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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

511 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 20:43

Great news 👏 🎉✨️

We want updates from your first date 😁

FannybygaslightinGovan · Yesterday 20:44

Agatha1989 · Yesterday 18:03

Your innocence is endearing 💕💕💕

Oh I know, I'm dying that it wasn't the kind of helmet I was imagining 😂😂

justasking111 · Yesterday 20:46

DS and partner live outside Leeds they have friends in Manchester. They often catch a train for nights, weekends away. It's a good train route and fast. It's only an hour or so in the car.

Calliopespa · Yesterday 20:48

ErlingHaalandsManBun · Yesterday 20:27

@BigSpongyHelmet brilliant update!

Ignore the bloody fun sponges on here and go and have an enjoyable date with a nice man.

Good things can happen and not all men are married, liars, dodgy and deceitful. 🙄

Have fun and an update after the date would be great 😁

I think "fun sponge" is a phrase to avoid in the context of OP's username.

Might turn out he is the fun sponge as it were

BippidyBoppety · Yesterday 20:50

OMG late to the party (read all the OP's posts so not going to throw in my "message him" comment).

Delighted at the updates. He has a good relationship with a brother he holidays with. You have a good relationship with your Mum who is staying with you. I'm seeing a lovely family wedding in the offing. What will you wear, OP? (first date / wedding / either or both)?

Nevs · Yesterday 20:51

BippidyBoppety · Yesterday 20:50

OMG late to the party (read all the OP's posts so not going to throw in my "message him" comment).

Delighted at the updates. He has a good relationship with a brother he holidays with. You have a good relationship with your Mum who is staying with you. I'm seeing a lovely family wedding in the offing. What will you wear, OP? (first date / wedding / either or both)?

Jesus..

EdithBond · Yesterday 20:52

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:27

There has been some right weird shit posted hasn't there, entertaining though!

So we've been messaging a bit, i keep telling him to get himself home and sorted and we'll catch up tomorrow but he keeps messaging me...what a bastard eh.

Anyway, last message was from him saying he was really looking forward to seeing me again, and he'll message or ring tomorrow to discuss dates that suit us both.

So there we are...for now

Pleased you took a chance and got a positive response.

I’d always message if I like someone. Life’s short and it’s better to give things a go and fail than regret not giving it a go. We have to make our own luck.

Good luck 🍀. He sounds lovely.

TheDreamyFinch · Yesterday 20:52

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:35

Ok so he's 52, tall (6'1), bald, blue eyes, slim with a teeny belly, was wearing very smart chino shorts and proper shirts, smelled nice, good legs, great lips.

I'm 52, short (5'2), browny/blonde wavy bob, blue eyes, slim, size 8 but with boobs/bum.

We like the same music, similar sense of humour, both a bit sarky/bantery but not annoyingly so. We both like travelling, walking/hiking, dogs

I still don't know his surname nor him mine

That was in response to @momtoboys

Edited

Love this. Life is far too short not to take a little risk.
Go with the flow OP and just enjoy 🙂

BessieSurtees · Yesterday 20:54

This thread is mad you have the patience of a saint @BigSpongyHelmet. I’m sure someone on here will have checked every UK arrival from every canary island trying to prove a point. 🙄

MabelAnderson · Yesterday 20:55

I called my DH as I was fed up waiting for him to call , pre mobiles, so every time the phone rang I thought it might be him.
Anyway the rest is history. Always good to just be your authentic self ! Well done OP. He sounds lovely.

MrsPottsMumofChip · Yesterday 20:56

Hurrah. Can everyone on this thread who read the updates before posting have an invite to the future wedding of B S Helmet and her holiday romancer.

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:57

LondonLass2026 · Yesterday 20:41

Ooh, does he have a touch of the Vin Diesels about him? Sounds lush.

Best of luck, op. I've throughly enjoyed reading all this today. I told my partner I'd found one of the best threads ever and would be reading it while he cooked!

No one knows how this will turn out but I wish you the best of luck.

Oh thank you, I'm honoured bows

OP posts:
Bumblebee0918 · Yesterday 21:01

I came back to this thread for and update and am glad that I did! @BigSpongyHelmet I hope the first UK date goes well. Please update us after that - you have many people now interested in what happens.

wildnwilde · Yesterday 21:10

I love this for you op ♥️ not every one is a scamming cheating lying scoundral . A fair few are but where would we be if none of us took a chance . Hope it works out even if it's only for a date or 2 xx

VenusThighTrap · Yesterday 21:15

So glad he’s messaged OP!

Gosh this thread was a wild ride though, think all the MNers who are too scared to answer their door when someone knocks are here.

Fingers crossed for some romance and fun ahead for you, and hopefully no scamming.

JustAboutHangingInThere · Yesterday 21:16

Ahh fabulous update OP! He sounds as keen as you 😍 and he smells nice!!!
Good luck xx

Happyjoe · Yesterday 21:22

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 18:46

Brilliant replies, thanks for the laugh.

So I'm paraphrasing a little but he said was I following his flight as he'd just landed and was on the train home, I obviously was more pissed than I thought as I swore he said he was flying back last Thursday. He said it was lovely meeting me and he was going to text once home and he definitely wants to meet up on British soil...soon!

Bloody brilliant! Way to go OP! Right, in memory of Cilla, if you get hitched, let us know and we can buy a hat. (Yes, you're old enough to remember that, lol).

Hope it all ends up well and flipping good fun :-)

FlorenceLawrence · Yesterday 21:23

Really happy for you OP! He sounds nice, and it's so nice to have a thread where the bloke texts you back. Good luck!

TeaChocKitKat · Yesterday 21:24

Thanks for this thread OP. Sorry you have had so many bonkers comments. I'm so pleased you've had a positive response amd I have my fingers and toes crossed something comes of it x

WigglywagglyWanda · Yesterday 21:25

Steeleydan · Yesterday 18:24

Probably gone back to his wife/partner

Yey alls well that ends well

On another note I'm pissing myself laughing at folk actually checking flights from the fucking Canaries 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HatKat · Yesterday 21:26

This is the first full thread I have been invested in in a long time. So glad you messaged him and so happy for you that he replied !! 🤭

Also love your responses to the idiotic comments on here, made me laugh 😂 now go and plan a date!! 😃

Happyjoe · Yesterday 21:27

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:29

Yeah i get this but I'd rather be in Manc nearer home and not Leeds where i don't know. He won't be staying here, I have my mum here following illness

Edited

I love how you are both not too far from each other, even though met overseas! Brilliant. Quick trip on motorway, past the house in the middle (if it's still there) and there you go!

HatKat · Yesterday 21:28

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this made me laugh out loud! I was getting so frustrated seeing people comment things that OP had already said / done. Waaaaah

localnotail · Yesterday 21:28

Morecoffeeneedef · Yesterday 14:30

One quick message. 'Hi, are you back home now, fancy meeting up?' Then if no reply in say 3 days , delete and block him.

I would suggest doing just that. You have nothing to lose - though, tbh, I think this one is a dud. But at least you'd know for sure.

Sometimes people get carried away, he probably did like you in that moment but change his mind in the cold light of day being back home. Or maybe he is not single, who knows.

UnaGatita · Yesterday 21:30

localnotail · Yesterday 21:28

I would suggest doing just that. You have nothing to lose - though, tbh, I think this one is a dud. But at least you'd know for sure.

Sometimes people get carried away, he probably did like you in that moment but change his mind in the cold light of day being back home. Or maybe he is not single, who knows.

So you’ve not worked out how to read OPs updates huh?