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Original poster

Husband received overseas paternity test request and is refusing to engage

683 replies

Operaofthephantom · 08/09/2026 19:46

I'm pretty sure I already know what this means but I can't talk to anyone close right now because I don't have the energy.
Husband got asked to comply with a paternity test request from abroad. It was issued via a solicitor's office by post. I know the requestor, or at least have met her before some years ago. One of those times she was pregnant and she and her husband were so happy.

He denies everything and refuses to engage and says he doesn't have to.
I don't know why I am even writing this. I somehow already know that it's probably true and that he'll never admit it.

OP posts:
OVienna · 09/09/2026 14:50

apologies, we do.

Freeme31 · 09/09/2026 14:56

I think you know your husband has been unfaithful, but it is not the child or your fault. The child may contract your children (as their brother/sisyer)in the future how will that look to them that you knew and your husband did not pay/support the child. Yes this is a mess but it’s not your mess. But ultimately and separately you have to decide if you want to be married to a man who sleeps with other women.

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:04

OVienna · 09/09/2026 14:50

apologies, we do.

I reread, and it seems the woman is requesting it through her solicitor rather than the court being the one to request it? If so, this would suggest that she hasn’t, at this point, applied to the courts to establish paternity.

This actually does make a difference. She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child. She had six months from the birth of her child to dispute this. If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court (which may be why she hasn’t gone through the court to request a paternity test, if indeed this is the case).

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:05

oviraptor21 · 09/09/2026 09:11

It could be the woman's DP asking for the test as he doesn't trust her. She could know full well it's not OP's partner's child.

Show quote history

In this case, he ought to know he couldn’t be the child’s father and doing a test would
prove that.

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:06

I'm wondering what the request is about.

I'm in Czechia and the paternity here is assumed (marriage), declared (by agreement) or proven (by court mandated tests - refusing them would lead to fines, court order or arrest).
Afaik if he is taken to court and loses, he will be ordered to pay the court expenses and court-mandated test (more expensive than commercial).

Some standard commercial tests have no legal value, but can be used to avoid going to court.

I suppose it might be a letter before action, asking him to do the commercial test voluntarily and the next steps would depend on the result, potentially asking him to declare his paternity and pay, or just pay without the declaration.

If there is a good chance he is the father, doing it voluntarily will be cheaper than being taken to the court.

MNLurker1345 · 09/09/2026 15:17

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 09/09/2026 11:32

Huh? If the husband is the presumed father of the child (but simply having doubts), he could simply get tested. He wouldn’t need to test OP‘s H to find out whether he himself (as the mother‘s DH) is the biological father…

Edited
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Absolutely! The OWs DH has either already done one and it shows he is not the DF

OR

The OW is not sure who is the DF and has initiated this on her own.

The OWs controlling DH isn’t going to make her request a paternity test from OPs DH because he is controlling. If he knows or suspects that the DC is not his he will definitely have had one done himself.

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:20

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:04

I reread, and it seems the woman is requesting it through her solicitor rather than the court being the one to request it? If so, this would suggest that she hasn’t, at this point, applied to the courts to establish paternity.

This actually does make a difference. She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child. She had six months from the birth of her child to dispute this. If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court (which may be why she hasn’t gone through the court to request a paternity test, if indeed this is the case).

Edited
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If her husband successfully proven his non-paternity at court, the mother can seek to replace the assumed father with bio father at any time.

OP, how old would the child be? There is an important (thought not absolute) cut off at 6 years of age for her husband to do this.

Alternatively, both courts might be amalgamated, proving that her husband is not the father and someone else is, than the age is less relevant.

(I'm not a lawyer thought, just speculating here )

AcrossthePond55 · 09/09/2026 15:31

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:04

I reread, and it seems the woman is requesting it through her solicitor rather than the court being the one to request it? If so, this would suggest that she hasn’t, at this point, applied to the courts to establish paternity.

This actually does make a difference. She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child. She had six months from the birth of her child to dispute this. If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court (which may be why she hasn’t gone through the court to request a paternity test, if indeed this is the case).

Edited
Show quote history

She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child.

The Lord Mansfield rule. But that's a rebuttable presumption at any time. So if either this woman or her DH want to question the child's paternity at this time, they can.

If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court

There have been cases here (US state) where the husband has been determined to NOT be the father biologically, but is still determined to be the father 'at law' and is awarded visitation/custody (US term) and also ordered to pay support. But this is usually when the parent/child relationship has been ongoing for years.

Personally, if I were OP's DH I wouldn't submit to a paternity test unless ordered to do so by a court of law. If it's to disprove her husband is the child's father, then he or she can get a DNA test to rule him in or out. If it turns out her husband is not the father, then she can ask OP's DH again, showing him that her husband has been ruled out, or pursue things legally.

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:37

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:20

If her husband successfully proven his non-paternity at court, the mother can seek to replace the assumed father with bio father at any time.

OP, how old would the child be? There is an important (thought not absolute) cut off at 6 years of age for her husband to do this.

Alternatively, both courts might be amalgamated, proving that her husband is not the father and someone else is, than the age is less relevant.

(I'm not a lawyer thought, just speculating here )

Show quote history

If he has. He may not want to, or he may not be within the time frame to do so. He gets six months to dispute paternity, from the point when he discovers that he isn’t the father. After that point, a court is unlikely to invalidate paternity. Six years from the child’s birth is the limit, but exceptional circumstances can see this waived.

I would be interested in knowing whether this is a private request, or one from the court.

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:39

AcrossthePond55 · 09/09/2026 15:31

She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child.

The Lord Mansfield rule. But that's a rebuttable presumption at any time. So if either this woman or her DH want to question the child's paternity at this time, they can.

If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court

There have been cases here (US state) where the husband has been determined to NOT be the father biologically, but is still determined to be the father 'at law' and is awarded visitation/custody (US term) and also ordered to pay support. But this is usually when the parent/child relationship has been ongoing for years.

Personally, if I were OP's DH I wouldn't submit to a paternity test unless ordered to do so by a court of law. If it's to disprove her husband is the child's father, then he or she can get a DNA test to rule him in or out. If it turns out her husband is not the father, then she can ask OP's DH again, showing him that her husband has been ruled out, or pursue things legally.

Show quote history

She is in Czechia. Lord Mansfield is irrelevant here.

Anyway, this is both legal and moral question.

While the best legal action depends on many things including the age of the child, morally I'd want to know if there was my child somewhere (though being a woman I might have noticed...)

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:41

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:06

I'm wondering what the request is about.

I'm in Czechia and the paternity here is assumed (marriage), declared (by agreement) or proven (by court mandated tests - refusing them would lead to fines, court order or arrest).
Afaik if he is taken to court and loses, he will be ordered to pay the court expenses and court-mandated test (more expensive than commercial).

Some standard commercial tests have no legal value, but can be used to avoid going to court.

I suppose it might be a letter before action, asking him to do the commercial test voluntarily and the next steps would depend on the result, potentially asking him to declare his paternity and pay, or just pay without the declaration.

If there is a good chance he is the father, doing it voluntarily will be cheaper than being taken to the court.

But can they force a UK citizen to take a test?

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:42

AcrossthePond55 · 09/09/2026 15:31

She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child.

The Lord Mansfield rule. But that's a rebuttable presumption at any time. So if either this woman or her DH want to question the child's paternity at this time, they can.

If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court

There have been cases here (US state) where the husband has been determined to NOT be the father biologically, but is still determined to be the father 'at law' and is awarded visitation/custody (US term) and also ordered to pay support. But this is usually when the parent/child relationship has been ongoing for years.

Personally, if I were OP's DH I wouldn't submit to a paternity test unless ordered to do so by a court of law. If it's to disprove her husband is the child's father, then he or she can get a DNA test to rule him in or out. If it turns out her husband is not the father, then she can ask OP's DH again, showing him that her husband has been ruled out, or pursue things legally.

Show quote history

They’re in Czechia, under Czech jurisdiction.

The married mother can file to deny paternity within six months of the birth. The named father has six months from the point of discovery.

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:45

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:41

But can they force a UK citizen to take a test?

Show quote history

They can, but it isn’t straightforward. OP’s husband could fight it for years.

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:45

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:45

They can, but it isn’t straightforward. OP’s husband could fight it for years.

Show quote history

If he bothered to do that, he knows what the test will show. I think we all already do, though, don’t we?

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 15:47

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:41

But can they force a UK citizen to take a test?

Show quote history

Yes. Haag convention, they can ask UK court for cooperation.

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:52

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:45

If he bothered to do that, he knows what the test will show. I think we all already do, though, don’t we?

Show quote history

Well, we don’t know. We can speculate as to his reasoning. Based on OP’s suspicions I personally think it likely that he believes he may be the father.

I have known people fight tooth and nail on principle alone, so I don’t automatically believe refusal to test to be conclusive proof of guilt.

squarecrow · 09/09/2026 15:55

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:52

Well, we don’t know. We can speculate as to his reasoning. Based on OP’s suspicions I personally think it likely that he believes he may be the father.

I have known people fight tooth and nail on principle alone, so I don’t automatically believe refusal to test to be conclusive proof of guilt.

Show quote history

You can definitely know something even though you don’t have any proof. And affairs are one of those things imo. OP wouldn’t respond this way if she didn’t already know.

Nevermind31 · 09/09/2026 16:04

I would probe a bit further… was it her husband who thinks your husband is the father, and wants a test? And your husband is refusing because he cannot be the father?
or is it her pushing this, knowing that either man could be the father?
big difference

FourSevenFive · 09/09/2026 16:06

Nevermind31 · 09/09/2026 16:04

I would probe a bit further… was it her husband who thinks your husband is the father, and wants a test? And your husband is refusing because he cannot be the father?
or is it her pushing this, knowing that either man could be the father?
big difference

Which would mean engaging with them and opening communication.

Original poster
Operaofthephantom · 09/09/2026 16:07

He did fuck her and they had an affair with her.
fucking arsehole

OP posts:
Bonkers1966 · 09/09/2026 16:10

Operaofthephantom · 09/09/2026 16:07

He did fuck her and they had an affair with her.
fucking arsehole

Sorry you have had such a terrible shock, OP. At least you now know why is pretending that none of it has anything to do with him. Absolute fecker.

OVienna · 09/09/2026 16:13

InterIgnis · 09/09/2026 15:04

I reread, and it seems the woman is requesting it through her solicitor rather than the court being the one to request it? If so, this would suggest that she hasn’t, at this point, applied to the courts to establish paternity.

This actually does make a difference. She’s married, so the presumption is that her husband is the father of her child. She had six months from the birth of her child to dispute this. If she’s trying to deny her husband’s paternity now, it’s highly unlikely to be allowed by the court (which may be why she hasn’t gone through the court to request a paternity test, if indeed this is the case).

Edited
Show quote history

Do we know she is still married?

OVienna · 09/09/2026 16:17

I suspect not and if her ex has got wind of the parentage question, then maybe he's stopped paying any support and she is following up with the OP's DH...

Seriestwo · 09/09/2026 16:20

I’m sorry, this is going to be messy, @Operaofthephantom.

do you have somewhere you can get legal advice?

momtoboys · 09/09/2026 16:25

I'm sorry. What a mess.