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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

511 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:23

ANNotherWriter · Yesterday 19:12

Come on!

Not really when almost ALL posts so far, until he has appeared, are saying he might be married, check him out etc.

But of course that' s all forgotten as soon as he sends a text in reply to the OP. And arranges to meet her at a hotel - so nowhere near where he lives.

I hope he's genuine but there is nothing wrong in being careful.

Edited

I'd much rather he comes to Manc than me going to his, I'd rather be nearer home IF anything were to go wrong. And I never said I'd stay with him, I might but I'll base that on how it goes at the time

OP posts:
Calliopespa · Yesterday 19:24

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 18:30

Through gritted teeth, it's taking everything I have not to comment on the last couple!

Just ignore.

It's obvious when someone hasn't read absolutely everything before answering: it doesn't need explaining and they work it out eventually.

It's even more boring for posters to have to read out of date comments then your response to them over and over. Also boring to read pp saying "read the updates!". Unless it is truly distressing - like "hope your DH gets well soon" after the OP has said he died - posters constantly telling others their comment is no longer relevant reminds me of when toddlers point out something obvious like saying "You've got a big tummy" to a heavily pregnant woman.

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:24

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Yesterday 19:20

How is the op being defensive?

Yes i wondered that!

OP posts:
Wokeuptired · Yesterday 19:24

I think this is the start of a great romance, and don't worry I can't get dates right either as I'm wishing people happy birthday on the wrong day.
Please keep the thread going as I'm so invested.
If you can't do it for me do it for all the other people worth sad lives.

indigorising · Yesterday 19:24

I’m not cynical, and see op has exited the thread, I had a little smile that he’d responded. However, agree with PPs: why not text in any event 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you’re into someone, after the 3 day cooling off period, it’s likely a person would be pleased to get in touch. I do so hope his response is not a stalling response, ie, he likes the attention, reluctant to let it go but no intention of taking the situation further. I would understand if he’d got cold feet after a little holiday flutter.

chaosmaker · Yesterday 19:25

I think it sounds fab. Hope your date goes well when you arrange one together. Meet halfway in public and all that stuff x

newberry · Yesterday 19:25

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:17

Ok well I think I'm going to leave this thread now, some people are taking all the fun/excitement out of it, and making it sound sinister and dark.

Anyway, i took a risk, it paid off hopefully so thanks all, and especially to those who made me laugh out loud

Nooo OP let us know what happens, I'm so invested! Ignore the weird people.

Greatexpect · Yesterday 19:27

OP this is the best update!!

Always go to him first though until you’re sure it’s something more than a holiday romance.. it’s much easier to leave someone than ask them to leave you! (I take this approach both with work meetings and dates!)

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:29

Greatexpect · Yesterday 19:27

OP this is the best update!!

Always go to him first though until you’re sure it’s something more than a holiday romance.. it’s much easier to leave someone than ask them to leave you! (I take this approach both with work meetings and dates!)

Yeah i get this but I'd rather be in Manc nearer home and not Leeds where i don't know. He won't be staying here, I have my mum here following illness

OP posts:
MassiveOvaryaction · Yesterday 19:30

Nevs · Yesterday 19:13

She written a whole Mumsnet thread about him. Explain how a quick check of flight arrivals is anymore effort or obsessive?

It wasn't the op that was checking out flight arrivals though. And why would she have been when she thought he'd been home since Thursday?!

Dumbledora8 · Yesterday 19:31

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:17

Ok well I think I'm going to leave this thread now, some people are taking all the fun/excitement out of it, and making it sound sinister and dark.

Anyway, i took a risk, it paid off hopefully so thanks all, and especially to those who made me laugh out loud

Ignore them OP. Some people just like to piss on others parades!

TheOnlyWayIsIlford · Yesterday 19:31

WOOOOOHOOOO! Op I am so glad this turned out with a Next Chapter!
Well done for taking the leap and messaging him.

Manchester and Leeds are really well connected by train, aren’t they?

We need an update after your next date!

Just ignore everyone who asks previously answered questions.

Nevs · Yesterday 19:33

MassiveOvaryaction · Yesterday 19:30

It wasn't the op that was checking out flight arrivals though. And why would she have been when she thought he'd been home since Thursday?!

What are you talking about? I never said the OP had checked the flights.

MassiveOvaryaction · Yesterday 19:34

ANNotherWriter · Yesterday 19:12

Come on!

Not really when almost ALL posts so far, until he has appeared, are saying he might be married, check him out etc.

But of course that' s all forgotten as soon as he sends a text in reply to the OP. And arranges to meet her at a hotel - so nowhere near where he lives.

I hope he's genuine but there is nothing wrong in being careful.

Edited

Checking flight arrivals when you aren't one of the involved parties and know not from or to where is next level nuts and you know it!

@BigSpongyHelmet I hope you have a lovely time when you do meet up and that he's just as lovely without the beer/holiday romance goggles!

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:34

So he said he's back at work Thursday...which is probably where I got that from, I thought it was last Thursday but it's this Thursday. I had had a few drinks so I could have misunderstood, or he could be talking bollocks...but I can't see that it matters really? So he came back later than I thought/he said...and?

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · Yesterday 19:34

Please don’t leave OP, the majority of us are sane, positive posters

Calliopespa · Yesterday 19:35

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:17

Ok well I think I'm going to leave this thread now, some people are taking all the fun/excitement out of it, and making it sound sinister and dark.

Anyway, i took a risk, it paid off hopefully so thanks all, and especially to those who made me laugh out loud

I'm not sure why the way in which you met him on holiday would be any more sinister than if you met him down the pub tbh. Or on a dating app, which people are apparently doing all the time.

I'm sure he's legit and there isn;t really reason to suspect otherwise.

jojojoeyjojo · Yesterday 19:35

I just want to say OP..as a fellow 50 year old singleton…you sound absolutely fabulous! Ignore the batshit doomsayers and pearl clutchers…have fun! I wish you all the best X

MassiveOvaryaction · Yesterday 19:35

Nevs · Yesterday 19:33

What are you talking about? I never said the OP had checked the flights.

Thought the 'she's written a whole thread about him' meant you were talking about the op Hmm

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:36

Calliopespa · Yesterday 19:35

I'm not sure why the way in which you met him on holiday would be any more sinister than if you met him down the pub tbh. Or on a dating app, which people are apparently doing all the time.

I'm sure he's legit and there isn;t really reason to suspect otherwise.

Well I was going to type something similar, but cba. So far it's a positive outcome but I think some posters would have rubbed their hands with glee if he didnt respond/responded negatively

OP posts:
Forkbangles · Yesterday 19:37

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:17

Ok well I think I'm going to leave this thread now, some people are taking all the fun/excitement out of it, and making it sound sinister and dark.

Anyway, i took a risk, it paid off hopefully so thanks all, and especially to those who made me laugh out loud

OP I met my now DH 3 days before the end of a holiday 28 years ago. Happily married for 20 now.

My DH called me 4 days after he got back,
he didn’t want to look too keen, but it was killing me!

It can be real 🤩

BigSpongyHelmet · Yesterday 19:38

And i don't think i was obsessing either to the poster who said that. Yes I started a thread about messaging a bloke, was i then not supposed to update or respond to questions?

OP posts:
Anotherusername123456 · Yesterday 19:38

I really wish you the best xxx

Sulgari · Yesterday 19:39

I’m loving the update @BigSpongyHelmet

Great story to tell at the wedding 😊💕

You sound really switched on and funny, wishing you well

Shelaydownunderthetable · Yesterday 19:39

Yay! Thanks for the afternoon fun, OP. Hope it works out ❤️