Instagram

[Missmos89]

On Instagram if you type random letters into search such as “a” “b” can pages your friends follow come up that you have never clicked on?

I looked at my husbands and went mental as I seen three girls and he swears to me he’s never looked at their profile. Two I know for a fact his friends follow. They aren’t nude or anything, just influencer and other two are normal. I’ve got serious low self esteem and constantly seek reassurance from my husband of 10 years but he’s very depressed over my behaviour and was even crying saying it’s so sad I don’t trust him.

Forgot to add my husband which I know is true only ever uses Instagram for reels and watching friends stories etc he doesn’t search for anyone.

It doesnt really matter. You've said yourself you have low self esteem so you need to work on that. You can't rely on your husband to constantly reassure you. Please seek help.

are you actually old enough to be married?

So, you logged into your husbands instagram, and didn't see anything. Then you typed into a search bar, got search results, and so 'went mental'?

I'd be depressed and crying too, then speaking to a lawyer. That's paranoid, abusive, and controlling behaviour.

I barely use instagram (literally don't think I've logged into it for a year)

Just logged in to test it for you, typed "a" into the search and the first two results were Anne Hathaway and Ariana Grande, neither of whom I have any interest in whatsoever. Both of whom came up before my actual partner, who is one of only 5 people I'm friends with on there.

So yes, it definitely comes up with a load of people that you've never searched for @Missmos89 . You really need to get some help for your issues before you lose your husband, because "going mental" at him for having some random people pop up in a search is pretty abusive.

When I do this, it comes up with things I’ve looked at recently or things I follow. For example, a friend’s husband. We are not friends and I do not follow him, but he’s a cheating asshole so yes, I was snooping on his page. Another is a guy I sold a horse to years ago so have him in my contacts.

If Dh was a jealous type (he’s not) and going through my Instagram 🙄 I could see it looking like I was wanking over my friend’s husband or chatting to some random guy, but I’m not.

See this is the issue one is his friends friend who is really pretty and I’m worried he was checking her out- he’s never seen her before and I said if he was just being nosey fine but he swore he’s never ever looked at it and said he said he was being set up. When I do it on my own Instagram it comes up with people I follow or have clicked on or sometimes just suggestions based on my friends following so I dunno maybe he’s telling the truth

I know I need help.

You do need help. So does your husband. What you are doing is abusive and controlling.

Honestly, you really need to seek help or there will come a point when your husband has had enough.

Why does her husband?

The op has said he is very depressed and crying because of her behaviour.

This is insane behaviour OP. You are going to end up destroying your own marriage.

You need to urgently find a long term therapist.

I totally do everyone is right im
struggling majorly. Just started medication and awaiting a therapist.

it all came about because his for you page had influencers on despite all he looks at is cars and i see his reels etc all cars and so I thought he was searching or clicking these people

Your poor husband. You’ll drive him away. Get help.

Jesus OP you need help asap. When I look at my FYP it shows loads sof random stuff I've never looked at before, it's an algorithm that designed to hook you in. Mens Instagram will likely be filled with half naked women just tempting them to click even if they never have before.

Making your husband cry and become depressed is abuse OP, you really need to seek help

So I have just tested this, and if I put "a" in for example, it has brought up profiles for people i have looked at recently, not people I follow. You need help OP, this level of jealousy is very unhealthy and abusive.

Instagram is full of pin-up type content, is effectively a free dating app for many men and provides them with such a huge opportunity to look at inappropriate thirst content or salivate at Insta models. He doesn't have to be on Instagram - there's car content all over Youtube as well, so what was the draw to Instagram?

Having said that, I wouldn't put too much stock in someone clicking a profile because he thinks a face is pretty, and Instagram does push porn towards people the moment they join Instagram, and if he's looking at car content, it wouldn't surprise me if it'll continue doing that even if he doesn't engage.

Just out of curiosity - do you think your feelings would evaporate if he wasn't on Instagram?

Great so he has looked at them

Why would he be so upset and swear to me

Probably not. Also Instagram he got when it was the In thing years ago, to keep in touch with family and old friends etc he doesn’t use it much apart from reels and friends stories he sends reels most of the time to me, his friend and my dad daily

When I type in a letter I get given a list of accounts that I don’t follow that are followed by my friends. I just clicked on a few of them and the second one on the list is a woman who mostly posts pictures of herself in her undies. This is nothing like the sort of content that I usually look at and I don’t get that kind of content in my feed.

I’m not going to stick the boot in because you’re clearly unwell. I hope that your treatment is successful because you really need to get this sorted. It’s not fair on your husband to have to live like this.

So what though? You can't control what he looks at, you'll drive yourself mad. It doesn't sound like it's porn, just a friend of a friend? I think it's gross when middle aged men spend all their time ogling women on Instagram and the like but it doesn't sound like he's in this category as just being a bit curious. People are entitled to some privacy and freedom.

This

What is your issue with him looking at instagram accounts? How are you addressing your low self esteem - 10 years is a long time to be aware of it and continue to bother your husband about his social media usage in this way.