Yesterday 17:43

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:41

Ha, it's a current thread name on the sex board which i read just before I started mine

Edited

Not a holiday memory, then?

😄