Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

Well hasn't this been the most entertaining thread on MN for a while, the posters replying to the OP now must either be drunk, bonkers or bots.

Loved it, can't wait for the update OP. There's a few people on this thread that should definitely not attend, pretty please and thanks

Maybe someone can advise the OP what to say if she does decide to text him?

Have the most wonderful time OP xx

Connections do not happen when people aren’t honest. Be honest.

You could say: ‘it was lovely to meet you, I really enjoyed it. I must admit I’m a bit surprised not to hear from you. I hope you’re ok!’

I went on a nice date with my husband almost 6 years ago. Next morning I hadn’t heard from him…. that was enough for me. I messaged similar to the above. Honestly anc vulnerability create connection. We’ve been married almost 3 years now!

If he doesn’t like your message he’s not for you. Best to find out quickly 🙏

People reading only the OP's updates are missing out on some real humdingers. I posted yesterday in what I thought was a jocular manner and the Son of God was invited to the party ....

This thread has something for everyone.

Will keep an eye out for chip pisser threads. IYKYK.

For the love of god, RTFT!

I’ve done this with cruises. Met up with other solo cruisers through fb groups and passion for cruises. Its extremely enjoyable, and you get to meet lots of lovely people.

Haven’t read the full thread, but read all of OPs updates and enough of the rest, to just say “well done, OP”. Seriously, I’ve never understood why a woman sending a message is such a big deal to some. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Go, and enjoy your date.

Well this thread was batshit…I missed all the action. Some crazy advice for OP here, including the classic one where only a man is allowed to message first and if they don’t they’re not interested…glad it all worked out for you, hope the dates go well, and that we get an update so we can see what extra randomness the posters here can add.

My favourite based in the info on here is that he’s married!

I mean what made anyone think that?

.

@BewareTheGurus, are you the poster asking about the bank the chap works for and which type of banking?

I’d hazard a guess you got deleted because you may have come across as a journalist (of the freelance style), potentially looking to lift a MN thread to sell as a story to a tabloid. It’s a sensitive issue for many posters, understandably I think. And then a poster or two presumably reported your post. You can always email MNHQ and ask if it’s worrying you.

Some of the responses to this post have been completely unhinged!
Some folk really do their best to suck the joy out of any space.
Have a wonderful time OP. I'm glad you messaged 1st. Life is about taking chances and finding joy wherever we can.
Enjoy your adventure x

Personally i do not think i would. You contacted him last after all. Both said happy to see one another again. I would be inclined to think he is either not single (or he is in a "complicated relationship") or he met another nice woman like yourself there. I would personally not msg him again. If he does msg you later, i would tread carefully, and according to how long that interval is, wonder if he was all that genuine. You could be saving yourself a load of hassle here. Incidentally how far from you does he live anyhow?

Omg

It's really rude to just read the first post and butt in with totally pointless, irrelevant advice before finishing reading what OP has to say.

I hope you don't do that in real life.

@BigSpongyHelmet

Just read all your posts, and some replies.

Yay!!

🤞 Look forward to the update thread!!

At least read all the OP’s posts.

Especially when it’s clear there are 39 pages to the thread. Good grief.

Hope the date goes well @BigSpongyHelmet

It's refreshing to see someone not being a passenger in their own life.

You are keen, you sent a message to indicate that (in a perfectly appropriate way). You now know he's in the same position.

Much better than sitting wondering and I cannot fathom the bonkers stuff suggested here. It sounds like you met him in the way relationships have formed for decades - if anything you were both on the restrained side!

You had one of those connections you need to see through to the end. That may have been with the text, it may be on the date back in the real world, it may be in three months when you can't hack how he eats toast but at least you find out.

Life is too short not to. Good luck

Just call or txt him if he answers great if he doesnt nice but slightly tainted memory.

Wow. Genius idea.

Wow, if only someone had thought to advise OP to do that 900 posts ago

This thread has been one of the best/worst examples I've seen in a long time of why people should RTFT
OP did you message him?😂
I will be looking out for the chips