Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

I think you were right to just text him. Maybe he is working today and he will text you back when he sits down for five minutes this evening.

I see what you mean. Well, that was kind if the dilemma whether to message or not, he said he'd message when he got back, he hadn't so i asked if I should now we're both back as I would have liked to see him again.

It's sent now anyway

Ha! Certainly not 😆

I’m so invested in this! You did the right thing messaging OP. If he doesn’t reply, no loss, you’ll never see him again anyway. And if he does then it could be the start of something

Also shamelessly place marking.

There are some negative Nellie's here who always this the worst of people!

working in banking he probably won’t get to look at his phone until 7 tonight.

Send him a message asking how the rest of his holiday was and is his journey back went ok.
if he doesn’t respond then ok don’t write back but it doesn’t sounds like he’s ignoring you as you haven’t actually messaged

Good luck OP. I’ve just been ghosted in similar ish circumstances, hope you get on better than I did!

Bloody hell some people here are so weird and paranoid.

Fingers crossed for you OP.

I appreciate all the replies and some of them have been brilliant, I don't hold out much hope but that's fine, I wanted something and I went for it. If it doesn't work out then I'm not going to be too upset about it, it just wasn't meant to be

Woah steady on ...!

Surely that's more relevant when you ARE seeing someone, not when you are not?

I messaged at 3 today

Good luck. Also give him a day or two to reply, presumably this was his first day back at work so could be pretty busy.

I still think he'll respond actually.

Everyone checks social these days!

I was going through some old cards and letters recently and came across a letter I had written to a man I had met on holiday in France when I was in my 20s. It said Return to Sender on it (or whatever the French equivalent is.) At least I knew!

Good attitude. As you said earlier if you never try then you will never meet someone and if you go in without much expectation then hopefully you won’t be (too) upset.

Then he's not likely to have a picture of his wife sitting there is he?

But not everyone does. It takes up time.

I know right, plus I've already addressed this

Fingers crossed for you OP, I have been invested since mid pm, it’s got me through what is normally a boring Monday pm. I love threads like these and hope he replies.

Me too, fingers crossed. I hope it works out, good to have some positivity for a change

You've been brave OP.

Good luck and if he doesn't respond- his loss.

Did he tell you anything about his relationship status? I don't mean if he was married but if he was recently out of a relationship etc. Does he have kids?

There can be so many reasons why he's not contacted you YET.

Maybe he's broken up with someone and doesn't feel ready for anything else, maybe it's the distance, who knows.

It's always HIM - not you!

Ooooh fucking hell, it wasn't that kind of big spongy helmet I was imagining 😂😂

There's still a chance he'll respond this evening. If not then that's a shame and bloody disappointing.

Good on you for messaging him.

He hasn't been married, his long term relationship ended last year, no kids. He had a brief 5 week relationship with a friend of a friend earlier this year, but he said neither of them were really into it.