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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

508 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Happyjoe · Yesterday 21:30

localnotail · Yesterday 21:28

I would suggest doing just that. You have nothing to lose - though, tbh, I think this one is a dud. But at least you'd know for sure.

Sometimes people get carried away, he probably did like you in that moment but change his mind in the cold light of day being back home. Or maybe he is not single, who knows.

If you read the thread however........... or at least the OP's posts?

Petrolitis · Yesterday 21:30

Good luck OP. Hopefully he is lovely.

But if he turns out to be a tool, im on the outskirts of Leeds. Tip me the wink and I'll tip his wheelie bin over.

WigglywagglyWanda · Yesterday 21:31

Some absolute melters on here🤣

eminthebigsmoke · Yesterday 21:33

So happy to see the positive update OP! Have a fab time on your date 🥰

TerrysCIockworkOrange · Yesterday 21:33

This thread 😂 Some MNers truly do seem to think that the only acceptable way to meet a man is to be Introduced to a suitor by Mama & Papa and accompanied by a chaperone at all times 😂😂
Glad to hear he’s back in contact OP and I hope you do manage to meet up and it goes well

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 21:36

Petrolitis · Yesterday 21:30

Good luck OP. Hopefully he is lovely.

But if he turns out to be a tool, im on the outskirts of Leeds. Tip me the wink and I'll tip his wheelie bin over.

Ha, brilliant!

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 21:38

Bed time for me, up early for work but I'll be sure to update when the date is set.

Thanks for the company and some brilliant and not so brilliant posts!

❤️

OP posts:
ClairDeLaLune · Yesterday 21:39

Late to the thread, only just found it, but got invested very quickly! How exciting OP! Hope you will keep us updated, and good luck 🤞

Trumpisacunt · Yesterday 21:49

Best of luck op,I met a lovely man, in a bar,in the canaries last December (I'm 58) kept in touch via text ,and arranged to meet (with no expectations) in January for a return visit ,fast forward 9 months and we are about to go on our second holiday together .
Who says snogging random blokes in foreign bars is only for the young and reckless 😀

BeKhakiReader · Yesterday 21:49

Brilliant update.

WhiteFramesandPlanes · Yesterday 21:54

Good luck OP!

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 21:55

Trumpisacunt · Yesterday 21:49

Best of luck op,I met a lovely man, in a bar,in the canaries last December (I'm 58) kept in touch via text ,and arranged to meet (with no expectations) in January for a return visit ,fast forward 9 months and we are about to go on our second holiday together .
Who says snogging random blokes in foreign bars is only for the young and reckless 😀

Hope for us all! I'm guessing he was a good snogger too Grin

OP posts:
thecatdidit · Yesterday 22:01

@BigSpongyHelmet I like you but not your slightly sleazy username 😮 😂
My niece met her DH in a queue for the facilities at a tourist hot spot. They're just celebrating the birth of their child.

Holiday romances can and do work. Wishing you all the best😊

Hellohelga · Yesterday 22:01

Ah what a lovely post. Romance isn’t dead and there are still some nice guys out there. Have a lovely date and if you end up getting married tell MN first.

Noshowlomo · Yesterday 22:10

I’m very excited by this thread and wish I was single and on a solo holiday !

Pipsquiggle · Yesterday 22:10

Well done @BigSpongyHelmet

So pleased you texted him and he responded.
Carpe diem and all that.

No matter what happens, I always think being proactive in these situations is the best bet

Morecoffeeneedef · Yesterday 22:17

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:27

There has been some right weird shit posted hasn't there, entertaining though!

So we've been messaging a bit, i keep telling him to get himself home and sorted and we'll catch up tomorrow but he keeps messaging me...what a bastard eh.

Anyway, last message was from him saying he was really looking forward to seeing me again, and he'll message or ring tomorrow to discuss dates that suit us both.

So there we are...for now

Keep us posted, OP. This is the moment critique. Will he keep his promise or fade out?Fingers crossed that it works out the best way for you.

Triskellion75 · Yesterday 22:22

I'm loving the updates, fingers crossed it all goes well!

wildnwilde · Yesterday 22:22

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 21:36

Ha, brilliant!

Love this . Drive past blasting circus music 👌

viques · Yesterday 22:23

Just send something non confrontational like. “ Hope you got home OK with no dramas or delays.”

Hope it works out. A very dear friend met someone on a holiday trip, they didn’t really get chatting until the last couple of days ( she made sure she sat next to him on the coach!!!!) but three years later they are still together and by all accounts very happy with the way things are.

Just seen the updates. Fingers crossed.

BTW my friends partner/ friend lives at the opposite end of the country and they are making it work. Another friend has a relationship on the go with someone in Paris, trains are doing a lot of heavy lifting in both relationships!

Skyflier · Yesterday 22:31

This is lovely. I hope you meet up with him soon OP and have a lovely date. How nice to read a happy thread. Good luck x

Chatterlyssecret · Yesterday 22:32

You tell him he is so lucky to have met a stunningly beautiful woman like you, & that’s from the whole Mumsnet Community 💐💐💐🍷🍷👀

RockinCara · Yesterday 22:33

Fingers crossed for you. Please do keep us posted.

WimbyAce · Yesterday 22:41

Ah loving this OP! Was reading this earlier and was very much in the "team message" camp, as why not, life is too short to fanny about in my opinion! Glad for the positive outcome and all the best 😀

Wreckinball · Yesterday 22:44

Nothing like a budding romance - good luck OP hope he’s as nice without beer goggles etc