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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

511 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Bananaramahammock · Yesterday 20:04

CrazyMidget · Yesterday 19:13

Many of us women place far too much importance on men. I used to, until I had a long and horrible marriage. Since then, I treat them like condiments. Nice to have, but not having them doesn't spoil any of my enjoyment. I don't give any of the men I date any thought at all, unless they do something to really get my attention. I don't understand why you're even thinking about this man. After you said goodbye, there was no reason to ever think about him again unless he got in touch with you to suggest a time and date to meet up back home. He's not the Messiah, he's not the answer, he's not a prize. He's just a man who probably takes an hour on the loo to have a shit and hasn't called you. You should be asking yourself if YOU like HIM, not the other way round. I, personally, wouldn't like someone who broke a promise to be in touch. Sod him. Sod them all. A man is not the answer. TO ANYTHING.

Fuck me
You do not speak for me.
Please don't include me in your "many of us women"
What a sad and bitter post to read

Mls1984btc · Yesterday 20:05

@BigSpongyHelmet you have given someone like me a glimmer of hope. Many a times when I go on a solo holiday I so wish I had an encounter like yours.
Please do come back and update us, rant or swoon 😄

Hels20 · Yesterday 20:07

Good for you OP! Why shouldn’t you message? Why should it always be the guy? At 52 - who cares if he doesn’t message back? But so pleased he did! So pleased he is coming to Manchester (shows effort). I want an update when one is due! Thanks for sharing.

Hels20 · Yesterday 20:08

And whilst I am happily married I hope my 53 cousin meets someone and has some fun after a couple of LTR ended. Your holiday gives me a glimmer of hope that she may have some fun. And that is what it is at the moment. You never know who you might bump into and when!

PunnyPlumPanda · Yesterday 20:12

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:13

Stop being so sensible 😆

But I hear you...on one hand I'm thinking the same thing but but but on the other hand, I was remembering how shy he was, asking permission to kiss me, hold my hand.

Gah, I'm 52 I really should know better!

I always tell my kids if he wanted to he would

however text him? What’s the worst that can happen?

he can not reply? That’s about it

SpidersAreShitheads · Yesterday 20:13

CrazyMidget · Yesterday 19:13

Many of us women place far too much importance on men. I used to, until I had a long and horrible marriage. Since then, I treat them like condiments. Nice to have, but not having them doesn't spoil any of my enjoyment. I don't give any of the men I date any thought at all, unless they do something to really get my attention. I don't understand why you're even thinking about this man. After you said goodbye, there was no reason to ever think about him again unless he got in touch with you to suggest a time and date to meet up back home. He's not the Messiah, he's not the answer, he's not a prize. He's just a man who probably takes an hour on the loo to have a shit and hasn't called you. You should be asking yourself if YOU like HIM, not the other way round. I, personally, wouldn't like someone who broke a promise to be in touch. Sod him. Sod them all. A man is not the answer. TO ANYTHING.

@CrazyMidget you are seriously underestimating how much I like condiments with my meals.

@BigSpongyHelmet, I'm delighted for you. I hope you explained the confusion over his travel dates 😂🫣

If you can bear more PP advising you not to message him, it would be lovely to get an update when you've met again. I hope things are just as wonderful as you remember, it sounds as if you really clicked.

Sam9769 · Yesterday 20:15

I hope it ll goes well for you but I would be checking him out online too!

100thUsername · Yesterday 20:15

So glad you messaged and got a positive reply! Please can you turn this into a full series because you sound bloody great and I’m invested now in whether this is going to turn into a lovely romance. We can just ignore the dimwits that don’t read the OP’s posts!

SamClamsDisco · Yesterday 20:16

This is so great! I only read your posts @BigSpongyHelmet and what a journey it was. I hope he turns out to be a good egg.

100thUsername · Yesterday 20:16

Ps I met my DH on holiday in 1996!

SpecialShark · Yesterday 20:16

CrazyMidget · Yesterday 19:13

Many of us women place far too much importance on men. I used to, until I had a long and horrible marriage. Since then, I treat them like condiments. Nice to have, but not having them doesn't spoil any of my enjoyment. I don't give any of the men I date any thought at all, unless they do something to really get my attention. I don't understand why you're even thinking about this man. After you said goodbye, there was no reason to ever think about him again unless he got in touch with you to suggest a time and date to meet up back home. He's not the Messiah, he's not the answer, he's not a prize. He's just a man who probably takes an hour on the loo to have a shit and hasn't called you. You should be asking yourself if YOU like HIM, not the other way round. I, personally, wouldn't like someone who broke a promise to be in touch. Sod him. Sod them all. A man is not the answer. TO ANYTHING.

Whatever.

dontthreatenmewithagoodtime · Yesterday 20:17

Great news OP. Ignore the wierd replies... they're just... weird :)

Pls keep us updated.

Gemütlich81 · Yesterday 20:19

Really excited for you 🥰🥰

momtoboys · Yesterday 20:20

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 17:39

Why does any of that matter?

Because we all want to have a vision of our new gentleman suitor in our minds! :)

Thanks for the update!

SpecialShark · Yesterday 20:21

Chuffed for you OP. xx

JoyceTempleSavagehere · Yesterday 20:24

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:36

Well I was going to type something similar, but cba. So far it's a positive outcome but I think some posters would have rubbed their hands with glee if he didnt respond/responded negatively

Honestly you can hear them fizzing from here!! Weirdos. Anyway OP that's great that he's replied! Been following along feeling giddy 😁

NotSureICanDoIt · Yesterday 20:24

Don’t leave the thread! Please! It would so nice to hear how this budding relationship develops ☺️

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:27

There has been some right weird shit posted hasn't there, entertaining though!

So we've been messaging a bit, i keep telling him to get himself home and sorted and we'll catch up tomorrow but he keeps messaging me...what a bastard eh.

Anyway, last message was from him saying he was really looking forward to seeing me again, and he'll message or ring tomorrow to discuss dates that suit us both.

So there we are...for now

OP posts:
ErlingHaalandsManBun · Yesterday 20:27

@BigSpongyHelmet brilliant update!

Ignore the bloody fun sponges on here and go and have an enjoyable date with a nice man.

Good things can happen and not all men are married, liars, dodgy and deceitful. 🙄

Have fun and an update after the date would be great 😁

MysticHalfWitch · Yesterday 20:28

Arghhhh I LOVE this update!! Thank you for letting us know. Can’t believe how fun sucking people are; there is no indication he’s a deviant or a scammer. It’s much nicer than meeting someone off an app!

SoupSoup · Yesterday 20:32

Good on you for ignoring the crazies, OP. Hope it’s good when you meet.

indigorising · Yesterday 20:33

@BigSpongyHelmet do you think a classic case of ‘he needed the nudge’?

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:35

Ok so he's 52, tall (6'1), bald, blue eyes, slim with a teeny belly, was wearing very smart chino shorts and proper shirts, smelled nice, good legs, great lips.

I'm 52, short (5'2), browny/blonde wavy bob, blue eyes, slim, size 8 but with boobs/bum.

We like the same music, similar sense of humour, both a bit sarky/bantery but not annoyingly so. We both like travelling, walking/hiking, dogs

I still don't know his surname nor him mine

That was in response to @momtoboys

OP posts:
Peachy2005 · Yesterday 20:40

Lovely updates…hope it goes well xx

LondonLass2026 · Yesterday 20:41

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 20:35

Ok so he's 52, tall (6'1), bald, blue eyes, slim with a teeny belly, was wearing very smart chino shorts and proper shirts, smelled nice, good legs, great lips.

I'm 52, short (5'2), browny/blonde wavy bob, blue eyes, slim, size 8 but with boobs/bum.

We like the same music, similar sense of humour, both a bit sarky/bantery but not annoyingly so. We both like travelling, walking/hiking, dogs

I still don't know his surname nor him mine

That was in response to @momtoboys

Edited

Ooh, does he have a touch of the Vin Diesels about him? Sounds lush.

Best of luck, op. I've throughly enjoyed reading all this today. I told my partner I'd found one of the best threads ever and would be reading it while he cooked!

No one knows how this will turn out but I wish you the best of luck.