Partners staying over

[StarClouds]

If you have your children full time and started dating again at what point did you feel comfortable having them over when your kids are in bed? Im thinking around 6 months?

well, if you're so set on putting your children in danger, go for it. i dont think there's anything anyone would say to stop you.

And I had a stepfather who tried to kiss me and touch my breasts when I was 15.

Wow, I think you are getting a really tough time on here @StarClouds

I honestly don't see the harm in you having a guy round in the evening, and even staying the night and leaving before the kids get up, that you have been getting to know for 6 months. Or even introducing them to him. Surely we introduce new friends to our children all the time?

If you have been getting to know each other and dating for 6 months then you are not strangers to one another.

I am pretty sure you are capable of making sure you keep your kids safe around this guy until you are 100% sure you can trust him.

No-one with kids in the house are going to take any silly chances in that 'getting to know you' first year and put the kids at risk but surely having someone round for dinner while the kids sleep is pretty safe.

What do people think is going to happen?

How are you supposed to move a relationship on to the next level if you can't spend evenings together in one another's company?

Not all men are dangerous sexual predators who will prey on your kids and only date a single mom to get close to the kids. In fact, the majority are not.

As long as you air on the side of caution with the kids then all should be fine.

Thank you. Yeah this thread has been really eye opening about peoples opinions on lone parents dating again, I’ve been called a shit mum, a bad mum, for what? Wanting a partner again? I haven’t invited him round the first night we met, weve been seeing each other for a while now and I would like things to progress as you said how would it ever progress if you only meet for a couple of hours during the day? Most adults want some company in the evenings, and after 6 months it’s no different to inviting a friend round.

I think people calling you a shit mum and not caring about your kids and desperate for a shag is shocking. Its awful.

Are single mums never supposed to try and find a new partner?

Like you say, its not like you are bringing a nightclub pick up back to the house, this is someone you have been getting to know for 6 months and want to move the relationship forward and see if there is anything there.

Surely spending time at one another's homes in the evening, having dinner, watching TV together, sharing a bed is the next step to doing that?

As long as you are careful and diligent where the kids are involved then I just don't get the crap that you have been given on here.

MN just thinks all men are sex fiends 🙄

So why not invite a friend around?

If you can be 100% certain your children won’t ever get up in the night then that can only mean one thing… they are babies in a cot or you lock them in .

most of us are parents on this thread Op - so if someone says they know for certainly their child won’t get up in the night - we know that means baby on a cot (or something more horrifying!)

She doesn't want a friend she wants a partner.

So would people feel okay with her inviting a friend round that the kids didn't know while they were in bed?

Why is it deemed acceptable to invite a friend round, but not a guy she has been getting to know for 6 months?

He is a friend.

So weird that people don’t realise that everyone’s kids are different, mine haven’t woken in the night for years! Feel sorry for those of you that have older kids that still wake throughout the night but it’s not normal past a certain age.

Mine was the same.

Was asleep from bedtime to waking and very very rarely got up in the night.

Im surprised so many people with older kids say they get up in the night, I can’t even remember the last time mine got up in the night in the last couple of years (If one was ill then be wouldnt be invited over)

And people saying that im drugging my children 😅 so pathetic, some kids are just deep sleepers!

Water
Toilet

Bad dreams
ill

Still being weirdly cagey about the age

I know my own children what makes you think you know them more? They go toilet before bed (every night) and have a drink before bed. (They don’t really have nightmares not to the point of waking, cant think of any in the last couple of years) and like I said if they were ill he wouldn’t stay over

It's because they are riddled with anxiety and wake up screaming most nights with night terrors.

You should get therapy to deal with that in a healthier way than you seem to have done thus far.

Are you saying the OP doesn't deserve to be a parent?

All normal parents are quiet when we fuck. We dont scream down the house just because we are fucking their father. Have you been doing otherwise?

Eh? What are you on about?

So your judgement isnt because all kids wake up at all, you just want to dictate how people raise their kids and who they bring into their homes.

It seems like your horrific ordeal has left you unable to form rational conclusions about other people's situations because your stepdad molested you. You should get therapy.