Partners staying over

[StarClouds]

If you have your children full time and started dating again at what point did you feel comfortable having them over when your kids are in bed? Im thinking around 6 months?

I agree with this, and yes, I was a lone parent.

I think this is a mistake. Your DC would definitely hear, and perhaps see, a man they didn't know in the home at night.

I liked the reply from a PP - which you acknowledged positively - setting out her gradual timeline for introductions, low-level familiarity and building it up.

No they wouldn't at all. My kids rooms are upstairs towards the back of house. They regularly come downstairs to find a guest in the living room or kitchen and they had no idea they were there and that's in the middle of the day. At night, they'd have no idea at all because they'd be asleep.

If your partner's a woman, you should've said.

There's currently a young woman going through court who abused kids at her nursery. Guess what is all over her social media posts before her arrest? Posts asking if anyone local she knows needs a babysitter.

Having children full time means not having much opportunity to date .
If you can only have a date night every other week ( as an example) why would having that person in your family home ( when the children are there) after six months be a good idea? You barely know them.
Even if you see the person you're dating much more than that, it's still too early.
For my divorced friends, they introduced after about two years. Then gradually moved on to staying over. There was no sneaking a stranger in and out of the house. It's just not necessary.

Just because you've been dating for 6 months, it doesnt mean you've only known them 6 months.

Also, even though you see each other infrequently, you may speak all the time via other methods. You can really get to know someone you've met in person with frequent communication between meets.

No you are thinking of someone else.

No it’s speculation

so how long ago did you break up with the children’s father?

and 6 months in to a relationship, because you will barely be able to see him, you’ll hardly know him. Not like you can stay the night at his. So this isn’t just a normal 6 month relationship anyway - you’ll barely have spent time with him after 6 months @StarClouds

Are you even seeing someone or is this all theoretical?

Yes I am seeing someone and thats why you invite them over so you can get to know them better otherwise how will you ever, thats the whole purpose. And I’ve been a single parent for years.

I thought your children are very young? How young?

We already know each other. He is not a stranger

Where did I say they were young? I said young children may wake mine aren’t young

I introduced after two years but they still don't know he stays over

Ok so they’re not young

But will DEFINITELY not wake up! What time do these not young kids go to bed?

No idea why you’re not saying their age.

under 5 - too young

5-11 - ‘get to know him’ when they’re at school

12 + - they’re old enough time stay home alone so you can ‘get to know him’ outside of the home

Thats your opinion, we do meet then but I would like to progress things at some point! We don’t know each other

You said it!! You don’t know each other and your children’s home isn’t the place to get to know him!!

Autocorrect 🤷‍♀️

Not really, it’s because no matter what their age is you’d say it’s wrong because they are that age

Nobody is saying you have to live like a nun or you can’t be happy OP- but the fact is, you’re a mother first. Your posts here suggest you have maybe forgotten that.

It’s perfectly possible to date someone and have sex with them without having them stay at your house.

How when you are a lone parent please share!