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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

512 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
U53rName · Yesterday 16:52

Loub1987 · Yesterday 16:51

Glad you messaged him, now you will have nothing to regret! Worst case scenario is that he doesn’t respond and you had a couple of great kisses.

Hope he does respond though!

Agreed. At least you’ll know either way OP, and it’s not like you live closely enough to awkwardly bump into him at the supermarket.

Fingers crossed.

justaquickquestionifyouplease · Yesterday 16:52

@BigSpongyHelmethow much longer was he on holiday than you? As in, could he have met someone else there after you?

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 16:53

Imonmyownhere · Yesterday 16:52

How it all came about sounds very sweet, but the fact he's had days doesn't look good I'm afraid.

Did you book the band and turn it in to a holiday? I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you. Anyway I love live bands..not that you need to tell me who it was or anything!! 😂

No, the band were the house band of a bar restaurant at the resort, late opening and cracking rock/indie music

OP posts:
Ariel896 · Yesterday 16:54

OP so invested in this now!!!
and can’t believe the amount of people asking the same questions over and over again. RTFT for goodness sake! 🙄

pilates · Yesterday 16:54

Just take it for what it was a bit of fun on
holiday. I hope I’m wrong but I don’t think you will hear from him. I bet he is married.

Imonmyownhere · Yesterday 16:55

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 16:53

No, the band were the house band of a bar restaurant at the resort, late opening and cracking rock/indie music

Exactly my kind of thing! Anyway following with interest to see how it goes.

GarlicSomething · Yesterday 16:55

Pathetically placemarking to see if you get your reply.

You sound great, and I'm happy you had this lovely experience!

FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 16:56

pilates · Yesterday 16:54

Just take it for what it was a bit of fun on
holiday. I hope I’m wrong but I don’t think you will hear from him. I bet he is married.

Fucking hell, it's the shining light of positivity 😂

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:00

FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 16:56

Fucking hell, it's the shining light of positivity 😂

😆

OP posts:
Cheersminesalargeone · Yesterday 17:03

I’m so invested in this. Where did you go on holiday?

pilates · Yesterday 17:04

Just being honest. It’s horrible to read people egging op on to message. Like I said I hope he comes back to you.

sonjadog · Yesterday 17:05

This thread gives a fascinating insight into some people's minds. Meeting someone you like and contacting them shows: a lack of self-respect; he must be a scammer; he will have snogged lots of other people; he must be married. It would find it very dreary to go through life with the attitudes of some people on here.

Venicelagoon · Yesterday 17:06

You said he was a great kisser. Hope you added some Xs in your text.

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:07

sonjadog · Yesterday 17:05

This thread gives a fascinating insight into some people's minds. Meeting someone you like and contacting them shows: a lack of self-respect; he must be a scammer; he will have snogged lots of other people; he must be married. It would find it very dreary to go through life with the attitudes of some people on here.

I know right, I mean all of that is quite possible but bloody hell, no one would ever date if we all thought like that!

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:07

Venicelagoon · Yesterday 17:06

You said he was a great kisser. Hope you added some Xs in your text.

Nope!

OP posts:
PotatoLove · Yesterday 17:07

I keep laughing at your username tbh 😂

allthingsinmoderation · Yesterday 17:08

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:49

How about "hi, hope you got home ok and getting back into work wasn't too painful. I enjoyed meeting you and wondered if you still wanted to catch up now you're back...."

Thoughts? Do i need to say let me know at the end or anything?

Thats just the same as the last message you sent him, why repeat it?

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:09

Cheersminesalargeone · Yesterday 17:03

I’m so invested in this. Where did you go on holiday?

I booked a last minute week away to a Canary Island and stayed 3 nights in a quaint little village and 4 nights in a main resort

OP posts:
AndCallMeNancy · Yesterday 17:09

Another one rooting for you OP! I really hope he replies with a date suggestion 😍
Good luck!

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:10

allthingsinmoderation · Yesterday 17:08

Thats just the same as the last message you sent him, why repeat it?

Eh? I haven't repeated anything and have only sent the 1 message

OP posts:
Cheersminesalargeone · Yesterday 17:10

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:09

I booked a last minute week away to a Canary Island and stayed 3 nights in a quaint little village and 4 nights in a main resort

Sounds perfect

A671090 · Yesterday 17:11

Mapletree1985 · Yesterday 16:39

Personally I'd message him. I'd be completely frank: "I really liked you and enjoyed your company. I'm interested in seeing you again, but I'm not interested in playing games. Get in touch if you'd like to see me. If you don't get in touch, I'll assume the answer is no, and I won't contact you again. Either way, thanks for bringing a frisson of romance into my holiday."

I cant work out if you are being serious or smoking something? Id run a mile if someone sent me this message!

boobies1234 · Yesterday 17:14

I’m invested. It sounds like you had a lovely time with a lovely man.
ignore the grumpy people. He could have lost his phone, he could be stuck at the airport or he could be busy.
I believe there is always good people, and I really hope his a good guy.

Rainbowcat77 · Yesterday 17:15

Sorry @Mapletree1985i had to chuckle at that message it’s quite erm direct isn’t it?

Op, I’ve read this thread and I’m rooting for you. I really hope he messages you back!!

I think you were fine to message him, it was a suitably light hearted non intense message.

i have everything crossed for you!!

I was in a similar situation over the summer, but with a woman…sadly she ghosted me and went back to her life ex.

i hope yours works out better!

TheOnlyWayIsIlford · Yesterday 17:18

Mapletree1985 · Yesterday 16:39

Personally I'd message him. I'd be completely frank: "I really liked you and enjoyed your company. I'm interested in seeing you again, but I'm not interested in playing games. Get in touch if you'd like to see me. If you don't get in touch, I'll assume the answer is no, and I won't contact you again. Either way, thanks for bringing a frisson of romance into my holiday."

LOL: if I was minded to message someone lovely I had met on hol, that message would change my mind straight away!